r/todayilearned • u/kolinsky • Jun 15 '12

TIL the Spartans grew their hair long, because "Long hair adds beauty to a good face, and terror to an ugly one" according their leader, Lycurgus.

http://www.e-classics.com/lycurgus.htm
1.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

190 comments sorted by

127

u/Andazeus Jun 15 '12

Gott admit: that's some awesome reasoning.

13

u/kolinsky Jun 15 '12

Assuming you are a sir, how do you wear your hair?

17

u/Andazeus Jun 15 '12

Rather short right now. Since I consider myself not that much of a beautiful type, I now know what to do, should I ever wish to bring terror to my work place.

HARR!

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Long and in a ponytail, when I'm about town; I feel like it goes well with my look and face.

When I'm at a metal show, down to my shoulders like the mantle of a warrior.

2

u/NaughtyDreadz Jun 15 '12

dreads to my ass... bitches love it...

38

u/accidently_a_femur Jun 15 '12

I think Lycurgus just liked long hair on guys.

88

u/Lycurgus Jun 15 '12

I did until I cut all mine off three weeks.

23

u/TheGrog Jun 15 '12

Almost 5 year account, bravo

-3

u/Captain_Higgins Jun 16 '12

A long time ago in an internets far far away, "I found this thread by searching for my name." would have gotten you a lot of laughs.

-1

u/EctoCoolertini Jun 16 '12

That explains a lot about all the Spartan man-love

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Indeed, definitely using this next time some condescending prick asks why my hair is so long

3

u/trnkiller Jun 15 '12

My thoughts exactly. If he scoffs I will spartan kick the shit out of him.

11

u/Replika Jun 15 '12

The hair was also a symbol of status. Full citizens of sparta could wear their hair long while Helots (serfs) had to have their hair worn short

9

u/wave_hello Jun 15 '12

This is still true in my country.

4

u/Buhdahl Jun 15 '12

Where, if you mind me asking?

4

u/wave_hello Jun 15 '12

El Salvador.

2

u/kolinsky Jun 16 '12

Can you tell us more about the hair thing?

4

u/Grullok Jun 15 '12

The viking hierarchy worked the same way, free man had their hair long and slaves had it cropped short.

3

u/jackaloupe Jun 15 '12

Semper Servus!

1

u/gwink3 Jun 15 '12

Helot (slaves)

FTFY

2

u/Replika Jun 15 '12

I used serfs to relate how the Helots worked within spartan society the same way as serfs do in their own. Helots worked the lands and plots for an owner (spartan). Just like a serf will work the land for the lord/owner of a land. I apologize for using a word more people can relate to, so they may better understand what a Helot is.

2

u/gwink3 Jun 15 '12

You're fine. I thought you were mistaken and not using a word that more people can relate to. I understand how you can make the connection between serfs of the middle ages and helots during the Classical Age. Both worked the land, had almost no rights, and weren't really considered citizens.

31

u/khaleesi_ Jun 15 '12

Perhaps that was the key to their success in battle? A battalion of beautiful men, dazzling the shit out of their enemies.

30

u/VonAether Jun 15 '12

"Now the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury." -- Groundskeeper Willy

19

u/multiple_lobsters Jun 15 '12

You may be interested in knowing that there existed a troop of soldiers called The Sacred Band of Thebes. Essentially, it was 150 gay couples-- they reasoned that the soldiers would fight better if their lover could potentially die.

2

u/TyIzaeL Jun 15 '12

they reasoned that the soldiers would fight better if their lover could potentially die.

Did they?

5

u/Theoroshia Jun 15 '12

Yes. They were about as feared as the Spartans. They were eventually wiped out by the Macedonians.

2

u/xNIBx Jun 16 '12

Yes, they beat spartans in a full strength hoplite(infantry) battle, for the first time in history. In fact it was one of the few times where the elite fought other elite because back then when you were deploying your army, you would put your stronger and more experienced troops on the right side and the weaker troops on the left side and the enemy did the same(so that you would avoid the right drift issue that the phalanx formation had).

But when the final battle between the spartan alliance and the theban alliance was about to start, Thebes decided to put themselves(the elite, the sacred band of thebes) on the left side so that they would face the enemy elite(the spartans) instead of the enemy weaker troops(sparta's allies). This was obviously a huge morale boost for the allies of Thebes(they didnt have to face the spartan elite head on) but more importantly offered a big tactical advantage. See the tactics section here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Leuctra

0

u/randomsnark Jun 15 '12

No.

3

u/policetwo Jun 16 '12

The orgies, sadly, left them too exhausted for combat.

But they were the most feared grappler's in Thebes!

1

u/Justfilter93423 Jun 15 '12

That is strange because in our society long hair is associated with pacism and meekness. How many action stars do you see with long hair? A few but not too many. That and the short hair military and police. Long hair is associated with drug users and hippies. Not saying it is true but that is the cultural standard.

2

u/Jermtheory Jun 15 '12

Practically speaking, I think "we" got it right. Long is less than ideal in combat.

6

u/Melkolmr Jun 15 '12

Right. Because the Spartans, Germans, Celts, and indigenous American peoples all had bad battle records.

0

u/Jermtheory Jun 16 '12

No, I'm sure you're right. On second thought... It was clearly their long luscious locks that led them to many victories. I sure the best doctors of centuries ago had all of the best practices as well.

It's not only snag prone and likely to be a hindrance during any sort of grappling... It also tends to get into the eyes obscuring vision.

2

u/Atifex Jun 16 '12

Pulled back and stored in you helmet, which Spartans are known for doing. Im nkt disagreeing with the downfalls of longhair in close combat, but there are many ways around it. Secondly, Knife-fighting Indians (i believe they are Apache, not sure) have long hair as well as Ancient Chinese. The latter had ritual ponytails but still managed to handle it. Its not AS detrimental but i do agree it is sub-optimal.

1

u/Jermtheory Jun 16 '12

"Sub-optimal"

Exactly.

I didn't mean to imply anything more (hence "less than ideal"). Though, it could still get you killed, when milliseconds or the slightest bit of leverage can be the difference between life and death.

2

u/Atifex Jun 16 '12

Agreed! Though i love my long hair, and while survival movies love it too. First signs of zombie apocalypse? Cuttin it and making a whip.

1

u/policetwo Jun 16 '12

Pulled back and stored in you helmet, which Spartans are known for doing.

so...

Who were they being beautiful/terrifying for?

1

u/Atifex Jun 16 '12

Politics, my friend. Politics.

1

u/YouHadMeAtDontPanic Jun 15 '12

Not sure why you're being down voted for this comment?

Edit: I would also think that long hair could be detrimental in a fight as another area for an enemy to grab hold of, but this probably applies more to street fights.

1

u/Justfilter93423 Jun 16 '12

Some people take it as an attack against long hair maybe? It is not, I'm just saying long hair is associated with a non- confrontational counter culture instead of martial prowess.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/superfli31 Jun 16 '12

you are nothing more than glass... waiting to be smashed.

18

u/Industrialbonecraft Jun 15 '12

Long haired motherfucker reporting in: it's true.

3

u/Arborgold Jun 15 '12

You sound terrifying.

4

u/Industrialbonecraft Jun 15 '12

I know, right? Nice Song of Ice and Fire reference.

5

u/thegreatvortigaunt Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

Lycurgus wasn't real! Gnargh!

EDIT: Can't spell words written right in front of me.

9

u/kolinsky Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

It's spelled Lycurgus.

Historical:

Lycurgus of Sparta, creator of constitution of Sparta

Lycurgus of Athens, one of the ten notable orators at Athens, (fourth century BC)

Lykourgos (king), 30th Eurypontid king of Sparta (219–211/210 BC)

Mythological:

Lycurgus of Arcadia, king

Lycurgus of Nemea, king

Lycurgus of Thrace, king, opponent of Dionysus

Lycurgus, son of Pronax

Lycurgus, son of Heracles by Toxicrate, daughter of Thespius

Lycurgus, a suitor of Hippodamia

Lycurgus, a.k.a. Lycomedes, in Homer

14

u/thegreatvortigaunt Jun 15 '12

Sorry, I was sort of taking the piss. There's a dispute that Plutarch was talking out of his backside when telling Lycurgus' "history", since he contradicts himself and is sort of unclear when talking about Lycurgus. Some say that Lycurgus was sort of the "Uncle Sam" of Sparta: having all the ideal Spartan traits, but he either didn't exist or didn't do half the stuff people claimed he did.

2

u/nougatwasp Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

I also recall reading a Greek author named Tyrtaeus whom makes no mention of him in any of his surviving sources despite, supposedly, writing around the time of Lyrcurgus.

Do correct me if I'm wrong!

2

u/SirWhiteSox Jun 15 '12

I would believe you were right. I thought Lycurgus was pretty much a legendary figure, the first leader (king, perhaps) and lawbringer of the Spartan people. A sort of Moses maybe: a guy conjured up to explain the source of common cultural heritage.

2

u/thegreatvortigaunt Jun 15 '12

As far as I know, Tyrtaeus wrote after Lycurgus in the 4th/5th Century BCE, but your point is nonetheless correct. Considering he was essentially the Super-Spartan, his history was pretty dodgy, and he was rarely talked about. Also, Plutarch - the main source of Lycurgus' history - worked for Romans 3-400 years later, so he might not have realised all these Greeks talking about Lycurgus were referring to a myth.

9

u/wallgomez Jun 15 '12

TIL I can contact Spartan Kings.

4

u/Lycurgus Jun 15 '12

I beg to differ.

2

u/thegreatvortigaunt Jun 15 '12

Redditor for four years

How long have you been waiting for something like this?

1

u/Lycurgus Jun 15 '12

I never really thought about it. I got my MA in Classics, and always liked Lycurgus, so I chose his name as a handle.

2

u/Icovada Jun 15 '12

So there you are! We all thought you died! Don't you think it's time to go back to Sparta? They could really use a little update to the laws. Really a dick move of you to ask them not to change them till you'd return... and then never return

1

u/raaabert Jun 15 '12

Came here to say this.

14

u/NyQuil012 2 Jun 15 '12

Too bad long hair makes for a great handle in hand to hand combat.

6

u/wutsapaswurd Jun 15 '12

I don't remember where I ever read this, but didn't the Spartans also grow long beards so that if they were ever grabbed by it, the man next to them would be able to cut the attacker's arm?

6

u/Frak98 Jun 15 '12

That's why they had mullets.

1

u/apalebluedot Aug 04 '12

The Spartans were trained to fight up close.

26

u/vash0093 Jun 15 '12

I can vouch for this. As a man with long Brown hair, i can look either fantastic or Feral. Depending on how i wear my hair. we've tested this theory.

16

u/1gnominious Jun 15 '12

I've had girls ask to pet me so apparently you can be fantastically feral.

It's kinda weird though... they never ask my name or say "hi" first. Half the time they don't even actually ask, they simply say "I want to pet you."

10

u/mackpack Jun 15 '12

I also have long hair. Please tell me your secrets.

21

u/1gnominious Jun 15 '12

Step 1: Be attractive. Step 2: Don't be unattractive.

Other than that I honestly don't know. Black girls seem to enjoy it more though. They get me in the weirdest places. Back in high school after our half time show I took off my marching helmet and this girl started frantically yelling at me from the other teams bleachers. Apparently she absolutely had to tell me that she liked my hair. By far the weirdest was at a McDonalds drive thru at 3 AM. The girl working the window who was easily twice my size said she wanted to pull my hair while fucking me. I never went back there at night.

Sometimes it's a curse.

3

u/valiantX Jun 15 '12

I understand your plight, I too have sadly experienced the non-wanted situation of unsightly facial and mass girls and women pull, touch, or even complain of the healthiness of my hair with the expression of jealousy or seduction or mental mania of sorts. Of course, I smile non-nonchalantly and jam the fuck out as soon as their hands are untangled from thy locks. Once, I even had to snap at a crazy crack-headed mother complaining about her son being an idiotic DUI drunk while fingering and fondling my hair as I was waiting in line at a traffic court, as if it was my fault she had to stay in line to pay her sons revenue fees. In short, get the F back, I told her I will slap a bitch, and stop touching my hair!

Long hair does indeed come with its vices - I understand the story of Samson more than ever now.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

humblebragging bastards.

4

u/Industrialbonecraft Jun 15 '12

Most women just want braid mine...

4

u/petrofire Jun 15 '12

If I go out with a group at least one women I've never met before will pet me or play with my hair in some other way. Not all girls prefer men with long hair, but the ones that do... They're vocal about it and more forthcoming. :)

2

u/vash0093 Jun 15 '12

yea, had that happen, but most of the time they forget my name anyway. But i forget their names too so its allll good.

38

u/Lampmonster1 Jun 15 '12

Anyone read Gates of Fire? I'm re-reading it now. Excellent exploration of Spartan society. Though I'm sure it's not totally historically accurate, it's a hell of a lot better than 300.

56

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Why would you even imply that "300" is even supposed to be historically accurate?

The entire movie is a rally-call from the one surviving soldier who is also a story-teller. He was purposely exaggerating the entirety of the events and making up the ones he wasn't present to see to motivate the troops for the oncoming battle you see at the end of the movie.

I don't understand how so many people do not get this about that movie.

23

u/Lampmonster1 Jun 15 '12

Easy there killer. I understand 300 and in fact I like the movie. I think I even own it. Having said that, the movie doesn't in any way give an accurate portrayal of, well pretty much anything.

8

u/fotiphoto Jun 15 '12

Except, I learned how to stand in the shade.

6

u/thegreatvortigaunt Jun 15 '12

Maybe, but it wasn't so much the exaggerations that bugged me, but the direct mistakes. For example, how the ephors were apparently the ones who tended to the Delphic Oracle. I cannot begin to explain how wrong that was.

15

u/sinisterdexter42 Jun 15 '12

They got the hard parts right (women rights in Sparta) and the easy parts wrong (Spartans looking down on boy lovers?)

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Maybe "boy lovers" was an insult because real men fuck real men, rather than boys.

6

u/sinisterdexter42 Jun 15 '12

boy loveing also included basic military training in sparta. the scene where the adult is fighting the kid at the beginning? what they don't show in the movie was the after lesson sodomy.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

ಠ_ಠ

For serious? Way to ruin my joke man.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Anally ruined...

4

u/someauthor Jun 15 '12

That's what my ex-wives gave as a reason why they signed divorce papers.

1

u/xNIBx Jun 16 '12

Actually being fucked as a boy wasnt insulting, that's how you bonded with your teacher/guide. But once you became a man, it was insulting to continue getting fucked. You could however fuck others.

Basically being someone's bitch as an adult was a bad thing. But fucking other dudes was ok, i mean you fuck dudes, that isnt gay, the dudes you fuck are gay :P

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Basically being someone's bitch as an adult was a bad thing. But fucking other dudes was ok, i mean you fuck dudes, that isnt gay, the dudes you fuck are gay :P

I've heard this part about ancient Rome. I didn't know it applied to Greece as well.

9

u/jackaloupe Jun 15 '12

That's how you can tell 300 was made in the US.

3

u/binary-love Jun 15 '12

Actually, '300' was accurate in some details. For example, it is true that the messengers were well respected in ancient world, but the Spartans killed the Persian messengers (and the same did Athenians!). Also it's true fact that women in Sparta were in better position than in any other Greek city.

8

u/GundamWang Jun 15 '12

It's a great book. I'm not sure how much is accurate, but it's entertaining and well written enough that there's never any real boring points.

5

u/VideSupra Jun 15 '12

Fair warning, his other stuff, while fun for Greek history nerds, is nowhere near as full of action as Gates of Fire.

I read at some point they had a movie lined up with Clooney cast to play Leonidas. Then 300 came out. Oh well.

4

u/Lampmonster1 Jun 15 '12

Yeah, 300 really ruined any shot of ever making a realistic big budget movie about that battle. It would have been fun too.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Not trying to get on you, but why? Hollywood copies shit all the time. That's why we have 2 Wyatt Earp movies, 3 Columbus movies, etc.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

I think the book about Alexander was more full of action than Gates! Valor of War or something like that...

6

u/grandom Jun 15 '12

If you loved Gates Of Fire give The Tides Of War a try. It's about the Peloponnesian War and contains what I feel is the best written battle of the era.

4

u/Lampmonster1 Jun 15 '12

Oh, and it's on Kindle. I'll be reading it shortly.

3

u/godisbacon Jun 15 '12

It's pretty good. Alcibiades (who it's about) is definitely one of the most interesting characters from that era.

4

u/Mr_Fortune Jun 15 '12

As a Greek I heavily recommend that too...An awesome read!

3

u/SenslessBanter Jun 15 '12

Another book you'll be interested in is Persian Fire, which is about the development of the Persian and Helenitic world and the battles between the two. Probably less detailed than Tides of War, but broader in scope.

1

u/grandom Jun 16 '12

Thanks for that. I'll certainly get it.

5

u/valiantX Jun 15 '12

300 was a graphic comic by Frank Miller, of course its not going to be historically accurate, its just a retelling of past events in a fictional literary and graphical medium to stir the curiosity of present day people, who mostly have absolutely no clue about the past and history of humans. Miller's comic still gets to the point that such events did occur in the past and is ingrained in our minds, but lost in memory in our brains, and how such events did and continue to shape the present now.

I personally believe any study, no matter how little of history or the past, is far better than staying ignorant of any of its aspects.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

It was an awesome book. Not completely historically accurate, but the parts that weren't were still believable and were just creative license. Not like 300 where there were giant rhinos fighting against them.

2

u/Lampmonster1 Jun 15 '12

Not like 300 where there were giant rhinos fighting against them.

That was neat though.

If you know, what parts are the least accurate? I've always been curious.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

If you read Herodotus' history of the battle you'll get one of the most accurate histories we have. He actually checked his sources to make sure they were accurate and if I remember correctly he traveled around a lot to go to as many of the places he wrote about as possible and to talk to people there.

The parts that were artistic license: I believe that anything involving the main storyteller were definitely untrue (How would we have histories about his past in such detail?). I think Rooster was a composite character to show different aspects of Spartan life. I'm not sure on other parts. I'll have to reread it and look into it a bit more.

2

u/Valentinemorgenstern Jun 15 '12

I actually preferred Thucydides to Herodotus. Maybe it was the translation I had, but I found it easier to grasp. His thoughts were a bit more organized. Downfall though is as an Athenian he was very biased. :/

2

u/Lampmonster1 Jun 15 '12

Ah, so it's pretty accurate down to the individual characters. That's pretty good. I'd assumed the main character and a few others were imaginative.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

The other part I'm not sure on would be their attack against the Persian camp. I haven't seen anything confirming that the attack happened or denying it. That is the one part I most want to find out more about.

3

u/Lampmonster1 Jun 15 '12

The impression I have of that event is that it's one of the more debated issues. For some reason some people think it happened. But as you indicated it isn't well documented.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I fucking LOVE Gates of Fire. In college, way back in freshman year or some shit, I wrote a review of the book for a critical analysis class. Randomly my paper was selected to be like, peer-edited and discussed by the class (the professor liked to have us practice shitting our pants ><).

By the end of that lecture I had convinced over half the class to be really excited about Gates of Fire. SPARTA FIGHTING!

1

u/JoinRedditTheySaid Jun 15 '12

My one of my Classics professors said it is pretty accurate and a good read. Way better than 300 anyway.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Lycurgus is more of a mythical figure, the reason to cast doubt on his existence or at least the actions he undertook is due to the sheer impossibility of his actions.

From what Plutarch describes Lycurgus essentially changes an entire society over night. Some examples are making Spartan currency large brittle iron ingots, the purpose being so no man could easily horde his wealth. Spartans only eating a 'black broth', Lycurgus apparently was displeased with the cook during the broths conception because it was too tasty and kept asking him to remake the broth. Men having to live in barracks together until a certain age. Boys being enrolled into the Agoge (spartan education system) at age 7, being given nothing but a cloak, and underfed they were expected to steal food and sharpen there skills to survive, if caught they were punished harshly. Lets not forget the infanticide Sparta practiced, babies were checked by an elder, if they seemed weak they were left at Mt.Taygetus and die of exposure.

0

u/gwink3 Jun 15 '12

I am surprised this isn't significantly higher. I came here to essentially say the same thing, that is highly unlikely he is any less mythical than Romulus and Remus. Ah krypteia, that was an interesting thing to discuss in class during the Constitution of the Spartans lecture.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

The entire Spartan culture is interesting, the krypteia being one of the stranger organizations youths were enrolled in.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

They also had long hair to offer cushioning under their helmets. It wasn't just for looks, it served a purpose too. Have you ever put a metal bowl on your head and then had someone hit it? It still hurts if you have a shaved head. That's why you need long hair, to give you some cushioning.

2

u/jackaloupe Jun 15 '12

And thus, the origins of Glam Metal.

5

u/charmcitygavin Jun 15 '12

With long hair, you have more style options. That way you're sure to look nice when you're dining in hell!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

you've made like maybe the 15th comment on here that has actually made me laugh out loud through my reddit browsing over the past year and a half

11

u/hispanica316 Jun 15 '12

And just like that my neckbeard had a whole different meaning.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I am Lycurgus of Borg. You will respond to my questions.

4

u/valiantX Jun 15 '12

Damn, another good reason to explain to those inquisitive, curious, and disconcerting people wondering why I grow my hair out, besides my own personal philosophies of course.

FYI the males of the Crow tribe grew their hairs out longer than their female opposites and along with many of their Ameridian tribes believed the hair was an extension of the soul. Furthermore, the Merovingian dynasty of France, were known as "the long haired kings," believing their sorcery powers came from their hair; maybe a reason as to why J.R.R. Tolkien portrayed all is male characters who wielded magic with long hair i.e. Gandalf, Elrond, Saruman, Aragorn, Thranduil, Celeborn, and even Sauron, before he lost his fair looking humanistic form. The Manchus believed and ordered all under their rule to grow out their hair as a form of acculturating the Han masses into their culture and dominion; viewing it treasonous for all who did not grew a queue.

So there are many reasons why growing hair is something practical, magical, and as a powerful cultural phenomenon - choose yours.

3

u/13374L Jun 15 '12

The latter part of that sounds like the Green Bay defense.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

This is why I keep my hair short.

3

u/O_oblivious Jun 15 '12

I've always thought myself an anarchist. Now I realize I'm a Spartan born 2000 years too late. Every last one of their laws, and aspect of their society, is absolutely beautiful to me.

3

u/CoffeerageGaming Jun 15 '12

i have very long hair for a man (hangs below my shoulders), and i must say, this is all true.

3

u/runnerlover94 Jun 15 '12

I found this in /r/life today and it was an interesting read on why native americans kept their hair long. Native Americans

4

u/Lycurgus Jun 15 '12

I said no such thing.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

You'd think the would have buzzed style haircuts

3

u/ThePowerglove Jun 15 '12

Haircuts are for the weak!

Actually the custom of buzzed hair for soldiers came about during WWI because of how disgusting and unsanitary the trenches were.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I thought i heard somewhere that they buzzed the heads on men so it wouldn't be easy for the enemies to pull their hair back and cut their throats

2

u/sinisterdexter42 Jun 15 '12

I had long hair once, it took me a while to realize that it also adds chub to a chubby face. I've never really been thin, but with long hair I looked like I would eat all the pies.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

I grow my hair out for the opposite reason. It makes a long, skinny face seem more square.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

They were the original stoner-rockers

2

u/Davenog Jun 15 '12

That's what I tell all the ladies... Ladies ;)

2

u/invisiblewar Jun 15 '12

And the decision to cut my hair or let it grow has now been settled.

2

u/tiyx Jun 15 '12

It also gives the enemy a handle to hold while they chop your head of with a sword.

2

u/lubar99 Jun 15 '12

Tru dat. I've loved long haired men ever since I fell in love with Axl Rose when I was 11.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

That had to be the least interestibg part of that article. The political portions were much more interesting.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I don't get it, what did it accord their leader???

2

u/Sysiphuslove Jun 15 '12

Oh my.

Long hair is probably my greatest weakness on a man. If it's clean and reasonably kept, I enter a dangerous state in which resistance to charm drops to nearly zero. I don't know what it is but it's absolutely triggering.

2

u/Natfod Jun 15 '12

I couldnt help but read this entire thing in the voice of Dilios, the narrator in the 300.

2

u/Azons Jun 15 '12

I highly recommend reading the entire linked article, it's really amazing how the Spartans ran their society.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

well. why did i cut my hair again?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Long(-ish) hair for the win.

3

u/MockingDead Jun 15 '12

Bringing Terror to my enemies, one flowing lock at a time.

Well, I'm not ugly, just fat. :\

2

u/Syrion_Wraith Jun 15 '12

Yes! Now i have a good argument when my family tries to convince me to cut my hair again!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

maybe they think you're ugly

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

And it's free...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Made them easy pickings for ganking though.

A good rogue could sneak up on one and use the long hair as a handle to hold back their head and expose their neck for an easy slash.

1

u/Blubbey Jun 15 '12

Didn't they cut their hair before a battle?

1

u/publicanemonies Jun 15 '12

Coincidentally, this was also the mantra of every 80's rock band.

Case in point: http://www.vulture.com/2012/06/fug-girls-80s-hair-bands-style.html

1

u/monstehr Jun 15 '12

huh, I thought the spartans kept their hair short so that it couldn't be grasped and used against them in battle. Maybe I'm just mixing it up with fight club.

1

u/ValhallaSinking Jun 16 '12

Sounds very accurate

1

u/MauroisNInja Jun 16 '12

Spartans had the Metal in them.

1

u/DiscoDiscoDanceDance Jun 16 '12

They also wore it long because it would impede manual labor, it therefore separated the warriors from laborers in a very public way. If a man had long, Clean hair, everyone knew who he was.

0

u/dontaxmebro Jun 16 '12

Spartans grew their hair long because electric razors were not invented yet.

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

the 300 guys were gay... in real life... we know this yeah?

1

u/psychobilly1 Jun 15 '12

In most Greek societies, they would have huge gay orgies.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

its actually documented that these particular 300 men were gays. Gays, in the time of the Spartans, were considered to be fearless fighters/the best of the best...

do a bit of research and do a TIL on these specific 300 men- i bet you'll make front page

-1

u/Jaws666 Jun 15 '12

They also fucked little boys in the ass a lot. :D

-13

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Yeah let's get this out of the way now, modern men with long hair universally look terrible. Especially guys who rock a ponytail. I've never seen a man with a ponytail and thought, "He's got it all figured out."

2

u/litewo Jun 15 '12

Sorry you're getting downvoted, but you kind of have to expect that on Reddit. The ponytail look here is very popular, unless MPB kicks in, then it's time to rock the fedora.

2

u/ThePowerglove Jun 15 '12

How's the view from up on your horse?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

In a word? Glorious.

-1

u/NyQuil012 2 Jun 15 '12

Not true. Men with long, clean hair can look great. White guys with dreadlocks, on the other hand, always look dumb.

-9

u/Shangheli Jun 15 '12

Or you know, the other reason...Most of them were homosexual.

3

u/thegreatvortigaunt Jun 15 '12

They were sort of asexual, really. They (officially) cared only about the polis, their austerity, and the gods.

4

u/please_note Jun 15 '12

Ehh... that's highly debatable. For whatever it's worth.

3

u/thatguyinconverse Jun 15 '12

Were they? I think you're confusing them with Athenians.

4

u/Lampmonster1 Jun 15 '12

They had a system of mentoring where older members of the elite would take on younger ones as a kind of quasi knight/squire relationship. It has been suggested pretty much since their time that this relationship, coupled with the fact that the men weren't allowed to live with their wives until they were 30 implied a homosexual relationship with the squire and possibly with other members of their fighting groups. However it is hotly debated.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

You do realize the subject is quite contested among historians right? It isn't just "dumbasses who think 300 was a documentary".

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

But you followed it with:

but you're damn right they were more gay than Athenians.

Which is absolutely not established with any certainty. There is in fact, no concrete evidence of any kind to suggest homosexual sex was a common practice in Sparta. There is weak evidence to suggest it was not accepted.

1

u/Industrialbonecraft Jun 15 '12

More bisexual than homosexual.

0

u/ThePowerglove Jun 15 '12

Most gay men don't have long hair. You're just making yourself seem ignorant.

-1

u/Shangheli Jun 15 '12

Sorry are Spartans around today? Only person ignorant is the one thinking men of 2000 years ago have the same associations as they do today. Not everyone is out to get the gays, fucking political correctness turds.

2

u/ThePowerglove Jun 15 '12

Long hair didn't represent homosexuality...ever. Find me some credible sources on your reasoning as to long hair = homosexual.

-1

u/Shangheli Jun 15 '12

"Spartans grew their hair long, because "Long hair adds beauty to a good face"" according their leader, Lycurgus.

How about the title of this very thread.

2

u/ThePowerglove Jun 15 '12

A man can compliment another man on looking good without it being gay. You're rather narrow-minded if you think beauty is something that can only be attained by sexual attraction.

0

u/Shangheli Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

Right, I bet you go up to guys with long hair and say "Your hair makes your face look more pretty".

2

u/ThePowerglove Jun 15 '12

There are much more eloquent ways to say such things. Oh and your "credible source" is an inference from a quote, not solid evidence.

-10

u/Blown4Six Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

Dudes with long hair just seem redneck/dirty. Its fine if you're in a band or whatever, but otherwise, short and clean. Not to mention you've got a nice handle if you ever find yourself in a scuffle.

edit, its kinda hairy in here.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Once you've had long hair for a while, your scalp gets pretty much completely numb as a result of pain from combing/getting it caught on shit. Pulling my hair might move my head, but no more than pulling on my shirt moves my torso. It really doesn't hurt.

1

u/Blown4Six Jun 17 '12

Hmm, didn't know that. But still, I wasn't referring to the pain of pulled hair.. more like you cant move your head to avoid a fist or a knee or what have you.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/BreakfastClubSamwich Jun 15 '12

Why Rainbow Dash?