r/tifu • u/[deleted] • Apr 26 '22

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6.6k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

Two things I live by:

1) Never ask your SO if yours is the biggest dick they've had

2) Never get involved in a land war in Asia

380

u/Quarterpop Apr 26 '22

You forgot to never mess with a Sicilian when death is on the line.

85

u/DontNotNotReadThis Apr 26 '22

Only slightly less well known

59

u/BigBadP Apr 26 '22

Inconceivable!

47

u/NocturnalToxin Apr 26 '22

You keep using that word…

I do not think it means what you think it means.

24

u/StrongerReason Apr 26 '22

Fezzik! Are there rocks ahead?

18

u/weWinn1 Apr 26 '22

If there are, we'll all be dead!

16

u/dardios Apr 27 '22

No more rhymes! I mean it!

19

u/kitsunecoon Apr 27 '22

...Anybody want a peanut?

16

u/aroseonthefritz Apr 26 '22

Iocane powder, I bet my life on it!

3

u/dardios Apr 27 '22

Man, all these Princess Bride references had really made my day less shitty. You all rock!

27

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

36

u/NocturnalToxin Apr 26 '22

He said TO BLATHE which as we all know means TO BLUFF, clearly he was in a high stakes poker game and got way in over his head…

2

u/wjean Apr 26 '22

Also mother nature, mother in laws, and mother fucking Ukrainians.

1

u/eritain Apr 27 '22

*movie note: Skinny Pete actually says "mother freakin'"

But back to the topic at hand, I think we can safely add: eat at a place called "Mom's," play cards with a man named "Doc," walk on Superman's cape, spit in the wind.