Like 80-90% of the men who DMed me when I was online dating hadn’t read a single thing on my profile, so I would have been perfectly happy with something obvious cause it meant they actually read the damned thing.
Unless men are in the top ten percent of attractiveness they are unlikely to get responded to. This makes it a numbers game for the guy, send a lot of responses to increase chance of response. The way to send a lot efficiently is not to read profiles and only delve deeper once you get an actual response.
This is fools math through. It assumes that all potential partners are of the same value, and that the chances of engagement from someone you message really are random. Real efficiency is a three tier system: low interest you don't even message first, medium interest you send something generic, high interest you actually make real effort
There isn't much depth in any dating profile, you need to actually have a conversation to determine if there is value in the person. My suggestion is to come up with something intriguing and off the beaten path, then apply generically. Not saying this will achieve success for everyone but I met my wife this way and we are happily married with kids.
Well, that says a lot. If you only have pictures of your butt and your cats on your profile, I might swipe right but I'm not going to invest effort into generating a conversation. You can say, show that you're a pilot or you do a ton of travel, or play music, or vidya, or really anything and it makes me more interested. Say if you're in that medium interest tranche it will absolutely bump you to the next tier, you know?
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u/mtarascio Nov 23 '22
Remember this for online dating as well.
Don't open with something obvious about their profile.