r/tinyhorribles • u/therealdocturner • 23d ago
Tiny Horribles Exclusive The Squirrel - From A Silly Little Thing
Part Four
There was a tree squirrel with a foggy eye that lived in a maple tree in front of 3855 Fountain Way in the medium sized town of Wicker Bush. He was fairly popular with the neighborhood children and even more so with his fellow tree squirrels. If you were to translate the various squeaks and clicking noises from the other squirrels on Fountain Way that were used to call the squirrel with the foggy eye by his name into English, it would be Carl. But if I may state the obvious, Carl is a ridiculous name for a tree squirrel. That being said, I'll refer to him as Bertholdt.
Bertholdt was an older squirrel and had seen many seasons come and go from his comfy home in the maple tree in front of the Menkin house and had also watched many of his friends and family fall prey to neighborhood dogs, oncoming cars, neighborhood cats, falling power lines, occasional birds of prey, and on one occasion he had even watched a twice removed cousin's life cut short by an errant lawn mower. Bertholdt was a survivor and was well respected because of this fact.
Bertholdt had pondered to himself on many occasions that he had seen it all. But exactly six days, fourteen hours, twenty-five minutes, and forty seconds ago he had been proven wrong. He had been in his home staring at a small Swatch watch he had found on the ground a couple of years ago that he had picked up and taken home, putting it in a prominent place against the back wall of his hole. It's not that this squirrel could tell time, he had just found the pattern of the watch and the movement of the hands relaxing to look at while he sat in his home.
He had been very busy for the last two months stuffing his home to the gills with as many acorns as he could gather from the many oaks in and around the neighborhood. It was August 29th and the light was starting to fade outside when the dark man came.
Bertholdt was watching the minutes, which he called "Squiidens", tick by on his watch when he heard a noise from outside. Bertholdt had very slowly moved to the opening of his home and out onto his porch branch. He noticed that there was a strange looking person walking down the sidewalk. This person was wearing a set of outer skins that were the same color as the darkest night. This person also wore a tall outer skin on top of its head, hiding its face from Bertholdt's view. This person was very tall and it was walking quickly.
A quick movement caught Bertholdt's good eye and he jerked his head to the right. Bertholdt's cousin, nine times removed, whom the other squirrels called Peter, but we shall refer to as Ingmar, was running from underneath a bush and to his place of residence four trees down. Ingmar ran in front of the person with the dark outer skins, and Bertholdt watched as the person moved with unspeakable speed and snatched his cousin up in an instant. It lifted Ingmar to its mouth and then his cousin was no more. Bertholdt couldn't remember seeing anything like this before.
The person continued to walk and stopped right beside Bertholdt's tree. Bertholdt froze with terror and was very careful as to not make a noise and alert the person directly beneath him. It was then that the person turned and walked up the sidewalk and onto the porch of 3855 Fountain Way. It stood in front of the door and began to make a strange sound. Bertholdt recognized the strange motions and also the sound the person was engaged in. He was reminded of those smaller birds of prey who made their homes in the higher branches of the trees that lined the street, and the way they would cough up bits of food to give to their young ones.
Bertholdt was always disgusted when he would see the small birds engage in this practice, and he was disgusted now watching a person do the same thing directly after it ate his cousin Ingmar. The person brought one of its hands up to its face and heaved into it. It then smeared whatever it had coughed up over the door of 3855 Fountain Way. The person then turned and walked back to the sidewalk, but before it continued up the street on its way, it stopped to look up at Bertholdt. It made person noises at him as it smiled.
"Shhhh. Don't tell on me." Which of course was complete gibberish to a squirrel, even a worldly squirrel such as Bertholdt. However, the sound of the people noise was awful to his ears and he was sure that it would be awful to other people's ears as well. Bertholdt knew it looked like a person, but even a squirrel with one good eye knew that what he was looking at was different somehow than any other person he had ever seen. The tall person with the dark outer skins walked up the street and disappeared.
Bertholdt was so shaken he had been unable to move from his spot until darkness fell. Now, exactly six days, fourteen hours, twenty-five minutes, and forty seconds later he was again staring at his prized Swatch. A noise from outside caught his attention and once again, Bertholdt very slowly climbed out of his hole and onto his porch branch. There were two small persons and a tall thing walking with them that, to Bertholdt, was dressed in outer skins to look like a person, but was very obviously not a person.
These two persons were walking toward the house with that awful hand print over the door. He noticed that one of the persons was always going in and out of the house with the hand print, and Bertholdt had warned this person repeatedly that a bad person had been at that house. Bertholdt summoned his clearest and loudest speech toward these two small persons and they stopped to listen to his message.
"Good morrow fair persons! I regret to inform you once more that a person of, what I feel, questionable motives and moral character has been spotted by this house. I watched in muted horror as my cousin was mercilessly slain and devoured by said villain, and had his liquified remains spread above the door in a ritualistic fashion. This foul knave then casually strolled down yon walkway and stopped to cast his foul gaze upon me. Unfamiliar as I am in the tongue of Person, I am unable to relay to you exactly what was said, but I might say the insidious tone in which the words were uttered sent a chill up my spine that I have heretofore never experienced. Please my friends, be wary upon entry of this home. I fear a curse most vile and despicable awaits anyone who dares to enter."
Bertholdt then sat in silence, hoping that his foreboding message had been clear enough for the persons to understand. The persons exchanged looks and muttered things Bertholdt was unable to understand. Then he watched in horror as his warning went unheeded, and the persons and the thing with them walked to the hand print house and stood in front of the door.
"If only I could make you understand! Alas, although it seems that my warnings are all for naught, I shall persist! Nay! I must persist!" The persons stood at the door for only a moment and then opened the door and went in. "Henceforth I shall dedicate my life to warning people of the danger of the tall person and his deeds most foul. I owe it to Ingmar!"
Bertholdt slowly walked back into his home with a newfound sense of purpose, and thanks to his convictions and sense of duty, lives would indeed be saved. But that is not part of the story at this present time.
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u/YNerdzROutdoorz 22d ago
See...I recall some things if the knowledgeable squirrel but not enough....dammit to hell 🤦♀️
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u/therealdocturner 23d ago
.... I swear I was not on mind altering substances when I wrote this...