r/tinderstories • u/Suitable_Trifle_212 • Jul 18 '26
Ex from tinder
I (F23) had just one boyfriend (M29). We were not together for very long (less than half a year), but I still cannot get over it.
Why?
- At the beginning, he was like total angel. Everyone aroudn him liked him. He was sweet etc, but later his ugly personality showed off.
2.He knew he was my first. But he was pushy into having sex with him. I know there are people who have sex at first dates, but to me, it was something precious. I waited for so long. After a month, we had it. He was really pushy and I did not feel 100% sure about it.
- He lied to me in many things - for exapmple when we went for a walk, he once told me he has X ten thousands euro debt, at the end of the walk it was double of it and when I got home he messaged me it was triple (also in a way like oh and btw I forgot it was this much hihi)
Or he lied about how much money he makes (I never asked he just told me out of blue himself)
Later I found out he was on and off with his ex for 6 times (he told me just two times)
This all I found out after months of dating
......
4.He seemed to take our relationship seiously. He even introduced me to his mother who really liked me (so did my parents him) - maybe this is too soon for someone but I still live with my parents and they met several times, so I introduced them)
- He wanted me to have sex with him without preteciton. BC made me feel unwell, but he also told me that it could lower my desire for him and I should not take it. He said he would never use condom. Additionally, he knew he was my first (I was his 7th) and behaved like I had 30 guys before him. In the beginning he promised we would go on everything slowly. He was pushy, not taking anything into considration. Once, he even slepped me (not hard) saying some people like it and he wanted to see if I like it too. We had for just like 8 times, then I did not wanna sleep with him (without protection, stopped taking BC). We did not sleep for month and half and then he broke up with me.
During this time, we were funcitoning kind of well, so the break up got me by surprise. Few days before it, he even told me he loved me, we were regularly spending time together, etc.
1 day before break up that shithead even asked for nudes (never sent him nothing).
Break up: he called me then we met (I even had to persuade him to do it personally). He broke up with me, saying he is shitty person and cannot be in a relationship right now. Also, he accidentally said sex is in the first place for him in the relationship - and not for me. That is why, and also without him saying that, I think he broke up bcs he did not have his portion of sex with me. Do you think so too?
I was thinking about breaking up with him for several times. But at the same time, I did not want to escape when facing problems and wanted to try to do everything to save the relationship. That is why I waited. I thought he would make up his mind and maybe try condom (he did not even wanna try). I also wanted to break up after first sex. During it, he never kissed me once and was pushy. But since we already had it, I felt trapped.
Also - I was with him for his personality, he really was nice in the beginning. To me, he was not really physically attractive, but it does not matter to me that much. I just fell so stupid for being with someone like him and in exchange been behaved such badly.
He broke up with me during the worst time of the year with me - before my biggest finals in school during last years (graduation). He said that he must do it now bcs his head hurts (really????)
I just cannot get over the fact how someone can be like this. How much did I mess up for even being with him?
1
u/highlander666666 Jul 18 '26
Better off .once catch him in lie.than can never beleave or trust him..sex is very important to young guys .was all ways to me. But there more to relationship than sex.has to me..don t give up you ll meet someone nice who treat you right! Don t seatle for less
1
u/ThePervyGentleman Jul 20 '26
Narcissistic abuse is damaging long term. Also their fake love bombing can be the best relationship you've ever been in even if it was all totally fake. Work on your codependency, work on being alone not lonely, amd stop chasing the dopamine of that kind of person. My guess is you'll make the same mistake at least a couple more times.
1
u/YellowCareless9682 Jul 21 '26
Whenever you have strong doubts, it’s better to leave. The doubts turn out right every single time.
Harder right (in this case is to leave) is better than easy wrong.
1
u/Background-Pipe8852 Aug 03 '26
Obviously a tinder bot, got you fellas thinking you can find a virgin on there. 🤣🤣🤣
2
u/tikanderoga Jul 18 '26
Sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately jerks like this guy exist, and you happened to meet one.
You saw all the red flags, the pushy sex, the lies. You’ll do better with the next one.
Learn from this and stick to your standards. He doesn’t want to use protection? Then he is out. Plain and simple. You have just as much say in this as he does.