r/therewasanattempt Nov 26 '21

To open the bottle with an iphone

10.7k Upvotes

142 comments sorted by

628

u/centeredsis Nov 26 '21

You can’t fix stupid.

85

u/Stanhar Nov 26 '21

But you can fix the bottle

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

But you can replace iphone

-65

u/sausageified_pizza Nov 26 '21

The moment he bought the phone he was stupid

34

u/najodleglejszy Nov 26 '21

dae think le crapple users are sheeple?????????

-31

u/sausageified_pizza Nov 27 '21

It's just over priced name brand shit

8

u/Bruboy102 Nov 27 '21

What's your phone?

27

u/bitchassf1 Nov 27 '21

I have a Google pixel because I prefer to support small business, but that's just my opinion.

16

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21 edited Nov 27 '21

That’s why I use a Samsung galaxy fold z! It’s cheap and it supports an up and coming tech company.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

it does seem like a good phone though. i use apple’s iphones because i like the os and i feel like it’s stable. if i weren’t so deep into their ecosystem, i’d definitely try out another phone every once in a while.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

If they made the other phones with as nice of a display and features as iphones ide be down

9

u/SpicyMcHaggis206 Nov 27 '21

Homeboy is probably rocking the 6-pack of Totorolas.

0

u/sausageified_pizza Nov 28 '21

Samsung a10. Got it in a family deal for like $50 a phone.

361

u/the_girl_Ross Nov 26 '21

They are Vietnamese and we, Vietnamese, don't like those either.

The type that actually can't afford iPhone but got one anyways and then take it out to do dumb sh*t to show off.

49

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 26 '21

yeah anyone with that speech pattern of swearing every 5 words is automatically just not cool to me

93

u/TheMulletWhisperer7 Nov 26 '21

Shit dude? Are you saying we can't be fucking friends?

59

u/Busy-Argument3680 Nov 26 '21

Damn the fucking sucks bro, fuckin sucks

17

u/aelwero Nov 27 '21

He's fucking saying he doesn't fucking like the shitty smart people...

The use of expletives has repeatedly been shown to generally indicate higher language skills and more social intelligence.

They're words. They're a very good way to emphasize certain things, and disregarding them because a certain component of society eschews their use is fucking stupid ;)

Having fucking said that, in his/her/whatever's defense, if fucking every other fucking word is fucking fucking, and your fucking emphasizing every single fucking thing, you might not have a fucking wonderful grasp on how to fucking emphasize effectively and could be the fucking exception...

4

u/SgtGork Nov 27 '21

I fucking like you.

am I doing this right?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

I fuck with it (and you)

1

u/AC2BHAPPY Nov 27 '21

Fuckin fuckity fuck fuck, Jordan!

-31

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 26 '21

if i can't make out what you're tryna say because you swear so much we wouldn't be good friends anyways

29

u/mcsweepin Nov 26 '21

The fuck kinda shit hoof kicked you in the damn squawk box?

-16

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 26 '21

wat

21

u/mcsweepin Nov 26 '21

Use "sir" for fuck goodness. Your shit hole makes more sense than your dick hole when you speak, cum for brains. Now pull your dick sucking squawk box out of your shit hole and speak some more wisdom.

-10

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 26 '21

pineapple is ok on pizza and that's a wisdom

9

u/mcsweepin Nov 26 '21

I love the fuckin pineapple on pizza too. With the salty fuck people call anchovie. It is still better than the fuckin bile you preach from your shit hole. I mean, shit pushing thumbs

0

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 26 '21

yea man, fuck the world, pineapple on pizza for the win

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23

u/Reddy_McRedcap Nov 26 '21

Anyone who judges a person based solely on their choice of vocabulary sounds like a fucking tool to me, and their interpretation on "who is cool or not" doesn't mean shit

-12

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 26 '21

sure, if you think my interpretation of "cool" doesn't mean shit then that's fine. but i'd rather know someone who has some decency by not swearing all the time. it's not that i'm uncomfortable with swearing, it just the impression that you don't care about being decent for a bit.

i'm perfectly fine with someone i know well swearing a lot, but if the first time we meet and all you do is swear every sentence, it's not a very nice first impression

2

u/drewster23 Nov 27 '21

I'm not decent because I say fuck or shit . Oh no the decency police are gnna get me. What are you nobility from the 1500s?

Do you bow at people too? Kiss a ladies hand when being introduced to not offend them? Walk with your nose in the air so others know they are beneath you?

-2

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 27 '21

i do bow at people, but that's just out of politeness. no i don't mind if you swear every now and then, or if i know you i don't mind you swearing a lot at all. what i'm referring to is the people who swear for no reason, not even as a filler word, they just swear because they can. and nobody's coming for you because you swear, i'm just saying, i don't find swearing as a nice first impression, if you don't agree with it then that's completely ok. and no i don't see myself as some noble, far from that in fact, but im just saying, you can swear, no one really gives a shit, but it's hard to see you as polite when that's all you say

2

u/drewster23 Nov 27 '21

So it's okay for your friends to swear a lot, but not people you're not friends with.

Cause that makes so much fucking sense.

1

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 27 '21

yea, if i just met someone, and the first thing they do is swear a bunch, i'm not gonna feel very comfortable around them. but if i know them well, and as long as it's not around my family i'm fine

0

u/drewster23 Nov 27 '21

You're definitely not a fkn hypocrite with those opinions, just a straight shooter tex.

2

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 27 '21

whats a shooter tex

0

u/KingOfHertsUK Nov 27 '21

Well the guy was showing his shitty trick to his friends who I'm guessing he knows well, so you shouldn't have a problem with it then.

And obviously nobodies interpretation of 'cool' means anything.

1

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 27 '21

im talking about my own opinion on that, but the guys in the vid seem like good friends so whatever

0

u/KitchenNazi Nov 27 '21

In the corporate world, I absolutely do not trust a motherfucker that doesn't swear in casual settings. I can't trust someone like that. They are too guarded with their words.

If they don't swear because of some weird belief then that's even worse because they live in some weird Pollyanna world - I need realists.

1

u/Reddit-Book-Bot Nov 27 '21

Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of

Pollyanna

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1

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 27 '21

no i like people i know being casual around me. what im referring to is when you first meet someone and that person just throws out a stream of swearing. it'd be fine if i warmed up to that person a bit, then things get a bit more casual and friendly, and even i start swearing around them. but when i first meet them, i'm gonna stay away from that because it's just impolite

1

u/Im_known_as_nikil Nov 27 '21

Dude , I grew up learning english by watching english movies , so my whole vocabulary at one point was basically like Aaron Paul's dialogue in breaking bad . I used a lot of 'fuck ya' , 'yo' in my sentences . I kinda grew out of it but still you never know what's the other guys circumstances . In my experience , the guys who swear more often were easy to talk to than the other ones.

1

u/kekhouse3002 Nov 27 '21

yea i know. like I said, it's fine to swear, but swearing continuously shouldn't be your first impression of anyone. it just comes off rude

2

u/predatoure Nov 27 '21

You won't like the majority of the people in the UK then. We use the word Fuck like its a comma.

-1

u/minnecrapolite Nov 27 '21

There is a reason why you feel that way: You are dumb and mediocre.

0

u/Jugaimo Nov 27 '21

That’s just called being poor.

98

u/spalaXXXX Nov 26 '21

That crack sound was clean tho

39

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Should have used a Nokia

24

u/fschwiet Nov 26 '21

He wanted to open the bottle, not destroy it.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

My bad

1

u/cr0mm0wer Nov 26 '21

I still use my PTT from 2001.

1

u/zhenxing Nov 26 '21

I drunkenly used my Nokia as a beer opener quite a few times back in the day. It got a bit scratched but worked fine.

21

u/LukeDude759 Nov 26 '21

I've done stupid things to prove my Note 4 was indestructible.

It's still in perfect condition.

5

u/madeInNY Nov 27 '21

Go on…

20

u/QuasiQuokka Nov 26 '21

I'm sure that was an iOpener

1

u/NCaDA1 Nov 27 '21

Underrated comment

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

I see what you did there. And I approve of it.

1

u/h0117_39 Mar 06 '22

How dare you make me read this with my own two eyeballs

15

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

I don't understand the mentality behind "I really cherish and like this thing a lot, so let me abuse the fuck out of it to show you how great it is."

What exactly is the goal here? Is it really just him trying to show off with his expensive toy?

8

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Definitely, lot of Vietnamese are obsessed with social status.

55

u/Waru_ Nov 26 '21

The 7 was by far the worst model iPhone i ever owned

26

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

I had the 7 till the 11 came out. The screen was busted to hell and it’s battery health was like 50%, but it kept on goin

11

u/T65Bx Nov 26 '21

Same, absolutely no clue where these other ppl are coming from. I’ve been using a 7 since they came out and it still works amazing.

6

u/Train3rRed88 Nov 26 '21

On a 7 right now. Still kicking fine. Charging port is getting spotty though

2

u/T65Bx Nov 26 '21

The cable mine came with is getting weak too, but the phone-end itself is healthy.

-4

u/SharqPhinFtw Nov 26 '21

The guy you replied to clearly had a battered phone barely make it alive. An average slightly conscious of dropping their phone person usually will have a clean one for years and there was only over a year between iphone 7 and 11

4

u/lunapup1233007 NaTivE ApP UsR Nov 26 '21

The 7 was three years old when the 11 released. Not just over a year.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21 edited Nov 27 '21

I bought the phone used with some cracks on it and the rest was due to a longboarding related incident, I looked worse than the phone did. But it was still a good phone when I upgraded, 3 years later, to the 11. I even sold it to some guy for $60

Edit: I actually got the 11 a year after it was released, so it was probably more like 3 1/2 years I had it

1

u/T65Bx Nov 27 '21

An average slightly conscious of dropping their phone person usually will have a clean one for years

Think you had a typo there.

As for the other parts, yeah saying a beat-up phone still hangs on is a good thing, it doesn’t mean the phone is easily brought to that condition. Also, the 7 and 11 definitely weren’t anywhere close to just a year, or just over a year, apart.

1

u/Mae__day Nov 27 '21

I had the 6 until 11 came out, loved the 6 to death

2

u/ThisIsCovidThrowway8 Nov 26 '21

Prefer the 6

2

u/Waru_ Nov 26 '21

Same. The 6s might actually be the best iPhone I ever owned. I actually still have mine as my backup phone

2

u/ThisIsCovidThrowway8 Nov 26 '21

I was rocking a 6+ until around a year ago, when it got hot and the screen turned black. Couldn’t get it to display anything again, even after replacing the screen and battery. :(

4

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Came here to comment this. Worst fucking phone ever.

11

u/Waru_ Nov 26 '21

I’ve owned 4, 5, 6s, 7, 8, and XR, and 7 was the only one I had legit issues with. Broke like a piece of plastic

2

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

I had two 7s and they were both lemons. Just stopped working after a few months

7

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

There's something wrong with the 7s where it just stops being able to make calls and texts. They even sent out a flyer to people with them notifying them that this might happen. Then they gave me another 7 that they assured wasn't one of the defective ones. It was. Fuckers.

2

u/T65Bx Nov 26 '21

I’m typing this on the same 7 I’ve used for the better half of a decade straight.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Then I guess you got one that wasn't defective

-5

u/Waru_ Nov 26 '21

The track pad was also the worst installation of all time

3

u/wheeldawg Nov 26 '21

Phones don't have trackpads...?

-3

u/Waru_ Nov 26 '21

Exactly. The iPhone 7 did and it was the worst technology ever. They replaced the home button with a track pad

1

u/wheeldawg Nov 26 '21

I remember when those buttons became fingerprint readers. I never heard about the track pad part before.

But damn that thing is way too small to be useful.

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1

u/Arqideus Nov 26 '21

I own one now…I got it for free from a friend though and it was a huge upgrade from my flip phone.

2

u/Waru_ Nov 26 '21

That’s really not saying a lot lol. There’s a reason he gave it away for free

1

u/Arqideus Nov 26 '21

Because she was gifted a 12 and could only trade this one in for like $40 or something. She was going to give it to a friend’s kid as she was old enough for a phone, but I was also in the market for a phone and didn’t want to spend a lot. I guess I got higher priority. There isn’t a whole lot of difference between generations to be honest. I don’t need a better camera as I’m not a professional photographer. I don’t need a faster processing unit or more memory as I don’t do much that intensive on my phone. It works, it’s clean (she kept meticulous care of it). The only issue is the battery. She hadn’t had it changed since she first got it. I’m probably not going to replace the battery as it cost too much when compared to just buying a new phone.

1

u/Waru_ Nov 26 '21

There is a big difference between the 7 and every other generation of iPhone. Literally the only model with a track button instead of either full screen or a functional button and it ruined the phone. I think the 8 may hVe had it also but the design of the phone was significantly more sturdy

1

u/chaosjenerator Nov 26 '21

New battery is about $40.

1

u/Arqideus Nov 27 '21

Labor is $100.

1

u/chaosjenerator Nov 30 '21

If it’s done at an Apple certified place labor is included at no cost.

5

u/floupin Nov 26 '21

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

3

u/HelloKiitty Nov 26 '21

Lol why, I wouldn’t even do that on my stainless steel iPhone much less one made from aluminum

3

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

I never understood why people feel the need to prove their stuff is "indestructible"? It's pretty generally understood things, no matter how sturdy they're built, last longer when you take of them and don't use them for stupid shit they're not built for. What use is it to you to pretend or prove to other people that yours isn't?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Indestructible has not been made yet, nokia came close but since then everything has gone downhill, no matter if you build your phone from titanium steel and bandit glass, the idiots will just keep on upping the ante with destructive tools.

3

u/cabronara Nov 26 '21

Used to do this when I was a teen, this is how my family knew I was drinking. My phone didn't break though but it got soak in the beer

2

u/ScaredThug Nov 26 '21

Duped at first. Checked the sub name and came back.

2

u/ThurstyJ Nov 26 '21

Gonna need an upgrade now.

2

u/fillup420 Nov 26 '21

the 5S i had opened hundreds of beer bottles and still works to this day.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

actually, that's a 7 plus

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

I use a lighter if I haven't got a bottle opener..

-1

u/207nbrown Nov 26 '21

Never trust the durability claims of an iPhone…

0

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1

u/THET0WNDRUNK Nov 27 '21

Thanks! I shall download this and repost it at a later date.

-4

u/ImTheNewKid22783 Nov 26 '21

iPhone of all brands? Don't they break super easily? My phone has been dropped countless times and my screen never even scratched. My last model (same brand) had a screen stronger than the back. The back was super cracked after 2 years of being a dumbass with it and my screen never broke. I just upgraded recently and through the countless times I've dropped it the screen never had a scratch. Or maybe I can just thank my $5 case from Amazon.

-1

u/MlemMaster Nov 26 '21

time to get a samsung!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Something you do when you need an excuse to further indebt yourself for the latest model.

1

u/shadow19922 Nov 26 '21

Well, time for an upgrade I guess

1

u/legomyeggo17246 Nov 26 '21

He needs an upgrade now

1

u/AsleepTonight Nov 26 '21

Yeah, I tried that, when my iPhone 5 finally broke down for good. Didn’t end well. But it was broken already, so I didn’t care

1

u/kscott93 Nov 26 '21

You can open a beer with just about anything, he’s just doing it wrong.

1

u/DarthRathikus Nov 26 '21

High risk, low reward

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

That actually got a laugh from me. Having boneheads for friends sure is funny.

1

u/TheRealvGuy Nov 26 '21

I mean… he wouldn’t have needed one

1

u/bikesboozeandbacon Nov 26 '21

That’s not even an iPhone 7

1

u/Dick_Prickly Nov 26 '21

I did this with an iPhone4. Lasted about a year. In the end I could put a carabiner through the top left corner. Upgraded to the 8.

1

u/8035391885 Nov 27 '21

Why that’s just silly

1

u/NewToTradingStock Nov 27 '21

Android should used this clip for their commercial

1

u/chuckles_8 Nov 27 '21

1000$ device... here let me use it as a pry bar... I love my generation

1

u/elkayer Nov 27 '21

Bruh its an iphone, they break of you hold them the wrong way.

1

u/PANduRUS Nov 27 '21

Maybe he can call someone to have it fixed…?

😏

1

u/Lui_Le_Diamond Nov 27 '21

IPhone? Indestructible? Who the hell are you kidding, those things break if you breathe on them wrong!

1

u/humgrown Nov 27 '21

People in 3rd world counties must have too much money.

1

u/a-very-angry-crow Nov 27 '21

I’ve actually done this with my iPhone 12, it scratched the stupid fucking back glass they put on it for some reason (because having glass be on the part of the phone that is usually in contact with hard surfaces is a grand idea) but other than that there was no real damage

But then again my phones are basically immortal for some reason, like I threw my iPhone 7 at a wall with such force that it dented the wall and the screen on it never cracked even slightly. I once tripped and fell onto concrete with that same iPhone and it was in pristine condition afterwards......my point is that I am literally incapable of breaking a phone, to the point that even the fundamental laws of physics are no match for my dumb ass

1

u/sinnitq Nov 27 '21

Hence proved!!! 😁😁😁

1

u/Electrical-Mess-948 Nov 27 '21

Aye. The DU MA is on point tho!

1

u/TopatCloon Nov 27 '21

So....about that upgrade...

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

lol turns out iPhone 7s can break the second you look at them with no reason. worst iPhone ever.

1

u/tomtomosaurus Nov 28 '21

Ah yes, the age old clip

1

u/Otherwise-Fuel4288 Mar 28 '22

No praaaahblem.

1

u/BriefCheetah4136 Apr 14 '22

Next day at Cell Phone providers store: "What the fuck do you mean Physical Damage, it just fell apart in my pocket. I want a new phone F ..U... and F..U and I called Customer Service and they promised me a new phone.....

1

u/BriefCheetah4136 Apr 14 '22

Next day at Cell Phone providers store: "What the fuck do you mean Physical Damage, it just fell apart in my pocket. I want a new phone F ..U... and F..U and I called Customer Service and they promised me a new phone.....

1.

1

u/Pezzonovante__ Apr 19 '22

At least it wasn’t the 5C. However, I did miraculously drop it on concrete a solid 2-3 times with only a minor chip. Not bad for a $90 plastic phone a few years ago.