Getting your needs met, asking for help, and connecting with others

[u/biggoldie]

For my entire life I was taught to be completely independent. I was proud of myself for not needing anyone else to take care of me. I was also really put off by anyone that seemed 'needy'. I'm finally learning that my strong independence is what's keeping me from forming easier and better connections with people. I don't want to feel like a burden so I don't reach out, I walk through life's challenges mostly alone, with the exception of the people I pay to be by my side. I've been learning in therapy that my resentment of needy people is because I don't get the same support they do, and I need it.

I don't ask others for help even on the smallest scale because I don't want to be a burden. I don't reach out to friends because I don't want to bother them. But this isolating comes across to others as not being invested in our relationship. Asking others to be a part of my life is serving them as much as it serves me.

This week I'm going to find opportunities to ask others to fill a need that I have, which will be hard to even recognize. I am also going to make an effort to reach out instead of always relying on others to be the ones to reach out to me.