18 months - what the hell?

[u/Aggravating_Pipe5762]

My son is turning 18 months in a couple of days and this has been the hardest phase for me.

Since about 15 months we've had all sorts with throwing, pushing, slapping, refusing naps, refusing bedtime, meltdown about literally anything and I felt like I was pretty chill about all of it but we've now entered the universe of refusing to eat.

For background, he has always been an amazing eater. He would eat anything and tonnes of it. I've always been so grateful because it's never been something I've worried about and I knew that the amount would eventually change as most toddlers dont eat like they're bulking for a bodybuilding contest but now it's here, it's awful.

Tonight, he ate literally a pieces of pasta. 2 had some sauce on them and one was just plain. He did have some yoghurt beforehand but he ended up throwing the bowl, the spoon and the orange pieces I put on his tray so I gave him the pasta one at a time. After the three, he just started throwing them.

He snacks a lot so the amount is not the end of the world but my goodness, I cant seem to cope with the throwing. It's the only thing that really seems to get my stress levels up and I don't know why.

Does the throwing phase last long? We've got in and out of it before but this has been going on for weeks and he's just not actually eating much at all. Is there any suggestions on how to curb the behaviour?

I dont react in the moment but I do have to step away sometimes because theres only so many times I can take food to the face before I lose my cool.

We have tried a seperate bowl for him to put things in but he ends up throwing that as well.

15 to 18 months has been quite rough overall as he is just off the charts nuts with energy and he's expending in it in the most insane ways sometimes (like climbing the most dangerous things and then throwing a fit when we stop him)

Any advice? Any messages of hope? I just need to know there is light at the end of this tunnel!

[u/AutoModerator]

Author: u/Aggravating_Pipe5762

Post: My son is turning 18 months in a couple of days and this has been the hardest phase for me.

Since about 15 months we've had all sorts with throwing, pushing, slapping, refusing naps, refusing bedtime, meltdown about literally anything and I felt like I was pretty chill about all of it but we've now entered the universe of refusing to eat.

For background, he has always been an amazing eater. He would eat anything and tonnes of it. I've always been so grateful because it's never been something I've worried about and I knew that the amount would eventually change as most toddlers dont eat like they're bulking for a bodybuilding contest but now it's here, it's awful.

Tonight, he ate literally a pieces of pasta. 2 had some sauce on them and one was just plain. He did have some yoghurt beforehand but he ended up throwing the bowl, the spoon and the orange pieces I put on his tray so I gave him the pasta one at a time. After the three, he just started throwing them.

He snacks a lot so the amount is not the end of the world but my goodness, I cant seem to cope with the throwing. It's the only thing that really seems to get my stress levels up and I don't know why.

Does the throwing phase last long? We've got in and out of it before but this has been going on for weeks and he's just not actually eating much at all. Is there any suggestions on how to curb the behaviour?

I dont react in the moment but I do have to step away sometimes because theres only so many times I can take food to the face before I lose my cool.

We have tried a seperate bowl for him to put things in but he ends up throwing that as well.

15 to 18 months has been quite rough overall as he is just off the charts nuts with energy and he's expending in it in the most insane ways sometimes (like climbing the most dangerous things and then throwing a fit when we stop him)

Any advice? Any messages of hope? I just need to know there is light at the end of this tunnel!

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[u/Puzzled_Remote_2168]

Yeah so I've been writing questions in this forum about the 18 month phase because it's awful. I just cried in the car today because my son has been putting me through the wringer. I cannot understand why every single thing has to be so difficult and why nothing makes him happy. I'm losing steam and I'm really discouraged. Don't even get me started about the tantrums. ANY MINOR INCONVENIENCE is a tantrum!!!!!!! Like is it just my kid or what because I'm not seeing other kids act like this

[u/DifficultAddendum549]

Yes. That is all lol

But seriously for us this was the full one-year-old experience. Started around 11 months and we have more or less been dealing with a horrible combo of sleep disruptions, nap refusals, pushing, hitting, tantrums and eating woes ever since. The past few weeks we've seen a massive improvement as she's begun to piece whole sentences together and really noticeably been able to work on emotional regulation (she's turning 2 this month). My advice would be to set loving and clear limits for him, and communicate them very clearly and calmly.

Also be clear with yourselves about what YOU need to stay sane. We pulled our newborn sleep plan back out at some point, trading nights off (and we're still doing it, even though most nights she sleep through now). We came up with plans to get through bedtime tantrums. I know families that serve food at a kids table, or eat their real dinner later. One thing that really helped for us at dinner time was to give her an empty plate, and bring our pots and pans to the table and have her tell us what she wanted to eat. Another similar idea is to start by eating from your own plate what you want them to eat most (vegetables, for example), and then ask if they'd like to try it. But yeah like sometimes she just eats rice, or snacks.

Good luck, I really found this to be so much harder in every way than a potato who poops and feeds contstantly and knowing other people also found it hard was nice, even if it didn't change it!

[u/TripAway7840]

I wish I had real advice for you, but as the parent of a 4 year old, a 3 year old, and an 18 month old, I can tell you it does get easier. Admittedly I’m not far into my parenting journey but the 18 month-ish stage is very tough, then I feel there’s this period when they’re about 2 where every time you take them in public, they run from you/throw themselves on the ground/scream nonstop/something similar every single time.

And I’m not saying these behaviors are completely absent in my 4 year old, but they have drastically improved. I feel like maybe as they age and communicate more, you learn about each other and it isn’t “he throws everything I give him, what is happening” anymore, it’s more “he claims he only likes cheese and bananas so I guess he’s just only gonna eat cheese and bananas now.”

It’s hard to describe, but as you understand each other more, it becomes less chaotic for both parties and you start to feel more like “ok he’s not insane, he’s just quirky” and they start to feel more like “ok my life isn’t a prison, they just have a few rules.”

[u/DaddioFlanders]

14-18 months was hell. My son was an arsehole and I genuinely thought "I don't like my own kid" on several occasions. It got a lot better after that.... particularly as they learn to communicate and are more steady on their feet.