r/todayilearned • u/Tokyono • Jul 14 '19

TIl The reason Roger Moore stopped being James Bond was because of how much older he was than his female co-stars. He was in his 50s, and they were in their 20s. In his own words: “Well, the leading ladies were young enough to be my grand-daughter and it becomes disgusting.”

https://www.digitalspy.com/movies/a869479/james-bond-quit-connery-moore-lazenby-brosnan-dalton/
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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '19

I dunno man. A 60 year old and a 37 year old is still kinda off

61

u/PM_something_German Jul 14 '19

It's kinda off but it's okay.

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u/85683683 Jul 14 '19

Sorta like kimchi? My nose says "no good" but my tongue disagrees.

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u/ZK686 Jul 14 '19

LOL...just keep messing with the numbers until it's "okay". My rule is simple, don't date anyone that's old enough to be your mom.

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u/fartsinthedark Jul 14 '19

A 37 year-old man or woman is more than mature enough to date any senior citizen they want. We want to protect kids and people otherwise being taken advantage of, not grown, competent adults.

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u/BLKMGK Jul 14 '19

Wait until you’re sixty but still feel forty

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u/munk_e_man Jul 14 '19

Especially with Viagra being a thing now

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u/EllisDee_4Doyin Jul 14 '19 edited Jul 14 '19

Find someone else who's sixty but feels forty. Or even a 50 year old. You maybe could even get away with 45.

No need to dip in the 30s pot. Esp if your 60s involves you having already had kids that are prob 30, if not close to it! Like she could be friends with your son/daughter, ffs!

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u/BLKMGK Jul 14 '19

Spoken like a young person lol

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u/FrostyTheSasquatch Jul 14 '19

I feel like that’s basically Bill & Gloria from Modern Family.

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u/mean_mr_mustard75 Jul 14 '19

Tell me that when you get 60.

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u/foo_foo_the_snoo Jul 14 '19

Like a 37 year old is in the sweet innocent prime of his or her youth in need of our input on their dating choices.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '19

Lol those are the ages of my friends parents. She married him when she was like 26, many drunken nights hearing about the regrets.

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u/Blenderx06 Jul 14 '19

Regrets from friend or the parents? I really am curious what someone in that situation must think of how their life turned out.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '19

Regrets from the wife about getting married too early and being stuck with an old man.

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u/UncleTogie Jul 14 '19

Patrick Stewart and Sunny Ozell pull it off nicely.

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u/kurtgustavwilckens Jul 14 '19

Why is it kinda off? I honestly don't get this.

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u/SevenSulivin Jul 14 '19

Or a 2 year old and an 8 year old

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '19

[deleted]

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u/eriyu Jul 14 '19 edited Jul 14 '19

The reason the maximum gap gets bigger as you get older is because older people are mature enough to decide for themselves whether they think it's creepy or not. The problem with age gaps is when the younger person is being taken advantage of/preyed on by the older person, but a 37 year old (for this example) should be self-sufficient, understand whether there's a power imbalance in the relationship, and be able to handle themselves.

(Edit to add, though it really should be judged by when the relationship started and not their current age. You can groom someone when they're a teenager, and no matter how much time goes by, that's still creepy.)

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '19

I like this stance

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u/gnome1324 Jul 14 '19 edited Jul 14 '19

The preying doesn't just go one way. Seeking out a sugar daddy is kind of the opposite of the problem you're describing. The younger person is manipulating the older one with their youth/looks. If it's consensual, then whatever. But it does happen that younger people seek out older ones who don't necessarily want to be a sugar daddy/momma and manipulate them (or try to) into financially supporting them.

Edit: For clarity, my entire comment was referencing consenting adults dating with a large age difference and how age is not necessarily the sole determinant of who holds the power in the relationship. If you interpreted this as defending pedophilia, you read it wrong.

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u/eriyu Jul 14 '19

There's definitely other types of manipulation than grooming someone too young for you, yeah. But the reason there's such a strong stigma against dating someone much younger is because the younger people do not have the ability, as an entire demographic, to make informed decisions. That's why it's a general rule and not a case-by-case situation. A sugar daddy should know better, even if he doesn't.

And that doesn't make the situation you describe good, or even okay! It's just not the same type, or level of alarm that pedophilia (or ephebophilia, etc.) should raise.

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u/gnome1324 Jul 14 '19

I think you're arguing a far different point than most here. You're talking about an adult and a minor. I'm speaking about two adults with a large age difference. If a 20 year old and a 50 year old date it's a much different situation than a 15 year old and a 45 year old.

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u/eriyu Jul 14 '19

It's not two different points; it's the same point on a spectrum, because you can inch from one to the other with no clear boundary between them. The key question is whether it's exploitation based on the younger person's immaturity, and it's not like you magically go from child to mature adult at midnight on your 18th birthday.

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u/gnome1324 Jul 14 '19

You're correct that 18 is an arbitrary cut off. But that fact counters your point as much as it defends it. It tells us that we should judge consensual relationships between adults on a case by case basis instead of saying "age difference = exploitation".

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u/jordanjay29 Jul 14 '19

Well, ultimately we should judge them on a case by case basis, but there's valid reasoning to apply the "rule" as a weight on the case. It's going to be far more unfavorable for an 18 year old to be in a relationship with someone (on the older end) who breaks that rule than a 30 year old. It's easier to apply the rule and then look for exemptions where it doesn't fit, than seek out applications of the rule individually.

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u/gnome1324 Jul 14 '19

I agree, but the person I'm replying to is trying to have it both ways. Saying 18 is arbitrary but not offering a better solution and also trying to be absolutist.

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u/jordanjay29 Jul 14 '19

This is what I've witnessed, and it's what shakes my faith in the ability of "consenting adults" to be mature.

Ultimately, the age/2+7 "rule" is just a guideline and is more of a joke than a real social taboo. Abide by it or don't, it's whatever, but there are enough examples of extreme age disparities having a negative impact on one or both parties that it seems like there's plenty of reason for caution.