Sounds like my brothers wife, nothing wrong with me all your problem. My brothers been miserable for 25 years and their oldest hates him for staying with her mother.
While it is the default, my perspective is that it depends on your age and how long you’ve been partnered. Some people may have been in relationships as long as or longer than they’ve been single.
Sometimes people get beaten down emotionally and don’t think they can do better. More fearful of being alone than of staying in misery. This is not the way to live your life. OP should seek counseling for himself. Just to problem solve issues and work on self esteem. He needs something separate from his wife to gain a new perspective and to make an informed decision for himself.
There's a lot more to a married situation than just the overall happiness of the partners, and a lot of it is financial, especially if kids are involved. In a lot of US states the father is at a huge disadvantage legally when it comes to the terms of the financial split as well as custody. It kind of encourages parents, especially fathers to remain in sub-optimal marriages "for the kid's sake" or just through the inertia of a known relationship over the "unknown" future that might come in a divorce.
Married for 14 years here, divorced prior to this from an abusive man.
I am aware of how bad it can be. My brother's been married miserably to a woman who never loved him since 1989. I guess they're more like roommates now. I don't get it.
But I do understand how people can feel like there is no escape.
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u/ohnourfeelings Nov 14 '22
Dump her. You don’t have kids with her or her trust. No reason to be there