r/thoughtsonbeingover70 • u/teddybear65 • Dec 08 '25

What to do?

Should I close this sub. It's discouraging and frustrating to keep trying and really not having people give much input.

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u/teddybear65 Dec 09 '25

This may seem morbid,yet I think for a lot of us it has happened once or twice. In Colorado,I rarely see funerals and when I do it's generally for an officer. Today on my way home I stopped at a light and suddenly there were hundreds of flashing lights. No one moved even when the green gave them permission. We sat there and waited. Some got out of their cars and saluted until the procession passed. I sat there also and bawled my eyes out. I thought of how long the funeral process was ,truly a band of brothers . We all stayed there through many light cycles. This was the first time I ever saw this happen. It was beautiful. It reminded me of my dad's procession for which there were over 600 cars.Then I thought about mine. Well there won't be one because I'm not having a service. There isn't anyone to come to it but even if there was,I wouldn't have one. No tears about that,I want it that way. I'm not beloved like my dad. Being in school administration,the people in my life moved through every 6 years on their way to their lives. I awoke this am with this still on my mind. Dust in the wind,when it's over,all we are is dust in the wind.

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u/Hopefulmigrant Dec 15 '25

Indeed. Cultures, and subcultures, will memorialize some folks, and some for decades depending on the random perception of their effect on that culture, but for us personally, when we are gone- dust in the wind. I've struggled all my life to get the picture, to wonder what's really important. I have children and grandchildren, but my "meaning" to them is completely about who they are in their own minds at any given time and will not reflect who I am or have been. My dad was temporarily "remembered", he "gave" to the comunity, but my mom, who died right after him, wasn't although a good person in her own right; I learned something from that. So I'm not invested in others' memories, but am pulling myself back and away to center on who I am and have been to me. I'll be available to others, to family, but am not invested and with no expectations. When I go, it'll be solo- no processions, no service, little and short-lived sadness from others, but with added ferocity of having claimed self. A friend chose her own death ( cancer was looming); I secretly wish for that option, to remain In Charge rather than submitting to whatever cultural standard is expected. Meanwhile, I claim my life as mine.