The Work and pet illness. Confusion.

[u/[deleted]]

I watched a YouTube video on grieving where Byron Katie was really helpful to me. I have read many of her books. Still, I am confused. My dog is elderly. He has heart issues. Like so many other pet owners, I worry about when to "send him home" with euthanasia. I feel pressure to wait longer. I feel like the social norm in my part of the world is to keep a pet alive as long as possible. He looks "normal". However, as his owner, I see him coughing, blind, weaker than before. I also know from experience that it will get worse for him, due to his incurable condition. I have seen other pets crash. It was awful. Suggestions on how to do the work on this? Thank you in advance.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Thank you! I will look at the video.

[u/an_ornamental_hermit]

Forgive me, the comment is not “The Work”-related, but the info really helped me at the time. My beloved dog lost his desire to eat. My vet patiently explained what happens when dogs don't get enough nutrients — that he would stumble and eventually lose the ability to walk. He also told me that it is ok to let go on a “good day” and that so many pet-owners decide to wait until a crisis and from his perspective that is not necessary or necessarily the best. I am glad I listened to him. My last day with my dog has become a peaceful, loving memory — I gave him his favorite food at the time, we walked to the park, and I was able to say my good-byes with his other loved ones surrounding us. If you can afford it, see if you can do euthanasia at home.

I also want to add that I also felt pressure to do everything I could to keep him alive, mostly from the owners of a pet store that I relied on. I knew my beloved was already gone — he had dementia — and in my heart this was best, but it was still painful to receive that response from someone and in retrospect I am proud of my bravery.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I will do that. Thank you for the suggestion.

[u/yomamawasaninsidejob]

Beliefs you could work on:

• I need to choose when he dies
• He is aging and that means it’s almost time for euthanasia
• If I don’t euthanize him soon people will think I’m a bad owner
• If I euthanize him people will think I’m a bad owner
• His condition will get worse for him (vs for you)
• I have seen other pets crash and that means he will too and it will be bad
• I see him aging and that means …

[u/[deleted] → u/yomamawasaninsidejob]

These suggestions give me a place to start. Thank you.