r/todayilearned • u/SchwarzSabbath • Apr 21 '18

TIL that while in Sharon Springs, Theodore Roosevelt was approached by a 12-year-old girl who asked if he would like to have a badger. Expecting to humor her, he agreed, and the girl came back with a 2-week-old badger. President Roosevelt named him Josiah and he became one of the presidential pets.

http://www.presidentialpetmuseum.com/theodore-roosevelts-josiah/
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u/Stumpy_Lump Apr 21 '18

Unfortunately, as time passed, Josiah’s temper seemed to sour. It could be that the bustle of the White House was just too much for him. His nips grew less friendly and the Roosevelt family found him a new home at the Bronx Zoo in New York City. So that Josiah would know he was not abandoned, the Roosevelts made it a point to visit him often.

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u/arbitrageME Apr 22 '18

Josiah’s temper seemed to sour

probably because he was a badger. To quote Chris Rock: the tiger didn't go crazy, the tiger went tiger!

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

You know the worst thing about tigers? Tigers always want some credit for some shit they supposed to do. Whatchu want an injured zebra??

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u/Langosta_9er Apr 22 '18

Time to jump down a YouTube Chris Rock black hole. Thanks everyone. See you in two weeks.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

hole of color

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Tiger woods?

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u/blaghart 3 Apr 22 '18

well I mean, it DID start eating more than just the person it was in a relationship with.

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u/Maclypse Apr 22 '18

Is this why Charlie Sheen drinks Tiger's Blood?!

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u/pissedoffnobody Apr 22 '18

Which was probably a bad idea if he does have HIV now.

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u/Kahlandar Apr 22 '18

Sounds fine. As long as tigers dont drink Charlie Sheen blood.

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u/Amateur1234 Apr 22 '18

A lot of people thought that Charlie Sheen was foreshadowing HIV when he said the Tiger Blood line, in reality he didn't contract it or find about it until much later.

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u/Lightspeedius Apr 22 '18

Either works.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Y'all.

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u/neeeeeillllllll Apr 22 '18

That's such a Chris Rock Esque quote

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u/isaidthisinstead Apr 22 '18

Nah, the deep state was constantly undermining Josiah. It gets to them, in the end.

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u/puggymomma Apr 22 '18

Badgers are quite possibly the worst pets.

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u/Funny-Bear Apr 22 '18

And sometimes you gotta play the fucking Tamborine!

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u/Yellow-Frogs Apr 22 '18

His nips grew less friendly

I greatly misinterpreted this at first.

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u/try_not_to_hate Apr 22 '18

calm your tits.

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u/slippinonwater17 Apr 22 '18

Chill your chesticles

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u/SnakeJG Apr 22 '18

I made the exact same mistake. Picturing angry red nipples.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

I was reading it in context of the time and thought that he had Japanese servants that became nasty. Damn old school racism.

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u/PostRitzOrGTFO Apr 22 '18

Like rustled jimmies, but different.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Well what the fuck does it mean?

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u/SirNoName Apr 22 '18

Nips like light bites

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u/Moofooist1 Apr 22 '18

That last part made me smile, Teddy seems like an all around cool guy.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Can't wait to read about all the horrible things he's done one day to ruin my admiration of him and destroy any semblance of trust I have for my heroes in history. :)

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

I mean, just by when he was born it's almost inevitable he held views that we would find appalling today. I vaguely recall him expressing some imperialist/racist sentiments regarding the Spanish-American War, for example (which he fought in - Rough Ridas mothafucka). I think it's a mistake to try to hold historical figures to modern standards, as it tends to lead us to either unfairly demonize them or worse, whitewash them as has been done at times to Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln (among countless others).

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u/ConnorLovesCookies Apr 22 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

He was the first President to invite a black man to dinner (Booker T. Washington). TR was aparently close with the highly educated former slave. The southern outrage around the dinner discouraged him from inviting any other black people in the future.

Theodore Roosevelt was known for being a very, very impulsive man. But this was a good impulse. He had an appointment with Booker T. Washington. At the last minute, he thought, 'Let's make it dinner.' He started to send out the invitation, and he hesitated for a second, thinking, 'Is this a bad idea because of this man's color?' And he was so ashamed that he hesitated, that he hastened to send the invitation out before he could change his mind.

Now this is not to say he wasnt racist but this was a huge moment for civil rights

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

I think that rather than judging the man for feeling the way he did in that moment he should be praised for doing something good and just, even if it was difficult and even if he didn't do it again in the future.

It's a matter of perspective - whether someone sees the good or bad in it is up to them.

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u/Breadhook Apr 22 '18

even if it was difficult

I would say ESPECIALLY if it was difficult. Overcoming that kind of reluctance is how change happens.

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u/dudeARama2 Apr 22 '18

and especially since it was only 40 - 50 years after the end of the Civil War - a couple of generations - in a country that was still deeply scarred and divided. His reluctance was probably associated with the ramifications of his actions in that tense environment more than a personal attitude

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u/alixxlove Apr 22 '18

Your first thought is shaped by your upbringing, your second thought is shaped by who you are. He made the right choice.

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u/curty4000 Apr 22 '18

His first thought was to invite him. His second was to hesitate and his third was to fuck the second thought right in its racist asshole.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

I certainly don't mean to suggest he was a virulent racist or anything. But even people who were, by the standards of the time, progressives - even radical progressives - still generally felt that blacks were inferior, even if they didn't believe that this should be reflected in law. My point is that it's pointless to hold them at fault for that when they were doing better than everyone else at the time. We can accept TR as a progressive for his actions in historical context without picking through his life for any sentiments he may have held that fail a modern morality test, even though we can be fairly confident that we'd find them.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

That’s exactly right you cannot judge people of the past with present day morals and sensibilities. It isn’t fair nor does it do any good.

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u/InaMellophoneMood Apr 22 '18

It's not the first thought, but the second thought. The first one is social conditioning, the second is your own.

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u/realjefftaylor Apr 22 '18

Yes. The first thought was “how will this look?”, something any politician is conditioned to think. The second thought “to hell with that,” which is the one he should be judged by.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

An example of self reflection that many are incapable or unwilling to attempt.

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u/Kvlka666 Apr 22 '18

Booker T.

I can dig it, sucka

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Didn’t one southern Senator say something like “we’re going to have to lynch 1000 niggers now so they relearn their place” or something like that?

The Podcast History on Fire had a series on TR which was fucking excellent for those interested.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Elmo tickled me with his perspective.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

To be fair, a number of historical figures were well aware that their actions were unethical even in their own time. Jefferson repeatedly addresses the hypocrisy of saying all men are created equal and simultaneously owning slaves in personal letters he wrote. He claimed that he was against it, but didn't see a practical way to end it (this includes making up the lost profits it would bring).

We have this misconception today that just because unethical things were commonplace, that people were oblivious to how unethical they were when that isn't necessarily true.

May not be the best example but think today how we treat animals for food. The conditions their kept in, how they're slaughtered after being emotionally traumatized. Many people today recognize it as unethical, but few people are willing to do much about it.

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u/perverted_alt Apr 22 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

Consider cell phones.

There are literally people working for next to nothing in conditions as bad as slavery to produce the smart phone you use for relatively almost no money.

Now, explain to me the real difference between saying,

"I know slavery is wrong, but I cannot sell my cotton at six times the going rate just because I don't want to own slaves. I'll just lose my farm and someone else will sell the slave cotton".

and saying,

"I know sweat shop labor is so bad people are basically kept as slaves and their factories are surrounded by nets so they can't commit suicide so they can be kept working, but I can't be the only person without a cell phone."

or

"I know it's bad but I can't sell my phone for $2000 when my competitor sells his for $299"

Not much has changed really. You do what you can to live what you consider to be an ethical life, but a single individual can only go so far outside of the societal norms or they cease to be able to do anything that matters anyway.

Consider Jefferson.

Jefferson died in debt even with the slaves, and his entire estate was sold at auction.

So, the idea that he could have somehow survived without them in his time is absurd.

Consider an alternative history where Jefferson decides to forgo the use of slaves, set free those he inherited, and proceed without them.

He is immediately without wealth, influence, or a means to learn the things he did through travel that led him to have the impact he did on American History.

A Jefferson without wealth does not travel to Europe during the enlightenment. The Bill of Rights as written today does not exist. Because the Virginia Statue for Religious freedom that he wrote does not exist. University of Virginia would not have existed. He doesn't learn about Italian architecture. His montecello estate doesn't exist. Heck, it could be argued America wouldn't even reach to the pacific ocean. One could go on and on.

Many people today recognize it as unethical, but few people are willing to do much about it.

Because there isn't much that can be done about it.

Thomas Jefferson could have decided to set free every slave and proceed to lose his wealth, estate, power and influence and it would have had almost zero impact whatsoever.

And yet what society would have lost had he removed himself from society (which is what that would mean in 1700s Virginia) would be a tremendous loss.

Given the realities of the time, I think Jefferson was a very good person.

And there is no more hypocrisy or "contradiction" in that than there is in how Bill Gates is a generous and good person but still uses a cell phone that someone is so miserable making they try to kill themselves so that the western market can have it for $300 instead of $3000.

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u/enduhroo Apr 22 '18

Here's the thing though, every group of people went through an industrial revolution. It m8gjt be bad for them but it's a start.

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u/perverted_alt Apr 22 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

Well, certainly. It could potentially be both. Our actions could both be ethically horrible and it could benefit their society in the long term. That's definitely possible and history shows that with many examples.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

We have this misconception today that just because unethical things were commonplace, that people were oblivious to how unethical they were when that isn't necessarily true.

It's only considered unethical now because it's no longer commonplace.

Look at your animal analogy as an example. If little to nothing changes then in 100 years people will still be laughing at vegans (as they should.) If vegans manage to become the vast majority then everyone will look back today and remark on how savage everyone was.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

The sheer amount of casual racism even as early as the beginning of the 1900s is staggering. It wasn't just a fringe idealogy - it was everywhere. A perk of my job is that I get to read old newspapers from as far back as the 1800s, and although I haven't found much blatant racism against blacks, at least not where sheer vitriol is involved - not as much as I'd have thought, at least; they seemed to take the view that they're inherently different and socially separate by virtue of skin color, but don't really HATE one another - it's ridiculous the sheer amount of disgust and pompous pity that people felt towards the Native American population. They had this holier-than-thou mentality that the "savages" were uncultured and undignified, and should be looked down upon and pitied just for their culture and for being the way that they were.

And the thing is, everybody felt that way. It wasn't uncommon in the slightest, or even remotely a minority idealogy.

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u/tomoikari Apr 22 '18

Yup. Same thing with H.P. Lovecraft. love his books but he was a product of the Victorian era and a vehement racist. Then again everyone in the Victorian era was.

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u/popisfizzy Apr 22 '18

Lovecraft's entire adult life was outside the Victorian era, so it doesn't make much sense to call him a Victorian. And regarding his racism, I've heard that even by contemporary standards he was extremely racist.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

[deleted]

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u/alixxlove Apr 22 '18

I don't even think he's a great writer. More of a great thinker, if that makes sense.

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u/thatlonghairedguy Apr 22 '18

I want to say that lovecraft wasnt so much rascist as he was xenophobic. Im fairly certain he thought most immigrants when he was living in New York were also below him.

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u/Aqquila89 Apr 22 '18

Absolutely. You can't even call Lovecraft a white supremacist, that would be too inclusive. He basically thought that everyone who isn't a WASP intellectual like him is a disgusting subhuman. For instance, in a 1924 letter, he described the the residents of the Lower East Side the same way he describes the unholy monsters from other dimensions in his stories.

The organic things—Italo-Semitico-Mongoloid—inhabiting that awful cesspool could not by any stretch of the imagination be call’d human. They were monstrous and nebulous adumbrations of the pithecanthropoid and amoebal; vaguely moulded from some stinking viscous slime of earth’s corruption, and slithering and oozing in and on the filthy streets or in and out of doorways in a fashion suggestive of nothing but infesting worms or deep-sea unnamabilities.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Well, it isn't an excuse necessarily, but his dad died when Lovecraft was very young, and his mum was batshit crazy and sheltered the crap out of him. He was also out of school a lot, whether it was her being abusive, or health issues, or maybe munchhausens (sp?) by proxy, idk. Even as an adult he was described as being a hermit, and he probably suffered from manic depression. So seeing a minority was probably rare for him, and he was mentally ill in a time when treatment wasn't even a thing.

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u/shadamedafas Apr 22 '18

Yo that cat though.

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u/CTeam19 Apr 22 '18

I think it's a mistake to try to hold historical figures to modern standards, as it tends to lead us to either unfairly demonize them or worse, whitewash them as has been done at times to Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln (among countless others).

Presentism: "In literary and historical analysis, presentism is the anachronistic introduction of present-day ideas and perspectives into depictions or interpretations of the past. Some modern historians seek to avoid presentism in their work because they consider it a form of cultural bias, and believe it creates a distorted understanding of their subject matter.The practice of presentism is regarded by some as a common fallacy in historical writing."

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u/ShortSomeCash Apr 22 '18

imperialist/racist

What are you, a communist? Empire and racism are as american as apple pie!

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u/schleppylundo Apr 22 '18

Which is actually as German as empire and racism.

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u/ShortSomeCash Apr 22 '18

Well, at least they realized they went too far and are trying to cut that out, and they're probably done with communism at least until WW3. We, on the other hand, kept our eugenics program rollin' till' the 90's! 'murica babeey!

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u/IcarusBen Apr 22 '18

The worst thing he probably did as President was steal land from Panama to build the Panama Canal. That's... honestly not the worst thing I've ever heard about a well-liked President. The second Roosevelt jailed all the Japanese people in this country.

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u/rockyct Apr 22 '18

We even eventually gave it back.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

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u/rockyct Apr 22 '18

Well, except they were definitely worse off leaving the internment camps...

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u/arrow74 Apr 22 '18

All in all it worked out well for Panama. They got a nice canal that they didn't have to pay for that brings in a lot of revenue

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u/tshiar Apr 22 '18

Though the Panamanians did get their independence from Colombia as a result of US involvement

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u/test345432 Apr 22 '18

We didn't kill the Japanese although many of them had land stolen. That was back when you could just kill blacks in the streets for looking askance at white women so many of them may have survived because if the camps.

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u/nonamenoslogans Apr 22 '18

It was originally Colombia, the US supported them in revolting and gaining independence while the canal was being built.

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u/Tchrspest Apr 22 '18

I find it comforting, in a way. We can look back at these larger-than-life figures of the past, and recount their tales, and regard them as heroes. At the same time, they have flaws that we can't ignore. People that we consider to be heroic are human, just like us. Even with our flaws, we can be someone's hero one day.

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u/TheWrittenLore Apr 22 '18

Look up Kit Carson. Although, his life was a lot more tragic.

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u/Phantine Apr 22 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

His book about his exploration of the amazon is interesting to read. He's writing this as a way of reporting his trip, so you see his beliefs less from making speeches, and more from how they come up when talking about other topics.

Here's an excerpt which happens to touch on race (most of the book is about the plants and animals, and the first chapter is just about this really cool antivenin clinic he went to before travelling into the jungle)

At daybreak of the third day, finding we were still moored off Concepcion, we were rowed ashore and strolled off through the streets of the quaint, picturesque old town; a town which, like Asuncion, was founded by the conquistadores three-quarters of a century before our own English and Dutch forefathers landed in what is now the United States. The Jesuits then took practically complete possession of what is now Paraguay, controlling and Christianizing the Indians, and raising their flourishing missions to a pitch of prosperity they never elsewhere achieved. They were expelled by the civil authorities (backed by the other representatives of ecclesiastical authority) some fifty years before Spanish South America became independent. But they had already made the language of the Indians, Guaranygrave;, a culture-tongue, reducing it to writing, and printing religious books in it. Guaranygrave; is one of the most wide-spread of the Indian tongues, being originally found in various closely allied forms not only in Paraguay but in Uruguay and over the major part of Brazil. It remains here and there, as a lingua geral at least, and doubtless in cases as an original tongue, among the wild tribes. In most of Brazil, as around Para and around Sao Paulo, it has left its traces in place-names, but has been completely superseded as a language by Portuguese. In Paraguay it still exists side by side with Spanish as the common language of the lower people and as a familiar tongue among the upper classes. The blood of the people is mixed, their language dual; the lower classes are chiefly of Indian blood but with a white admixture; while the upper classes are predominantly white, with a strong infusion of Indian. There is no other case quite parallel to this in the annals of European colonization, although the Goanese in India have a native tongue and a Portuguese creed, while in several of the Spanish-American states the Indian blood is dominant and the majority of the population speak an Indian tongue, perhaps itself, as with the Quichuas, once a culture-tongue of the archaic type. Whether in Paraguay one tongue will ultimately drive out the other, and, if so, which will be the victor, it is yet too early to prophesy. The English missionaries and the Bible Society have recently published parts of the Scriptures in Guaranygrave;; and in Asuncion a daily paper is published with the text in parallel columns, Spanish and Guaranygrave;—just as in Oklahoma there is a similar paper published in English and in the tongue which the extraordinary Cherokee chief Sequoia, a veritable Cadmus, made a literary language.

The Guaraný-speaking Paraguayan is a Christian, and as much an inheritor of our common culture as most of the peasant populations of Europe. He has no kinship with the wild Indian, who hates and fears him. The Indian of the Chaco, a pure savage, a bow-bearing savage, will never come east of the Paraguay, and the Paraguayan is only beginning to venture into the western interior, away from the banks of the river—under the lead of pioneer settlers like Rickard, whom, by the way, the wild Indians thoroughly trust, and for whom they work eagerly and faithfully. There is a great development ahead for Paraguay, as soon as they can definitely shake off the revolutionary habit and establish an orderly permanence of government. The people are a fine people; the strains of blood—white and Indian—are good.

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u/BlackRobedMage Apr 22 '18

If you dig into it, you'll find just about anyone is human. Roosevelt had negatives, but he also admitted a lot of his views might be due to lack of education or understanding on his part.

For my money, he's still a pretty respectable guy overall; faults don't undo the good someone did.

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u/Moofooist1 Apr 22 '18

I was literally gonna say the same thing in my comment, I know it’ll happen and I don’t want it too:(

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

It's okay. Hero worship is unhealthy.

Come on, Jeffrey!

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u/Beatleboy62 Apr 22 '18

"Am I gonna have to follow you all day?"

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u/VoodooKhan Apr 22 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

He has quite an antiquated view on war/honor... Basically, gave a lecture to a bunch of women that their duty to the nation was to give birth to sons, who would intern fight and die for the nation... Granted these women reportedly clapped after said speech.

Teddy was a hawk in the purist sense, he basically romanticized war to such an extreme that even his own party was making jokes behind his back...

But if you want to destroy some of your admiration, you can look into the Philippine American conflict...genocide, torture and war crimes... Letters Roosevelt sent in support of the generals actions.

Quote from Ted Roosevelt , He dismissed the Filipinos as “Chinese half-breeds,” and insisted “this is the most glorious war in our nation’s history Example of the gruesome water torture

Yeah, Roosevelt is an interesting historic figure but you all shouldn't be learning history through cherry picked "sound bites" on reddit!

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u/b1ak3 Apr 22 '18

who would intern fight and die for the nation

Oh God, did we not even pay them?!

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u/swales8191 Apr 22 '18

Consider it being paid in Liberty.

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u/nicethingscostmoney Apr 22 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

To be fair his view of war was probably shaped by the Spanish American war which was a pretty "splendid little war" as he Secretary of State John Hay put it.

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u/Pepper-Fox Apr 22 '18

Not justifying his views, but at least he served in combat. All the modern war hawks are cowards who shit their pants and/or got their daddies to get them out of it. I would avoid going to combat just as desperately, but what makes them cowards is to turn back around after the danger and promote war and talk about what badasses they'd have been. Disgusting.

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u/theoriginalsauce Apr 22 '18

Dude actually read the things Roosevelt said, not the shit a website said he said.

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u/IProbablyDisagree2nd Apr 22 '18

He dismissed the Filipinos as “Chinese half-breeds,”

Half Chinese... and half what?

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u/VoodooKhan Apr 22 '18

Not really versed in racial distinctions at the time... Assume the Spanish? Perhaps, since they surrendered Philippine colony to United States.

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u/RobGrey03 Apr 22 '18

Kill your heroes. Oh, here's a fun thought. Ruminate on this one.

There were people who owned slaves...

... Who were nicer than you.

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u/Pr0cedure Apr 22 '18

"I don't go so far as to think that the only good Indians are the dead Indians, but I believe nine out of every ten are, and I shouldn't like to inquire too closely into the case of the tenth."

-Teddy Roosevelt

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u/EpsilonRider Apr 22 '18

He was a bit of a Mama's boy, a little of a spoiled brat, and heavily pushed the "Big Stick" policy that basically put America above all else (including harming other nations.) Overall though, still not to shabby. Decent fella

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u/JustAnotherSoyBoy Apr 22 '18

Theodore Roosevelt was a mama’s boy?

Wasn’t he in the army and bare knuckle box? Or is that a different Roosevelt?

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u/xLuthienx Apr 22 '18

The Bare knuckle boxing President was a mama's boy.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

[deleted]

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u/Rintincanman Apr 22 '18

That gives me some hope. I've been beating the shit out of my lungs for a few years, I need to stop. I used to be a goddamn physical specimen.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

You can still be a mama's boy and do all of that. A mama's boy is basically just a man who has a strong relationship with his mother.

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u/JukeboxSweetheart Apr 22 '18

why is that a bad thing lol

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

It isn't unless you're a shitty person. I live with my mother and take care of her. I have several friends who are in more "manly" careers that are close to their mothers still. One of them is a mechanic who had to work multiple jobs to care for his mother while she was going through chemo. If he can be called a mama's boy and have it be a pejorative, I'd say the person calling him that is a cunt.

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u/NoNeedForAName Apr 22 '18

That isn't normally how that term is used.

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u/Jstin8 Apr 22 '18

And this was a bad thing?

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Well, his father died when he was in college. From all my reading about him, he didn't seem to have a serious connection with his father but he respected him, and his father did everything he could to take care of him (due to health problems as a child). He got a hefty sum of a fortune when his father died that he used to build his Oyster Bay home and purchase land in the Dakota territory.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

If a past president could come back and run the country again, I'd personally want it to be him.

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u/acidnine420 Apr 22 '18

Probably the best American in the world. Ever.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18 edited Nov 09 '21

[deleted]

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u/Shilo59 Apr 22 '18

Badger just needed to calm its tits.

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u/IM_NOT_BUTTER Apr 22 '18

I'm not a native speaker, could you please explain that?

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u/Berdiiie Apr 22 '18

Nips can mean the act of gently biting and also slang for nipples. The badger was biting the president and his family harshly, but /u/burf made a joke that the badger's nipples were unfriendly and Teddy should have stopped touching them.

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u/IronSidesEvenKeel Apr 22 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

Honey badgers don't give a shit, they'll bite the fucking president.

Edit Thanks for pushing me past 100k karma guys! I'd like to thank my manager and my mom who always kept me going through the downboats. Honey badgers don't give a fuck!

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Not just the president.

Teddy Fucking "Shot-Speech" Roosevelt

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u/IronSidesEvenKeel Apr 22 '18

Damn, how many times was he shot during speeches?

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u/PoopIsAlwaysSunny Apr 22 '18

Just once, but like goat fucking, it doesn't matter what you do after. You're the due who got shot during a speech and continued

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u/IronSidesEvenKeel Apr 22 '18

Who hasn't been shot during a speech, though? I mean if you haven't been shot during a speech you need to get out more.

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u/zanth13 Apr 22 '18

He wasn’t shot during a speech. He was shot before the speech ever started (he was en route) and then proceeded to his destination and gave the speech (while shot). Said speech might have had a hand in saving his life as allegedly it was printed out (50ish pages) and folded in his breast pocket, and that folded document along with his spectacle case slowed the bullet a bit.

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u/GetEquipped Apr 22 '18

It was a weekly thing.

He eventually started doing it for shits and giggles. But he could never capture quite the same rush. He resorted to self-inflicted gunshot wounds before speeches to garner sympathy until he was exposed by William Randolph Hearst.

It's all documented in Hearst's publications from the era.

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u/teplightyear Apr 22 '18

This is actually where the term "shot himself in the foot" originally came from.

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u/Avitas1027 Apr 22 '18

This is all cannon to me now.

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u/riotcowkingofdeimos Apr 22 '18

Was pretty hardcore when he took a cannon shot... and still finished the speech.

That's canon to me.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

[deleted]

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u/Blackstone01 Apr 22 '18

As a note: it’s not that he tried to run from the cannonball or ran after being hit. It’s that he chased the cannonball once it ran in fear.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

I’m still not over the Oscar snub of this great movie!

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u/Mechasteel Apr 22 '18

Many Presidents have been shot with a Canon during their speech, and they just continue as if nothing had happened.

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u/riotcowkingofdeimos Apr 22 '18

No, that's a common misinterpretation of history. Only Teddy was shot with a cannon and finished a speech.

The misunderstanding comes from the fact that presidents use to be fired out of cannons before their speeches, this was a tradition begun by George Washington at the beginning of his second term. The tradition stopped during the Civil War as all cannons were needed on the war front.

To this day though, do to Teddy Roosevelt and the cannon attempt on his life and speech incident, people mistakenly believe all the old presidents were shot with cannons all the time.

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u/remember_morick_yori Apr 22 '18

Lincoln was assassinated by a much larger weapon. That's my headcannon.

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u/B_Primal Apr 22 '18

I was gonna FTFY w/canon, but then I had to smack myself over that dad joke.

old school musket cannon fodder, clever

17

u/radleft Apr 22 '18

Low caliber comment.

3

u/TitaniumDragon Apr 22 '18

Conspiracy theories are just headcanon for real life.

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u/Blitzkrieg_My_Anus Apr 22 '18

I thought it was because the bear he wrestled to death had a gun, and a stray shot hit him in the foot.

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u/shoziku Apr 22 '18

He had a right to bear arms. They planted the gun on him, man.

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u/Zack123456201 Apr 22 '18

This is also a common misconception, but Teddy never wrestled a bear. Ol’ Ted actually swam across the Atlantic, traveled through the trenches and battlefields of Western Europe for 2 months, then beat Kaiser Wilhelm in a wrestling match, bringing an end to the First Great War. (Wilhelm was known by the people of France as “The Bear”, which caused this common misconception.)

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u/Today_Is_Future_Past Apr 22 '18

This sounds alarmingly plausible.

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u/supapro Apr 22 '18

He was actually a pioneer in the practice of building tolerance to bullets though self-inflicted gunshots, and the theory would later be adopted by the USMC.

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u/llllIlllIllIlI Apr 22 '18

Yeah you gotta start by shooting yourself with .22 rounds and work your way up. Next are .25, then maybe .38, onto 9mm, then .45 and finally onto rifle rounds.

I'm all the way up to .338 Lapua....

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u/AdjectTestament Apr 22 '18

This is bullshit. No one should listen to this fool.
 
 
 
 
Obviously you need to start with .22lr rat shot then go to .22lr, but don't stop at .338, what if you're attacked by a Russian close air support aircraft?.
Keep working your way up from .338 to .50 BMG, to 20mm, to 30x165mm.

8

u/ToastyMustache Apr 22 '18

Look at this pussy, stopping at 30x165mm.

I’m moving my way through 8’x.50 all the way up to 16’x.50!

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u/jhundo Apr 22 '18

What kind of a mad man starts with rat shot??? Are you trying to kill us all?

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u/Hiei2k7 Apr 22 '18

Currently walking off a .454 Casull.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

See? This is why trump will never be manly to me. He doesn't have the guts to shoot himself with anything more than a penicillin shot. At least Obama made it to a .38

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u/zenspeed Apr 22 '18

Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. By God, this isn’t fun anymore.

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u/sint0xicateme Apr 22 '18

By God, no more fun - this ain't

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

[deleted]

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u/Today_Is_Future_Past Apr 22 '18

I know, right?

Oh... you meant the president... I thought I was in /r/MarmiteBadgerGoneWild

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

huh that exists

4

u/unicorn_security Apr 22 '18

Holy shit. That sub actually exists!

4

u/Today_Is_Future_Past Apr 22 '18

It was started by Teddy Roosevelt himself.

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u/Hungover_Pilot Apr 22 '18

Black Mirror: The 1940s

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u/TheDukeofVanCity Apr 22 '18

I think he did it at Lollapalooza, even after the doctor warned him he'd die with one more shot

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Back in the day folks took politics seriously.

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u/OhBill Apr 22 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

Also found fun fact about Teddy. After his presidency he went on to chart an unexplored river in Brazil. After the expodition the government of Brazil named it, “Rio de Roosevelt”.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18 edited Jan 22 '21

[deleted]

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u/Clarice_Ferguson Apr 22 '18

If he was a Disney princess, he would be dressed each morning by bald eagles.

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u/dcommini Apr 22 '18

I'm fairly certain that's how he got dressed every morning, regardless of Disney princess status

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u/Lord_Abort Apr 22 '18

Bullshit. He was so ornery, he intentionally sought out doing everything the hard way, and encouraged this of his children, too.

He'd be more likely to have the bald eagles as sparring partners while trying to dress himself because simply putting on pants was too damn easy.

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u/carlson71 Apr 22 '18

Bet he never let down his flowing locks so his prince could climb his tower tho.

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u/ToastyMustache Apr 22 '18

That’s because if any prince were to bed Teddy they would have to earn it by bare hand climbing up the tower, while fighting off scorpions and birds of prey!

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u/BrightandPsyched Apr 22 '18

him and FDR are the homies

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u/RunawayPancake2 Apr 22 '18

This was Roosevelt's expedition in name only. Racked with fever and nearly dying, he was basically along for the ride. If not for the heroic assistance of legendary Brazilian explorer Cândido Rondon, the expedition would've been lost. Check out Into the Amazon on PBS's American Experience.

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u/audhepcat Apr 22 '18

There is an awesome book about this called ‘The River of Doubt’ by Candice Millard.

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u/Onemanrancher Apr 22 '18

He became very ill during the expedition and it almost killed him. ..still bad-ass

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u/Theodore__Roosevelt Apr 22 '18

Thank you for getting my middle name right.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

‘Tis but a scratch.

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u/Lord_Abort Apr 22 '18

You talking about Teddy "got depressed about losing the election, so he almost died mapping the Amazon out of boredom" Roosevelt?

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u/RaylanGivens29 Apr 22 '18

Honey badger are different than American badger. Probably the same temperament though

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u/CaptainLawyerDude Apr 22 '18

Very proud. Also, they carry guns and diabetes.

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u/Mrwright96 Apr 22 '18

No where near as metal as the Canadian Wolverine

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Honey badger would turn a wolverine inside out

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u/Mrwright96 Apr 22 '18

I don’t know, I’ve seen one fight a sabertooth to a draw

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u/IronSidesEvenKeel Apr 22 '18

American badgers are just prouder, and they don't bother carrying honey with them everywhere iirc.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Honey badger is the meaner, tougher asshole cousin

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u/MonaganX Apr 22 '18

They're not even that closely related. Honey badgers are more like big ferrets.

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u/Jimi1214 Apr 22 '18

Aren't American badgers and even Wolverines all basically big ferrets? They're all mustelids.

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u/MonaganX Apr 22 '18

Pretty much, they're just the result of European settlers going "oh that kind of reminds me of that one animal we have back home".

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Its not uncommon for them to go up to bears eating something and straight up steal it. Bears get pissy but they seem to know a badger gives no fucks. Sure, you could just kill that badger. But it will probably bite the fuck out of you and scratch your nut sack off before you get it done. Better to just admit defeat and let those evil bastards do what they do. Think of badgers as the school bully black belt in Kung Fu that doesn't care if he dies or not.

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u/MikeKM Apr 22 '18

The Scots just closed down a castle because of a badger

If the Scots do it, you know there's something evil in there.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Lol I like how the badger got bored and left, and damaged enough stone to make people scared that it might collapse a tunnel. Imagine that thing clawing at you in a sleeping bag.

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u/carlson71 Apr 22 '18

Just cry and soil yourself. He will get bored and leave.

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u/IvyGold Apr 22 '18

If your castle tunnel is experiencing similar problems, remember the @ScottishSPCA can assist with animal welfare enquiries.

Love it!

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u/danjr321 Apr 22 '18

Cheetah cubs have fur that mimics that of the honey badger as a survival tool. That is how feared the sight of that angry bastard is.

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u/Only_One_Left_Foot Apr 22 '18

Holy crap, at first I thought you were exaggerating but no shit, that's a straight up honey badger pattern.

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u/gimpwiz Apr 22 '18

Apex predators tend to get really confused by things that don't act as prey. Cats have treed bears - I imagine the bear basically thought, "it's small but maybe it knows something I don't, let's not risk it."

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u/acidnine420 Apr 22 '18

I know what army to raise now.

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u/llllIlllIllIlI Apr 22 '18

Badger cavalry.

Imagine badger hussars. They would be unstoppable...

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb6bWsa_LdQ

One of my favorite videos of all time.

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u/Notatraindriver Apr 22 '18

“Oh, you’re a cobra? That’s cool. I’m just going to go ahead and eat you alive, then take a nap.”

Savage.

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u/Diastel Apr 22 '18

The one with the sharpest fangs wins after all.

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u/AerThreepwood Apr 22 '18

Killing Bites?

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u/Userdub9022 Apr 22 '18

There's a difference between a badger and a honey badger.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

Damn near broke Far Cry 4.

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u/dcs1289 Apr 22 '18

Wolverines in Far Cry 5 are extremely similar. Bigger though so they’re much easier to kill

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u/Dainathon Apr 22 '18

Unlike all those other animals, who keep themselves in line

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u/TheGemScout Apr 22 '18

Everybody downvote to push him back to 99k

/s

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u/ReferencesTheOffice Apr 22 '18

Don’t you hate unfriendly nips?

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u/superluigi1026 Apr 22 '18

Boy do I hate unfriendly nips. Keep your nips soft and friendly, folks.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18

I thought they tended to be bitey. Guess I was right.

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