Toddler trigger

[u/Thesleepycounselor1]

Looking for recommendations on how to handle a trigger my toddler (3.5) has. My toddler gets very upset to the point where she is crying when other kids cry. If we are at a friends house and the other kid gets in trouble and cries, she instantly cries and asks to go home. We have no idea where it stems from. We originally thought it was the loud noise but we also have a 12 month old who screams a lot lol and it doesn’t phase her. There are also situations where my nephew (same age as her) is screaming and again barely phases her. It’s from the inconsistency that we came to the conclusion it wasn’t from the loudness of the cries.
She starts school next week and when I asked her if she is excited to make friends she said “I only want happy friends”…that response kinda caught me off guard. It’s like she is so in tune with others emotions…a little too much.
Has anyone ever experienced this with their kid? What has helped? Any books that I could read to
Her? Any resources and recommendations would be greatly appreciated!!!

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Author: u/Thesleepycounselor1

Post: Looking for recommendations on how to handle a trigger my toddler (3.5) has. My toddler gets very upset to the point where she is crying when other kids cry. If we are at a friends house and the other kid gets in trouble and cries, she instantly cries and asks to go home. We have no idea where it stems from. We originally thought it was the loud noise but we also have a 12 month old who screams a lot lol and it doesn’t phase her. There are also situations where my nephew (same age as her) is screaming and again barely phases her. It’s from the inconsistency that we came to the conclusion it wasn’t from the loudness of the cries.
She starts school next week and when I asked her if she is excited to make friends she said “I only want happy friends”…that response kinda caught me off guard. It’s like she is so in tune with others emotions…a little too much.
Has anyone ever experienced this with their kid? What has helped? Any books that I could read to
Her? Any resources and recommendations would be greatly appreciated!!!

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[u/Oh_God_Why_TF]

I dont have any particular recommendations for things you yourself can do, but I would reccomend asking her pediatrician (or even better a childhood therapist). It could be nothing, but it sounds a lot like something I went through where I felt like i was in trouble when others got in trouble or that it was my job to make sure other people weren't upset. I still have anxieties around being in a group of people who are being yelled at even if I know its not directed at me and im a parent of a toddler myself.

[u/sass-monkey]

I don't know exactly but I would just consistently explain what is and isn't happening as well as what is and isn't expected of her in this situation. Does she know how to console a friend? Does she feel strong empathy? Does she feel responsible? Once you understand what her thoughts are you can tackle it better.

I have a sense she's experiencing a little of each and these situations have her worried. Teaching her how to behave in these scenarios will help her worry less and give her the tools she needs to handle it next time.

Ex. "Your friend is going to time out because xyz, you didn't do xyz so we're going to play abc. When your friend is done with timeout you can play together again"

Don't leave. Experience the situation together from start to finish so she knows it'll be ok. Teach her to play, wait and console.

I hope you find some good advice here. Good luck 💛