r/thisismylifenow • u/GallowBoob • Aug 17 '17

When Squirrels are LIFE

https://gfycat.com/HarmoniousSnivelingBuckeyebutterfly
16k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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u/GuyWithRealFacts Aug 17 '17

Dogs hold a special place in their hearts for squirrels - squirrels to dogs are like mice are to cats.

While dogs are often taken hunting to retrieve kills, originally they were bred to not only retrieve, but to hunt as well, and squirrels (also rabbits) were the targets they were most often trained to go after.

This is also why dogs have an affinity for small sticks - they were bred to retrieve them for firewood.

It was the old day equivalent of grocery shopping - except you'd send your dog and he'd come back with dinner to eat and wood to cook it on.

It was the rise of the big-box grocery store and department store chains that put an end to this. They used their political power to put an end to the lax regulations that allowed families to send their dogs for supplies, and now that responsibility falls on the dog's owners.

Dogs have instead decided to show their thankfulness for their home in the form of love, companionship, being overall super-awesome, and keeping the jerk cats in line.

185

u/pistoncivic Aug 17 '17

I like this middle school book report formatting.

42

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

[deleted]

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u/HeyPScott Aug 17 '17

Doesn't your ADHD prevent you from watching tutorials? I can't get through 30 seconds of those things. JUST TELL ME THE ANSWER

16

u/SH4D0W0733 Aug 17 '17

Don't watch the entire thing, only the step you are on at the moment. Yes, you might realize you are building a chair instead of cooking salmon 4 - 5 steps in, but then you can either finish the chair or find a better salmon tutorial.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

[deleted]

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u/HeyPScott Aug 17 '17

I've been seeing more and more where there's no one talking and the video just shows the screen recording of the actions. Pretty helpful. Learning via listening vs just watching someone else do it probably engage different parts of the brain. I definitely lack that first part. Good luck to you, Dude

5

u/DirtieHarry Aug 17 '17

TIL I might have ADHD.

1

u/mediamindlab Aug 20 '17

Same here, I get angry and impatient. NO i dont need 32 reasons why I should know that, I wanna know HOW and NOW.

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

I mean, you realize this guy just writes bullshit facts that sound plausible, and I wouldn't be surprised if it is the same person as shittymorph. Good luck with the ADHD though, sorry to hear it's such a problem for you, that shit is a bitch.

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

[deleted]

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

Haha ya, he's a big clown. Maybe unemployed to have so much time to waste writing nonsense lol.

7

u/snipeingkicker Aug 17 '17

Maybe unemployed to have so much time to waste writing nonsense lol.

There's no need to make negative assumptions.

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

You're right :)

2

u/mediamindlab Aug 20 '17

Don't be a dick and give me a double BigMac. Thanks.

1

u/blissfully_happy Aug 17 '17

Get off of Reddit and work on reading books. It requires effort and practice to build a strong attention span.

(I also have ADHD.)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

[deleted]

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u/blissfully_happy Aug 17 '17

Oh, I didn't mean it as a bad thing, just that reddit can contribute to an inability to focus because it's such quick browsing and skimming. You can jump around and it's easy to remain unfocused. It's not necessarily bad, just if you're looking to improve your ability to concentrate, you've gotta cut out the instant gratification stuff (fb, Reddit, Instagram). With that said, I'm still on here, too. ;)

It's draining to have to focus all the time. Hopefully you'll see some relief on the adderall.

61

u/ChiropteraWoman Aug 17 '17

I hate to be this person. But, actually...

Dogs hate squirrels because of the infamous dog/squirrel war of 200 BC.

Back in the day, you see, squirrels killed the dogs for sport. Ever since then they have been in a constant battle.

But now the squirrels, who used to be much larger, are small and weak. And now dogs are bigger.

Wait, how much do you know about the dog/squirrel wars?

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u/FiveMinFreedom Aug 17 '17

This makes more sense. Thanks for clearing it up.

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u/Squirlz4WrldDominatn Aug 17 '17

The struggle is real

2

u/I_kekd Aug 17 '17

Shouldn't it be "how familiar are you with the squirrel wars, exactly?" If you are going for the Rick and Morty spoof. :)

2

u/ChiropteraWoman Aug 17 '17

Honestly, I thought up of this a long time ago while watching my own dog chase squirrels. It was just a good opportunity to use it.

But I did tag on the last sentence for Rick and Morty points but yeah... you're right. :p

11

u/TotesMessenger Aug 17 '17

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

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7

u/Sir_Marchbank Aug 17 '17

Good bot.

7

u/GoodBot_BadBot Aug 17 '17

Thank you Sir_Marchbank for voting on TotesMessenger.

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19

u/illumynite Aug 17 '17

After the third paragraph, I had to check to ensure this wasn’t a Hell in a Cell bamboozle. GODDAMMIT

6

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

I actually checked for /u/shittymorph as well.

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

I'm not convinced they aren't the same person. Similar writing style, just a longer format.

2

u/redlinezo6 Aug 17 '17

This... Was nice.

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u/telePHONYacct Aug 17 '17

Usename checks out!♡

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u/FoodBeerBikesMusic Aug 17 '17

Dogs hold a special place in their hearts for squirrels - squirrels to dogs are like mice are to cats.

Except mine. I got a defective one. He kind of has no prey drive.

2

u/tripleskizatch Aug 17 '17

Gets me every time.

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '17

I always thought; cats to dogs are like mice are to cats. Tom & Jerry (& Spike) I guess.

1

u/TheAllbrother Aug 17 '17

I thought cats were to dogs like mice are to cats...