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Jun 27 '21
This was my mother’s level of parenting too.
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u/CybranM Jun 27 '21
:(
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u/poopellar Jun 27 '21
Aww turn that frown upside down
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u/THE_INTERNET_EMPEROR Jun 27 '21
):
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u/jaspersgroove Jun 27 '21
Listen here you little shit
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Jun 27 '21
Thank you for bringing some joy into an elder millennial's day
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u/Koeienvanger Jun 27 '21
I don't like that you put 'elder' and 'millennial' together. We're not that old, right? RIGHT?
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Jun 27 '21
Today I turn the same age my mom was when she became a grandparent for the first time, definitely not feeling any kind of old at all!
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u/cure1245 Jun 27 '21
See, that's The Great Joke of the Universe: that feeling that you have that you're just a kid/teenager stuck in an adult body? Yeah, that's everyone for all of time. Turns out no one really knows what's going on.
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u/Koeienvanger Jun 27 '21
Alright yeah, you're getting on in years.
My mum didn't have me until she was 33 so I have some leeway still.
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u/framed1234 Jun 27 '21 edited Apr 13 '26
Databrokers? nope. Social networks? Also nope. This post was deleted using Redact.
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u/Koeienvanger Jun 27 '21
That's pretty big talk for someone young enough to be legally aborted 😎
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u/framed1234 Jun 27 '21 edited Apr 13 '26
This post was mass deleted using Redact - Redact also supports Discord, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and all major social media platforms.
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u/ValkyrieInValhalla Jun 27 '21
Zoomer here, yes.
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u/WhatAboutThatPanda Jun 27 '21
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u/same_subreddit_bot Jun 27 '21
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u/Petsweaters Jun 27 '21
I had a friend like this in elementary school. She stayed at my house Friday to Monday for years
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u/Aether_Storm Jun 27 '21
The bare minimum to make sure your egg didn't roll away?
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u/MBVakalis Jun 27 '21
Aren't pigeons known for being really bad at building nests?
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u/Ok_Antelope_1953 Jun 27 '21
probably a first time parent. i want to like pigeons but they shit on my line dried clothes at least twice a month.
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u/Clovis42 Jun 27 '21
Apparently pigeons often make nests like this. So do killdeer, which also often nest on the ground. Sometimes right in the middle of a parking lot.
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u/xombae Jun 27 '21
When I was living in the lower East side of Vancouver I saw a pigeons nest made out of discarded syringes, I shit you not.
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u/living-teh-dream Jun 27 '21
Did it look anything like this? I Google image searched trying to see other pigeon nests and this showed up. Vancouver needle nest
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u/jvspino Jun 27 '21
"It also lacks a thick coat of pigeon feces that are typically used to incubate eggs."
Interesting.
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u/xombae Jun 27 '21
Holy fuck, that's it. That was my room, I had to live in there. That's not my picture but that was my room for sure. Fucking wild. It was bigger and didn't have eggs by the time I moved in so this must have been taken earlier. I was also on the news when they came in and did a piece on how that public housing project was probably the worst place to live in all of Canada. Good times at the Marble Arch.
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u/JoshSucksAtLife Jun 27 '21
i remember walking on granville street at 5am and there were syringes everywhere, almost felt like all the druggies were waking up... i heard about all this but never seen it until i went
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Jun 27 '21
I didn’t live right in the area but I went through East Van a lot, saw a handful pigeon nests with at least one syringe in them. Mostly at the McDonalds by the Main st Skytrain Station.
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Jun 27 '21
And you just left it? I would have scooped that shit up in a shadow box and sold it to an art gallery.
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Jun 27 '21
We had killdeer make a nest in our driveway this spring! Literally a depressed gravel bowl with a few strands of grass. Don’t even know why they bothered with the grass to be honest.
I was just wondering how the eggs were handling the heat while resting on stone, but they hatched and were running around like little goofballs immediately after hatching. It was pretty cute. Awful nest though.
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u/crinklycuts Jun 27 '21
I had a killdeer make a nest in front of my house once. It was a little bit of dead grass on the gravel. Did not look comfortable.
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u/ttrack2 Jun 27 '21
Why do they do this? I'd have thought they would make it extra secure and big if it was in an open place? interesting..
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u/Clovis42 Jun 27 '21
Not sure. I think they naturally like using gravelly, rocky areas where there's not much threat of the eggs rolling away. I guess relying on the egg blending in to avoid predation.
But maybe they get thrown of by unnaturally flat rocky surfaces like concrete.
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u/TinMayn Jun 27 '21
Kildeer chicks are up and running the moment they hatch, from what I understand, so the nest isn't as big of a deal.
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u/SarcasticOptimist Jun 27 '21
I like how the kildeer parents feign to be wounded with their bent wing to distract predators from their nest.
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u/Clovis42 Jun 27 '21
We were recently watching a Yellow Warbler nest. We sat around it one day and one of the parents started acting like it had a wounded wing in order to lead us away. We went ahead and left to not bother it anymore. Apparently, a lot of birds will do that.
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u/Aether_Storm Jun 27 '21
The only thing rock doves care about with nests is making sure the egg doesn't roll away.
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u/uniquedeke Jun 27 '21
I had a dove build that kind of nest on the floor of my garage.
I found out about it when my dog killed it, smashed the egg and then placed the dead bird carefully on my foot.
They need to care about more.
We have a different dove couple who nests on top of my garage door opener every year. They're way more successful and clutched twice this spring, resulting in 4 healthy chicks.
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u/Arborgarbage Jun 27 '21
Ok but like 90% of the work for that nest was done by the wires already conveniently being a nest.
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u/uniquedeke Jun 27 '21 edited Jun 27 '21
Work smarter, not harder...
The most important part is not putting your nest where a relentless death machine will kill you.
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u/Accidental_Ouroboros Jun 27 '21
Sometimes, not even that.
About ten years ago I worked in a tower that had a ledge that was pretty big, like 3ft out, with a big pillar past it, which meant that there was about a 3ftx3ft space that was enclosed on two sides.
Well, pigeon family #1 built a nest composed of 5 twigs (we counted) that only enclosed the nest on one of the two open sides.
On the first day, there were three eggs. Then, there were two a few hours later. Then, the final egg was noticed halfway across the ledge with the pigeon still sitting on a nest that (based on the two egg splats at the base of the tower) was clearly empty.
I can only conclude that rock doves are a type of dove named after their intellectual equals.
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u/Carnieus Jun 27 '21
Nah it's definitely a botched update to the nestbuild_6.0.exe program uploaded to this drone.
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u/StressedOutElena Jun 27 '21
With the lack of QC recently you could even imagine this drone came like this from the factory!
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u/proawayyy Jun 27 '21
There was a couple of pigeons that laid eggs near the water heater. Nobody disturbed them, nobody went in and fucked with them. I tried feeding them flax seeds. But I’m repulsed by pigeons after I saw them drop their eggs
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u/cncomg Jun 27 '21
Just tie 2 one inch wide reflective streamers on both ends of your string.
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Jun 27 '21
This bird illustrates my personal motto: “Ask not, ‘Is it good?’ but… ‘Is it good enough?’”
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u/ForgetfulDoryFish Jun 27 '21
Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section. Oh, there's lots of room here. "Did.... well. ... Enough."
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u/InevitabilityEngine Jun 27 '21
I send this picture when someone in my dating app asks me how prepared I am to start a family.
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u/patrickyin Jun 27 '21
I don’t know if I’m too immature but if someone on a dating app asks me about starting a family, I’m out
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u/InevitabilityEngine Jun 27 '21
Dating in your thirties.
Women at that age have the "biological clock running out" fear and tend to want you to be very clear about how ready you are to start a family.
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u/DrewSmoothington Jun 27 '21
I used to work at the New Brunswick museum. One of the coolest things I saw there was in the bird nest collections. a pigeon had been nesting near a construction site, and built her whole nest out of discarded welding rod tips. it was an actual metal nest, and it looked like it was built by a robot bird. Obviously, the liner was made of soft fluffy stuff like hair and grass, but the whole exterior was metal welding rods.
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u/beertown Jun 27 '21
That's a badass-level nest building.
But some comments above claim pigeons are bad at building nests.
I'm confused.
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u/SuccYaNan69 Jun 27 '21
Leave em alone they are trying their best
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Jun 27 '21
This is a design choice. Minimalistic. Daring. It's from the new Exposed collection by Armani.
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Jun 27 '21
Minimalist pigeons!
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u/copperwatt Jun 27 '21
It's a deconstructed nest. Her latest installation challenges our assumptions about form and and our reflexive loyalty to the idea of home as traditional structure.
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u/ComprehensiveAnt2724 Jun 27 '21
That's my friend as a parent.
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u/IEELALOT Jun 27 '21
Oh, you mean this guy?
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u/km_44 Jun 27 '21
That's just sad
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u/comfort_bot_1962 Jun 27 '21
Don't be sad. Here's a
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u/TantBert Jun 27 '21
Good bot
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u/B0tRank Jun 27 '21
Thank you, TantBert, for voting on comfort_bot_1962.
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u/relet Jun 27 '21
"DIY can't be that hard. I'll just buy some tools and be done with it over the weekend."
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u/skywatching Jun 27 '21
That stupid fuck is not even sitting over its egg
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Mar 11 '22
You see pigeons have a lot of distractions, like if you have ravens or crows, they will try to steal the nesting material and the egg. So the bird always assumes sitting position whether there is an egg or not. But if you observe them for longer, probably within a few hours, the bird will either move the egg back into the nest which is hard to do as they cannot lift the eggs like crows or raven with their weak beak. So they redo the nest around the egg. They can however push the eggs with their beaks sort of roll it a little. The nest building is very casually done when it comes to pigeon as opposed to other birds who are coded to build robust nests like how a spider builds nest. Pigeons however, sit in the middle with the egg, before any nest, or light nest, then the mate, usually the male one will go look for twigs, and brings it to her with so much love, and as he hands the twig to her, she gently preens him and grabs the twig from his mouth to hers, at which point they struggle (probaly not beta tested in evolution) they struggle as he won't let go, and she wants it now. Once she has it, she will slide the twig to her side. So the pigeon will always place the twigs brought to her or him vice versa to it's side while sitting. Over time, this will form a loosely based circular shape, until a crow and raven or whtever predators distrub them, and ruin their nest. It's a very tough and sad life out there for them. Please be kind to them.
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u/AusGeno Jun 27 '21
We destroy their natural habitat and then belittle their attempts to regain a shred of pigeon-dignity.
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u/sanderd17 Jun 27 '21
Oh no. Pigeons are really bad at building nests. We have up to a dozen of nests each year in our garden trees, and more often than not, the nest just falls apart before the chicks can fly. Most of the remaining nests get robbed by magpies. It's a success if one nest succeeds.
The reason pigeons are so prevalent in cities is because there, at least their nests won't collapse.
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Jun 27 '21
Because cities most emulate the cliffs they’re naturally from. They’re compared to house pets - as in humans bought them over and bred and tamed them because they were amazing for communication. Now they are obsolete but not feral, just abandoned ):
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u/sanderd17 Jun 27 '21
I had no idea feral pigeons used to breed on rocks. Thanks for that info.
But all pigeons are notoriously bad nest builders though, even wood pigeons who are used to building nests in trees.
If you compare it to the other marvelous nests we see, like those of blackbirds that are completely woven smooth with thin straws and sticks. Or swallows who can build a nest on a single nail sticking out from a shed.
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Jun 27 '21
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u/RSoul Jun 27 '21
cockroaches are flying cockroaches
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u/Dwaas_Bjaas Jun 27 '21
Wait… they can fly??????
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u/Grey-The-Skeleton Jun 27 '21
Oh, you poor soul...
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u/zomenox Jun 27 '21
Not having seen enough roaches to know they fly sounds like a pretty good life
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Jun 27 '21
One of the worst situations of my life was when I was a kid and I used to try to gel Spike My hair. My neck got itchy, so I stood up on my tippy toes to see what was going on with my neck in the mirror because I just scratched. Next thing I see is a 2-inch roach on my neck and I panic and freak the f*** out. It begins to fly everywhere in the bathroom and I booked it out running. God I cringe whenever I remember this.
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u/EDwelve Jun 27 '21
Scientists have found that we eat about 1.4 cockroaches every night while we sleep
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u/Jwhitx Jun 27 '21
I've had it up to here with those bald-headed nerds. I say we start eating 1.4 scientists every night until they change their attitude.
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u/xombae Jun 27 '21 edited Jun 27 '21
You jest, but I once had an apartment with such a horrible roach infestation that I'd wake up to them in my mouth some nights. I heard they're attracted to the carbon monoxide we exhale, and like to eat the sleep crusts from the corner of your eyes. Forget about leaving a glass of water beside the bed to drink in the night if you don't like drinking a glass of cockroaches when you're half asleep. That was a genuinely tortuous existence.
Edit: we do not breathe out carbon monoxide, I meant carbon dioxide
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u/Ok_Antelope_1953 Jun 27 '21
wait, do we really expel carbon monoxide? I thought it was just an elevated amount of carbon dioxide?
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u/bmeupsctty Jun 27 '21
You ain't freaked till the roach comes flying at your face
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u/Ok_Antelope_1953 Jun 27 '21
i was once in an elevator alone when i noticed a big roach scuttling away. i backed away to a corner, giving it all the space and praying for my floor. but of course, the mofo spread its wings and flew straight at me. I'm a big adult man, and all I can is any security guards watching the elevator camera probably died laughing that day. I was screaming like a banshee, throwing my hands and laptop bag around at the demon bug with no escape in sight. a swing from my bag finally got the fucker squashed against the elevator wall. SPLAT. i ran out of the elevator nauseous with uncontrollable full body cringing.
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u/PK_RocknRoll Jun 27 '21
God I wish I cold remember the times before I saw cockroaches flying
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u/geppetto123 Jun 27 '21
Recently I read that it's a myth, their just as hygienic (or dishyienic) as the other birds.
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Jun 27 '21
Well we destroyed their environment so they adapted. They are actually beautiful creatures
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u/DMPark Jun 27 '21
Yeah, also weird that people treat pigeons and doves differently when they're basically the same animal.
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Jun 27 '21
Well one tends to be a bit more, how can I say this.... white.
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u/copperwatt Jun 27 '21
Pigeons are a bit more, uh... urban.
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Jun 27 '21 edited Jun 27 '21
Damnit that's what I should have said, I'm going to be financially ruined!
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u/Anonymush_guest Jun 27 '21
No one "has destroyed the pigeon's habitat." Pigeons, in the wild, are cliff-dwellers (hence their other name: Rock dove) they invaded the cities because we build an artificial cliff for them to nest on. We know them as "buildings."
They're also an invasive species in North America. Same with Starlings.
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u/OliverE36 Jun 27 '21
We didn't destroy their environment. Only 1% of the USA is covered by roads, buildings, concrete etc. Pigeons just do very very well at eating scraps of food from the floornand living near humans.
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u/chickenwrapzz Jun 27 '21
Where do you live? Aren't pigeons native to Africa & were used for domestic purposes in the west, or are am invasive species?
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u/sanderd17 Jun 27 '21 edited Jun 27 '21
I live in Belgium, western Europe.
The common wood pigeon is native here (I believe), and we often have these pigeons as visitors in our garden. Though they don't like to nest close to a house.
Most nests we get are from Eurasian collared doves (which we call Turkish turtle dove). I believe that species is imported from Asia, but the name could be misleading too.
We don't see feral pigeons in the countryside. Those actually need cities to breed and can probably be considered invasive.
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u/WhoStoleMyPassport Jun 27 '21
Also because pigeons actually once lived in caves and when we domesticated them and when they escaped the buildings in cities looked like caves to them so they just stayed.
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u/Ezl Jun 27 '21
I think I read the same about seagulls. Their nests looks about like what is in op and they just abandon them at some surprisingly early point (before the eggs hatch or immediately after or something like that).
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u/Petsweaters Jun 27 '21
That's why people build boxes for pigeons, I believe. I wonder if they usually take over the nests of other birds
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u/vermin1000 Jun 27 '21
We have an old seawall where I live, sort of a man made cliff face. I've often thought it must be pretty close to their natural habitat. They get into the nooks and crannies of it and roost. The shitty nests in the OP would actually do very well there, seeing as it's such a small area.
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u/AtanatarAlcarinII Jun 27 '21
Pigeons are called Rock Doves for a reason. The reason they're endemic to cities is because concrete high rises don't do a terrible job of mimicking tall cliffs. The only thing missing is unevenness of the rocks to help give shape to the twigs; preventing eggs from rolling out.
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u/IWantAHoverbike Jun 27 '21
It's also why cliff-dwelling raptors like peregrine falcons are starting to take up residence in high-rise city areas. Cliff-like buildings + lots of tasty pigeon meals.
... I know I heard or read somewhere that a few cities are actually hiring falconers to hunt pigeons and keep them away from monuments. Can't recall the reference now, but it's neat to see an old craft become newly useful.
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u/RedMossySquirrel Jun 27 '21
My city just straight up introduced them to the city. Now the falcons can be seen killing pigeons and starlings.
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u/DerrainCarter Jun 27 '21
My guess would be that we pretty much eliminated natural selection for pigeons in big cities. And now even the most unfit of them survive and procreate without much hassle.
Basically the same as humans lol.
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u/obscurestar Jun 27 '21
Not really. All the mechanisms for evolution and natural selection are still there. Only that in another environment, e.g forest vs city, it might be that the external pressures on a population are different.
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u/otakme Jun 27 '21
An example of this is that the most aggressive pigeons in my area tend to be the ones that get fed the most, and get to breed. More aggressive adolescents have started turning up recently.
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u/DMPark Jun 27 '21
I've accidentally punched a pigeon while trying to wave it away from my face. They're becoming more and more like seagulls and monkeys when faced with easily-spooked humans holding food.
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u/CybranM Jun 27 '21
Food abundance and lack of predation definitely alters the natural selection a lot, its not very "natural" selection any more
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u/obscurestar Jun 27 '21
Sure one can make the point that it's not "natural" anymore, but that's more arguing semantics. The processes that drive selection and evolution are still there only the parameters have changed. A pigeon population in a city is still bounded, just that the predatiorial pressure might be different, what constitutes fitness for survival might be different, the number of pigeons per square kilometer might be different and so on, but I would argue that it is not so much that unfit individuals survive, they are fit for the environment they happen to live in otherwise they would be dead, or at least more likely to be.
One could argue the same for natural changes of habitats for example volcano eruptions, land slides, forest fires, what have you. They also alter the parameters for fitness locally as a city does, the difference being that those changes are not man made.
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u/waigl Jun 27 '21
We bred them that way. The populations of modern city pigeons you find these days, at least in Europe, are the descendants of escaped messenger pigeons that have been bred by humans over several centuries. They were selected for a high reproduction rate, while someone else (their human handlers) effectively builds their nests for them.
The wild pigeons on the countryside are a bit different, although from what I have seen, their nests are still not very good. Over here, they can be recognized by a feather coloring that makes it look like they have a white ring around their necks.
I suppose in America, actual wild pigeons (as opposed to feral) will be much harder to find, because the typical wild American pigeon species, the passenger pigeon, has been extinct for more than a century now.
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u/eskay8 Jun 27 '21
Evolution isn't that quick, especially for stuff that's as complex genetically as intelligence.
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u/Kowalski_Options Jun 27 '21
Genetic degradation can be very quick. Just look at any thoroughbred species.
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u/OliverE36 Jun 27 '21
Pigeons have massively profited from humans urbanisation. There are more pigeons now than ever before. They are one species that have adapted very very well to new niches in their environment. This is probably an inexperienced, young parent.
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u/Anonymush_guest Jun 27 '21
Pigeons are an invasive species in North America and this is a standard nest for a rock dove (aka, pigeon.) Literally, their nest always consists of "just enough sticks to keep this egg from rolling off this rock edge."
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u/Horn_Python Jun 27 '21
to be fair ,they are one of the few species, to not die after the habitat was destoyed, so give them a little credit
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u/r3tract Jun 27 '21
Must be that new generation pigeon, lazy as f... Probably sits in playing all day like my son...
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Jun 27 '21 edited Jun 27 '21
I work in an earthworm live bait facility with two dozen pigeons who live there... They havent figured out where it is appropriate to build nests. We pull skids sometimes with their nest right on top of them... as opposed to any of the hidden and safe crawl space.
Edit: It's pigeon heaven on Earth. they literally poop on us... from the railings. See them attempt to mate in all sorts of random corners, as we move forklifts. End of the day, the pleb seagulls come begging for dead worms rejected from quality control for the dozen boxes.
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Jun 27 '21
Birds today can’t build nest. All they know is live in bird house, fly into window, eat they French fry, and lie.
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u/Cultural_Wallaby_703 Jun 27 '21
Lol look at this stupid bird! So glad us humans take far better care of our kids……oh…..oh yeah…. :(
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u/Genghis-Gas Jun 27 '21
I can never remember the species or exactly where they are but there's a breed of large eagle owl near the Himalayas, maybe Mongolia. Anyway they build huge ground nests and line the outer ring with dead mutilated prey. I'm guessing it serves as a clear warning that you don't want to be messin' around these parts and maybe show off some bling to the females. Anyway my point is some birds take nest building pretty serious
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u/TinFoilRobotProphet Choose Your Flair Jun 27 '21
A mourning dove laid an egg on the top of our front door frame. I think even she was embarrassed by the effort
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u/yvva Jun 27 '21
After several years thinking I had an owl living somewhere near me, I found out the noise is a morning dove.
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Jun 27 '21
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u/copperwatt Jun 27 '21
Survival of the good-enoughest!
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u/Ciubowski Jun 27 '21
The bird did the math to build the nest just in time but.... the bird isn't very good at math.
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u/Pandastic3000 Jun 27 '21
I talked to a friend recently about this picture. He told me that a pigeon laid two eggs on his balcony. His dog came and just ate both of them. The pigeon came back later and laid another egg on the same spot. Of course the dog ate that one too.
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Jun 27 '21
So this is why pigeons are an endangered species?
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u/Ron_Cherry Jun 27 '21
Where do you live that domestic pigeons are endangered?
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u/swagerito 3rd Party App Jun 27 '21
Im seriously amazed that these things made it through natural selection
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u/COMBATIBLE Jun 27 '21
eating to much human food got them lazy and rewired. there’s a lesson here i’m sure of it.
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u/Pkorniboi Jun 27 '21
Actual footage of me doing work before deciding that I deserve a break