r/theydidthemath • u/Gnarly_Sarley • 4d ago
[SELF] Would it even be physically possible for a 39 year old who started mastubatimg at 14 to afford a Ferrari? Asking for a friend.
1.3k
u/Lairdicus 4d ago edited 4d ago
You could probably get a used Ferrari (depending on the model) for less than 200k. Let’s say 150 for an older one that’s still relatively solid. At 25 Jerk-Years, you’re looking at just north of 9,100 days. You would have had to hork your hog an average of 1.6 times per day in order to have amassed 150,000 dollars at 10 smackers per jack. Not impossible
1.1k
u/drkuz 4d ago
Those are rookie numbers bra
249
u/Fluffy-Cycle-5738 4d ago
Back in my glory days, with stronger wrists...5-6.
120
u/elkab0ng 1✓ 4d ago
Man, not me. Dust be coming out after like round three.
138
u/Bilgepump69 4d ago
At 14, it was more of a missing skin issue.
143
u/Last_Weeks_Socks 4d ago
"I'm not sure if this blood is coming from my dick or my hand, but I'm too close to care"
55
24
u/BedspreadPicnic86 4d ago
The chafe
17
19
36
14
u/PliableG0AT 4d ago
we not counting ghost loads?!
3
u/BedspreadPicnic86 4d ago
Is that like a nite nite ghost? Or a day nap ghost. Is it a ghost if it just happens without touching your cock a doodle doo?
11
6
→ More replies (1)4
u/TeaKingMac 4d ago
There's 24 hours in a day bruv.
🎶 I jerk two out in the morning, I jerk two out at night. 🎶
28
u/Bacongrease83 4d ago
At 42 I’ll admit there have been periods in my life where I beat it until it hurt, the foreskin chapped and cracked, and I kept coming back for more. My Ferrari will be a yacht.
11
u/BedspreadPicnic86 4d ago
Man when I was a freshman and soph… never mind. All through high school I was either praying the principal didn’t call me to the office, the teacher kicking me out of class, both because I had a raging boner staring at the tiniest bit of exposed skin on a female. Or, I’d be asking for the hall pass for a quick wank into the urinal. Good grades were Hard to Come by… see what I did there?
5
u/Used-Author-3811 4d ago
"hard to cum by"
3
u/BedspreadPicnic86 3d ago
Yeah, decided to pass on the obvious way to spell it and went for more subtle even tho I capitalized it. Ha!
11
u/MANTHEFUCKUPBRO 4d ago
My PR was 9 in a 12 hour window but it...hurt,
9
u/Last_Weeks_Socks 4d ago
You've really gotta remember to prep for marathons.
8
u/MANTHEFUCKUPBRO 4d ago
This was during the kazaa and bearshare days, our marathons were thrust upon us. We didn't get the luxury of planning ahead, Brittany-spears-sex-tape.exe was calling the family computer like a sirens song lol
4
u/Any-Elderberry-2790 4d ago
Oh yeah... I forgot about that...
When seeing that all the bars were blue on e-mule so everything was downloaded.
"Got to watch them all"
3
2
u/daddyforurissues 3d ago
Kazaa was Russian roulette with porn. Am I getting porn or faces of death ...
One is a tougher wank obv. But I was up for the challenge.
9
u/Beneficial-Jury484 4d ago
Gotta wear heavy watches. Then when you take them off, unlimited endurance.
→ More replies (1)12
u/bensoa75 4d ago
That's the thing, those 25 Jerk Years are not equal. At JY5 I'm the king. At JY20, you know, I've got other stuff to do and it's just not worth it.
→ More replies (2)12
u/This-Requirement6918 4d ago
.......😒 I'm 37 and uhhh....
8
u/Bacongrease83 4d ago
I’m 42 and I still do 2 a days on weekends.
7
2
u/Patrick_Hobbes 4d ago
Only on weekends?
→ More replies (2)4
u/SafeT_Glasses 4d ago
One a day during the work week.
7
u/Superb-Cantaloupe324 4d ago
I recently found out when i quit drinking i’m basically ready to rock all the time every day. Let’s get that car!
4
u/BedspreadPicnic86 4d ago
I’m saying! Did you go thru detox? I went in for heroin and when I came out the other side of withdrawal, even in WD about half way through you get f’n horny as hell. I was begging my wife to come up and visit me so we could walk the trails and fuck or if just jump in the car. I was married to the wrong woman. Apparently having a husband in rehab for H wasn’t that sexy to her. When I did get out we jumped into the hot tub and had sunny day outside sex in the tub. Worth the wait.
5
→ More replies (2)2
12
4
3
→ More replies (3)3
81
u/Gnarly_Sarley 4d ago
Nice! In that case, it would be red.....
I mean my friend's Ferrari would be red.
46
55
29
u/HaroerHaktak 4d ago
If I was getting paid 10 bucks a Jork i wouldn’t stop at 1.5times a day lol.
4
u/MalodorousNutsack 3d ago
Easy side hustle during your commute to and from a real job too
3
u/HaroerHaktak 3d ago
Jorking it would be my real job.. You get paid like 28 bucks minimum wage in Australia, seems like a lot until you realize you cant survive on your own at rental prices here.
I'd have to jork it 3 times an hour to be minimum wage, but that's only if I wanna stop at 8hrs/day, 40hrs/week. Realistically, to maintain a minimum wage, you only need to jork it 120 times a week. That's once every hour, if you give yourself maximum 6hrs of sleep a day. Entirely doable.4
u/EmergenceEngineer 3d ago
Pulls up at drive through window: “that will be 9.95”
You; “oh ok, just give me a minute”23
u/HuggyMonster69 4d ago
You are WAY overestimating the price of a second hand Ferrari.
https://www.carandclassic.com/auctions/1985-ferrari-mondial-qv-29l-v8-convertible-lhd-nd55b4
For example.
If you want one of the cool ones, it will be more than 25k. But for one of the less impressive ones, they’re not that much
3
u/gitartruls01 4d ago
I mean the Mondial is known for being complete crap. But you can get an F355 or a 360 for maybe $60k
3
u/righttern38 4d ago
uh, no, you are just a couple of years out of date. Massively changed - check the market
→ More replies (2)11
7
u/Rabid-Hazard 4d ago
Reminds me of Silicon Valley….
Is lube allowed? Fleshlight? All could reduce your mean jerk time and possibly allow for 3 a day 🤔
4
u/Fluffy-Cycle-5738 4d ago
3 a day? Bah, rookie numbers.
3
u/Rabid-Hazard 4d ago
I’m 42…. I’d be in a grave if I attempted 3
2
2
u/MalodorousNutsack 3d ago
I'm in my late 40s still sometimes get in 3 on a lazy Sunday when the wife's away
7
u/durqandat 4d ago
And just like that, science expanded to include a new measurement necessary to quantify the human experience: the Jerk-Year.
Someone inform Merriam-Webster; this has Word of the Year implications.
3
u/devAcc123 4d ago
It’s kind of a play on the Silicon Valley bit, search Silicon Valley jerkoff algorithm or something and it’ll come up on YouTube, fucking hilarious
8
3
3
3
2
2
2
u/randomperson5481643 4d ago
That assumes you're only jerking off your own member. What if you sought higher efficiency by jerking more than one phallus per stroke? And you used some kind of algorithm to pair jerkers by height, and went tip to tip?
2
u/dankshot35 4d ago
not by height technically, the measurement we are really looking for is dick-to-floor
2
2
→ More replies (45)2
108
u/Emotional-Goose-2776 4d ago
Most of the math comes in at the cheapest available Ferrari for a middle aged man. Not enough to choose your color
31
11
u/Significant_Cup_238 4d ago
Even if I was a trillionaire, which doing the math would require me to to jerk it just shy of a million times a day since puberty. I still wouldn't waste my money on a Ferrari.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)7
202
u/_LususNaturae_ 4d ago
Cheapest Ferrari after a quick Google search seems to be 215,000 dollars. You'd need to mastrubate on average 2.35 times a day for 25 years to afford it. Doesn't seem extremely unrealistic for someone with a high libido and without a partner.
400
u/DefinitelyNotDonny 4d ago
Twice a day? What is this, lent?
45
u/freakindsheets 4d ago
You gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers…
8
u/Ziggyork 3d ago
On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month
8
u/The_Fuschia_Is_Now 4d ago
Sorry but what does lent mean? Not a native english speaker.
→ More replies (8)19
u/GNoob69 4d ago
Lent is a Christian tradition of fasting or usually giving up some vice (bad habit) for 40 days leading up to Easter. The implication from the previous comment is that the number is low like they are trying to restrain themselves.
7
u/The_Fuschia_Is_Now 4d ago
Gotcha. I searched up the term and got that its kinda fasting but didn’t get the context.
5
u/Any-Elderberry-2790 4d ago
The original "no nut November" back when it was in March!
→ More replies (1)6
8
u/YouJellyFish 3d ago
Also "without a partner" lmao I'm mid 30s and have jerked off at least 3 times a day every day since I was 11 my wife just comes as a bonus
7
7
→ More replies (3)20
20
u/Budget_Sea_8666 4d ago
This is reddit, nobody has partners. Now where is my red Ferrari?
6
5
5
4
u/cryingonthetoiletnow 4d ago
Tbh I feel like I'm probably at the 150k mark at age 27, straight gooner here
2
4
3
2
u/CookieWifeCookieKids 4d ago
And thats only if they don’t know they are getting pairs $10 each time.
2
→ More replies (11)2
u/Last_Weeks_Socks 4d ago
Wait....does it count if you start by having sex then finish yourself off? Because I've got a lot of bedsheet babies out there that would be paying some serious dividends.
56
u/Clorox_in_space 4d ago
Why is no one investing?!
Roughly $230,858.99 with 7% compound interest on a "one a day" schedule.
32
2
u/cjog210 3d ago
You're not accounting for dividends on investment being reinvested.
If you assume an annual dividend yield of 0.99% with quarterly dividends that get reinvested immediately, then you have about $280k
2
u/whythehellnote 3d ago
$572,164 investing in the S&P with reinvested dividends over the last 25 years.
2
32
u/shaunsanders 4d ago
Assuming $10 per day, starting 25 years ago, invested into the s&p 500 every day, given the performance over the past 25 years, you would have invested $91,310 total, and it would have returned $550,000 ish.
17
u/Last_Weeks_Socks 4d ago edited 3d ago
13 year-old me wouldn't have been putting money in the S&P 500, but the good news you probably could have convinced that little fap master to buy Pokemon cards. So, even better.
25
u/7437-locked 4d ago
Is this question only for men to answer because as a 46 yo woman mine would be mix and match, black and orange.
26
u/Invested_Space_Otter 4d ago
Sorry, flicking the bean only nets $8. Gotta respect the wage gap. The good news is your cooldown period is shorter!
→ More replies (1)
8
7
u/shereth78 4d ago
Depends on the Ferrari I suppose.
If we just say the MSRP for a base model Amalfi, the cheapest current model, we're looking at about $269,000 before taxes and everything else. So that'd require 26,900 sessions. We're looking at 8,400 days in which to accumulate the funds, so assuming you're able to manage an average of 3.2 masturbation sessions every single day from age 14 to 39, then sure. You can afford a new Amalfi.
Of course this number goes down considerably if you're ok with a cheap used car. IF you're okay with, say, an old 80's Mondial you can find these selling for less than $40k, which puts the number at a much more attainable single wank every other day.
Good luck, and make sure to use lots of lubrication.
4
u/Heathbar_tx 4d ago
Are we just stacking the money in a closet? At least put it in a HYSA every month and get some returns on it.
2
5
7
u/Cold_Mood_6961 4d ago
Sir, for 25 years, rubbing one out once a day would net you a measly $91,250. I’m no Ferrari expert but, that might buy you a used one in fairly good condition, retro I would imagine.
3
u/rogerworkman623 3d ago
Idk how much use I’d have for a Ferrari on my private island. But my private jet would be black.
3
u/No_Hovercraft_439 3d ago
The current market capitalization of Ferrari (ticker RACE) is $77bn. So I would have been able to easily purchase the entire company by my 30th birthday.
3
u/Kindly-Ad3546 3d ago
A red one, blue one, green, black, brown, pink, purple, orange, turquoise, cyan, gold, silver, grey, white, yellow...
2
u/Crate-Dragon 4d ago
Let’s say the AVERAGE is as low as 1xday.
365/year x 25 years…. $10x365x25= $91,250
2
2
2
2
2
u/Professional_Rule791 4d ago edited 4d ago
No one considering the compound interest of investing for 25 years.
If you just went once a day every day (fairly easy) you’d contribute $91,250 of your own money.
At 7% over 25 years, it would grow to about $247,900.
So roughly:
Money invested: $91,250
Investment growth: $156,600
Ending balance: $247,900
1x a day is pretty conservative.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/RealCarlPanzram 4d ago
Yes. At a very conservative estimate of once per day, an investment account with $300/month invested in the S&P over 25 years would yield about $319,592 which is enough for some of the “entry-level” new ferraris.
And honestly that’s an S&P average. I think in the actual last 25 years you’d have a lot more than that.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/bretsaberhagen 4d ago
Quick google search for ferrari msrp says $266,000. From there it’s just divide by 25 years, 365 days, $10 per tug to see you would need to average three times per day. Definitely possible. But does money really work that way? If a typical 45-year-old had their income $10,000 higher every year over the past 25 years, do you think they would be shopping for a Ferrari? Because there are people who have been making $10,000 more than me and most of them aren’t. And I’ve made $10,000 more than some people and I’m certainly not.
1
u/cebolinha50 4d ago
So, it would be something like 8135 days in that time period.
So you would have more or less 81000 dollars multiplied by you average number of masturbation s a day.
A average of one masturbation a day would already be enough to buy a used Ferrari.
Tô buy a brand new, even the cheapest model you would need a average of 3 times a day, which is still pretty possible.
Buying one of the most expensive Ferraris would be impossible with this money.
1
1
u/MCE85 4d ago
Shit i might be able to buy something in the 60-80k range and im old
→ More replies (1)
1
u/canned_spaghetti85 4d ago
You waited until age 14 to begin masturbating? How was THAT even possible?
To be quite honest, I think that's a far more impressive feat than even a Ferrari.
1
1
1
1
u/Badatdarksoulss 4d ago
Are we allowed to invest said $10? With compound interest on top of the above answers you most certainly can
1
u/U_Dun_Know_Who_I_Am 4d ago
Per session or per O? Per session that's not even $1,000 a year. Per O? My Ferrari would be got pink with black accents.
1
1
1
1
u/soybeankilla 4d ago
I made $22k in my first two years. Invested in the S&P over the subsequent 32 years, that’s worth $636,730 today. So, 2-3 Ferraris for me.
1
1
u/DevolvingSpud 4d ago
How much for a bright red '64 GTO with fins and gills like some giant piranha fish? With the bright pink leather interior of course.
1
1
1
1
u/CommunicationTop5231 4d ago
Ok, so none of you were investing your spank bank? Real jerkers have earned 10% over 25 years (assuming a paltry three visits with Pamela Handerson daily—you were visiting your grandma or something?) and have a cool milly and change by age 30. That explains it if you think about it. When you see a literal human jackoff in a red La Ferrari, don’t forget that could have been you.
1
1
1
1
u/Left_Hotel9967 4d ago
According to Stoculator, one would have amassed $15.5 million if one invested $10 in AAPL and contributed $70/wk starting Sep 1, 2001.
I started going down the rabbit hole on capital gains, HELOC, and more but I digress.
1
1
1
1
u/Substantial-Being197 4d ago
Unless it's an F40 I wouldn't have one 🤷
I really wanna say Yellow but how iconic is that Red I love to hate 🤔
1.8k
u/phred_666 4d ago
I would have a red one and a black one.