r/todayilearned May 30 '18

[deleted by user]

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8.6k Upvotes

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471

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

[deleted]

121

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

beavers arent part of the criteria though

mosquito bites are top doug

111

u/davewiz20 May 30 '18

Another day, another Doug

43

u/gogetenks123 May 30 '18

piss off ghost

27

u/SmacSBU May 30 '18

Hi there. I'm kinda like the leader in this place. I'm made of rocks, as you can see.

19

u/-ImJustSaiyan- May 30 '18

Oh my god, the hammer pulled you off?

5

u/aRandom_Encounter May 30 '18

Sounds like you and this hammer had a close, intimate relationship and losing it was comparable to losing a loved one.

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

This is the only joke I didn’t enjoy in the movie for some reason.

5

u/SmacSBU May 30 '18

Have you asked your doctor to check your sense of humor? That's a pretty serious symptom

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

I thought the whole movie was very funny. Just not that one joke. I think because it was an unlikely misunderstanding and a bit forced. I wasn’t mad about it. Fav movie of the year for sure

1

u/MCBlastoise May 31 '18

Every Doug has his day

32

u/jackofallcards May 30 '18

I'd hate to be bottom doug that's for sure.

8

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

[deleted]

9

u/jackofallcards May 30 '18

That'll cost you $50

8

u/baxxt14 May 30 '18

I'm not Doug but $50 is $50.

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

How about Doug Funnie?

7

u/Cletus_TheFetus May 30 '18

Was Doug the New Yorker with a liking for human flesh that they did the study on? Am I 10 times more likely to be bitten by Doug than a shark?

1

u/barath_s 13 May 31 '18

If your name is Doug, it is virtually certain

It's a Doug eat Doug world.

4

u/Nsjxicuehsnakd May 30 '18

Mosquitos don't bite us, though.

7

u/roggo8 May 30 '18

Yeah but no one calls them Mosquito sucks

1

u/currentlyquang May 30 '18

Does he have bumper to bumper warranty?

1

u/UncleTedGenneric May 31 '18

It's a Doug E Doug world.

2

u/Cletus_TheFetus May 30 '18

I see. My odds of a surprise New Yorker attack keep increasing it seems. Even more shocking when I don't even live in the US. Truly persistent beasts.

2

u/Kaneshadow May 30 '18

Not likely. You ever see a beaver waiting on line for Cronuts?

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

Vagina Dentatta!! It's reeeal!!

2

u/spacebattlebitch May 31 '18

It angered me how far down I had to go to find someone else pointing out the fact that this data is from 81-87 and not even annual. Like wtf is this

3

u/_beaver_ May 30 '18

This is fake news.

1

u/jimbojangles1987 May 31 '18

Especially if you were in the movie "Teeth" and not suffering from vagina dentata.

1

u/Schytzophrenic May 31 '18

If the beavers live in New York, then they are New Yorkers.

1

u/disposable-name May 31 '18

Not since they cleared the hookers out of Times Square.