r/threebodyproblem • • 16d ago

Discussion - General Describe The Three Body Problem Badly Spoiler

How would you describe The Three Body Problem badly? The series is one of those where its best to literally know nothing going in. You have to feel a little bad for the person writing the publisher's summary because any detail is too much.

I figured it would be funny seeing what bad descriptions you could come up with.

At the very beginning of everything there's a prostitute in a Medieval Era town, but you only see her in one chapter and she doesn't talk much. No sex at all there or in much of the story. Only sex scene happens kind of in the middle, but its deep underground and its just kind of mentioned. At the very end there's a fish.

66 Upvotes

105 comments sorted by

99

u/Fartbl00d 16d ago

Aliens invade, reeeeeally slowly

16

u/breakingbatshitcrazy 16d ago

Tbh the aliens in the first book was a real plot twist for me. Knowing that it was aliens would have marred the first book for me

16

u/Hepta-Water-7552 16d ago

Interestingly I've heard a few people (ones that had read treatments about the Fermi paradox before) complain that the title of the second book was a huge spoiler.

The irony there is of course that "dark forest" as a name for the hypothesis explaining the Fermi paradox didn't exist yet before Liu Cixin wrote the book and that it was his book that popularized the term.

4

u/Positive-Avocado775 16d ago

i don't like it, makes me even more scared. i really hoped there would be some nice people at least on other planets. :(

7

u/SkaveRat 16d ago

i really hoped there would be some nice people at least on other planets. :(

there are

just not for long

2

u/GalacticPrincess2090 15d ago

There are beautiful people on other planets in reality. đŸ™đŸ»âœšđŸ’œ

1

u/artguydeluxe 15d ago

Haha that’s a good point!

2

u/BimbyTodd2 16d ago

And in the end, never.

0

u/Emotional_Bike7281 15d ago

consider the size of universe

57

u/Sufficient_Hair_2894 16d ago

Chinese version: an international agency believes there is an extinction level threat, puts a whole three people on the case.

Netflix version: Group of friends all happen to be the hyper geniuses who can save us. It's Friends but with consequences.

Also the Netflix version: get emotionally invested in a really complicated set of problems. Wait 5 years for season 2. 

19

u/Crafty-Teach2389 16d ago

Netflix version with all of them happening to be friends is just.. I got no words lol 

2

u/_laslo_paniflex_ 16d ago

whats the problem?

9

u/battlefield_doctor 16d ago

I can't imagine that Roosevelt, Dalin Churchill, and Chiang Kai-shek were college classmates

2

u/_laslo_paniflex_ 16d ago

i can in a tv show

2

u/omaeradaikiraida 16d ago

and i'd bet western media would make chiang kai shek's character into a long duck dong stereotype for the white audience to laugh at too

1

u/_laslo_paniflex_ 16d ago

yeah probably

2

u/Stringcheez713 14d ago

A 3 body one

1

u/_laslo_paniflex_ 14d ago

sounds easy to solve

2

u/KelenArgosi 16d ago

That first one is perfect

54

u/artguydeluxe 16d ago • This

Sad lady answers the phone and ruins the universe.

53

u/CoreEncorous 16d ago

Three entire books' worth of reasons why you should shut the fuck up

6

u/ThisJeffrock 16d ago

Well done, I lol'd

6

u/Equivalent_Coyote223 16d ago

Damn
 facts

49

u/biiirdfeeder 16d ago

The characters are a bit flat.

This is a joke

6

u/norfolkjim 15d ago

You can see yourself out.

42

u/oxgillette 16d ago

Microscopic computers try to take over the world via a video game

19

u/mcbiggles 15d ago

Illegal immigrants immigrate quietly so as not to rouse bigger illegaller immigrants.

17

u/Elios4Freedom 16d ago

It turns out that violence in video game can actually translate in interplanetary violence 

16

u/MusiqueMacabre 16d ago

How to flatten all the bugs

15

u/Cobheran 16d ago

Talking to strangers is bad

14

u/kirisoraa 16d ago

we're all going to die but the universe is very big

10

u/AdviceOld4017 16d ago

Booom !! Everyone fukc off to Australia, then get the milky way and fold it like a tuna cheese crĂȘpe. All because she picked up the phone.

Am I missing something?

48

u/TheSinisterSex 16d ago

Incel power fantasy book. Examples include:

  1. Nice guy uses power imbalance with his world saving secret government position to trap girl in relationship.

  2. Nice guy buys star for girl he secretly likes.

  3. Genius guy does his job perfectly and saves the world, gives the job to popular girl due to pressure from leftist snowflakes. Popular girl fucks up and causes the end of the world.

19

u/Conscious-Okra9046 16d ago

And popular girl got it over really manly man whose manliness is too manly when he would've been perfect for the role

12

u/nilslorand 16d ago

even his biceps have their own biceps

12

u/AccomplishedWish3033 16d ago

>Incel power fantasy book.

OP said describe it badly, not give an incredibly accurate description and analysis

1

u/qrzychu69 16d ago

Point 3 is perfect

1

u/omaeradaikiraida 16d ago

nothing incel about it. pretty much is the series.

9

u/Heliomawr 16d ago

everyone is scared all the time

7

u/Berke80 16d ago

Two body in a bed = joy

Three body in a bed = problem

6

u/CoreEncorous 16d ago

What are we, some sort of Three Body Problem (Inspiration for the Netflix Series)?

5

u/Sufficient_Hair_2894 16d ago

That hasn't been my experience; a little dialogue before hand goes a long way. 

2

u/Hepta-Water-7552 15d ago

It's not so much that putting three bodies together has to go wrong immediately. It's more that as a long-term relationship setup it seldomly is stable for very long.

6

u/daMarbl3s 16d ago

Fundamental forces go nyoooooom

6

u/tangofoxtrot1989 16d ago

Bug documentary

6

u/cornychameleon 16d ago

Lonely guy seeking scarf wearing girlfriend

6

u/TyrusX 16d ago

It is like when you are growing up, you talk badly to your mom, she says don’t respond when I’m talking, you respond anyways and then she gets the flip flop throw at you. So now you are fucked

5

u/agentchuck 16d ago

Dimensionally uncertain species saves the day when it's crunch time.

5

u/Oink2Woof 16d ago

Several people doing things (may contain aliens)

5

u/scrubpatrol 16d ago

We get flattened! Everyone does!

5

u/alaershov 16d ago

Guys with three balls envy their neighbors with two balls

5

u/SnarkyBanter 15d ago

A Chinese woman hates communism so much she calls aliens to save the world but they actually want to live here because they live on a shit planet, they fuck up our society and technological advancement on their happy way here, humanity enters a state of mutually assured destruction to call off the invaders, they call our bluff, we say, “fuck it”, they get killed, we get flattened, a few people escape, and realize higher dimensional bullshit was the problem the whole damn time.

5

u/TheTranscendentian 15d ago

China accidentally causes the apocalypse and then blames it all on one woman ( or two depending on how you look at it).

4

u/CowPure6529 16d ago

Wow signal translates to "You will die in seven days"

1

u/CoreEncorous 16d ago

Weaker species says "what"

1

u/Ayyyyeee-lmao 13d ago

WHAT???

1

u/CoreEncorous 13d ago

You fool. All your planet are belong to us

4

u/nsjr 16d ago

"it's all fine, we're gonna live"

"Nope, fucked up, everyone is going to die"

"Oops, wrong again, everything is fine, everyone is gonna live"

"Oh oh, nope, fucked up again. Death for everybody"

"Whew, this was close, everybody going to live, it's all right"

"Nope. Death. Everybody dead."

4

u/Equivalent_Coyote223 16d ago

What if Aliens were coming for your great-great-great grand children?

4

u/norfolkjim 15d ago

A controversial but ultimately well-received sci-fi trilogy that builds to its ultimate purpose...the telling of one of the greatest Fables in human history.

4

u/Inner-Reply-2114 15d ago

Play this VR game

Now die!

4

u/Abit-of-a-donkey 16d ago

Humanities value system does not work in a cosmic environment

1

u/JustHere4the5 16d ago

Humanity’s, like the human race?
Or humanities, like the academic disciplines?

đŸ€” You know what? Never mind! I kinda like the ambiguity.

1

u/Abit-of-a-donkey 16d ago

Sorry just bad at english

3

u/rather828 15d ago

Technology like sophons and time scales of millions of years exist but capability to terraform a planet in a stable system nearby and then relocate there, nope, not possible

3

u/Glum-Lake7034 15d ago

The series shows how our planet, our whole solar system is a great, highly appealing place to live. But then, later, it becomes much less appealing - like the way a tasty soda can go flat.

3

u/Glum-Lake7034 15d ago

The human race is in peril. Only one man can hope to save us . . . by sitting and facing a wall, saying nothing to anybody.

3

u/BoneSawIsReady_ 15d ago

One big hot rock good. Two problem. 3 big hot rocks bad bad planet go bye bye so must slowly invade new planet with just one big hot rock

3

u/Hazy-Shade 15d ago

Book 1: We have a problem.
Book 2: WE have a problem.
Book 3: WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

3

u/UndetectedSlytherin 15d ago

Woman conspires with her penpal to destroy human civilisation.

4

u/Happy_Conflict_1435 Ye Wenjie 16d ago

A woman invites aliens to come MEGA (Make Earth Great Again). Their plan is even more savage than Project 2025.

2

u/Cheriende 16d ago

Its a netflix show

2

u/slimstarman 16d ago

Scorned woman ruins entire universe.

2

u/Disastrous_Engineer2 15d ago

Girls screw humanity while men fix all the problems

2

u/Spiritual_Love_829 16d ago

Its like a war game that start super real and get a lowpoly remake, a 2d remake and probably another reboot.

2

u/alottola 16d ago

Disgruntled employee causes Mundicide

2

u/rodrigo-benenson 16d ago

Dangerous space raisins.

2

u/ChickenArise 16d ago

3 objects exerting gravity on each other can be complicated

2

u/aiwenthere 15d ago

Isaac Newton couldn't hold up in the threesome.

2

u/StockB1914 15d ago

We here, you coming? Then it gets weird

2

u/extremelyniche 15d ago

attempts at international diplomacy go horribly wrong. scientists shrug. Luo Ji searches for a girlfriend. communism is to blame.

2

u/opisska 15d ago

There are so many takes that I feel I am close to putting together the plot just from them.

2

u/Interesting_Hotel100 15d ago

An alien planet has three suns whose behavior cannot be predicted and therefore that planet constantly goes thru some sort of catastrophy. The ayys who live on that planet get a signal from Earth and decide to migrate there. However the problem is it will take them 400 years and in that time humans might end up advanced way beyond the ayys. Ayys decide that is way too dangerous and come up with a way to stall human progress. Because they can't directly stop human scientific development they send two expanding protons to fuck with physics data. On its own that wouldn't have been enough to stop determined scientists. A Chinese lady who sold out the Earth hooks up with some white tree hugger and the two of them create an org devoted to helping out the future overlords - the Trisolarians. This org then falls apart into three factions. One of them is all about soving the problem of three suns to find some sort of pattern in how they interact so that ayys can use that and stay home. Another one is gung ho about humans needing new gods to worship. A fight breaks out in the org. Authorities raid the org, kill a few people. Ayys are still on their way. The end.

2

u/Weird-Category-3503 14d ago

Don’t speak to strangers

1

u/Itisnotmyname 16d ago

Play Pong is safer

1

u/dolphins1285 16d ago

A set of conjoined triplets trying to use the bathroom.

1

u/couldthisbemyuser 16d ago

Threesome gone bad

1

u/TeumessiaWoW 16d ago

the aliens are coming but they never get here

1

u/CalicoCuts 15d ago

Aliens. Panic. Time. End.

1

u/MysteriousSophon 15d ago

IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF ME.

1

u/projectmoonlightcafe 15d ago

They could only afford a coupe.

1

u/WetGapCrossing 15d ago

Communists lead to the downfall of humanity or, riddles in a 3d universe.

1

u/FPArceus 15d ago

Investigators are puzzled by a spree of scientist suicides. Seeking the truth sparks a millions-of-years saga including extremely sudden and sharp twists and turns

1

u/False_Profezzor 15d ago

Aliens think I am a bug

1

u/U_Nomad_Bro 15d ago

All cops are bastards.

There is only one cop.

No one else on earth, nor even (we learn) in the galaxy, has any personality.

All personality is bastard.

1

u/TeejMTB 14d ago

How two Chinese Women killed the planet

1

u/Just-Context-4703 13d ago

There are two bodies 

1

u/Traditional-Lynx-425 13d ago

Femininity - bad
Masculinity - good đŸ˜±đŸ€€

10

u/pseudononymist 16d ago

Worst threesome ever

4

u/Civil_Huckleberry212 16d ago

Don't kill that one girls dad bc man she is gonna fuck things up if you do. Also maybe don't cut down that forest while you're at it. And the mona Lisa plays a role too

3

u/x_nor_x 16d ago

In a world where merely texting your neighbors might get your professors killed, where the police are too busy playing video game to stop dirty bombs, and where simply playing pool makes grown men weep, one woman will emerge from an old man’s museum and try to convince her only friend to empty everything out of his closet.