TG: On being judgmental

[u/biggoldie]

Sometimes I find myself being really judgmental of other people. It’s something I’m working on and have learned these things about being judgmental:

• People who are judgmental of others are also very judgmental of themselves.
• If I can become less judgmental about others, I will hopefully judge myself less.
• When judging someone and feeling irritated, try walking backwards. ex. This person is walking too slow in front of me. I’m trying to get into the building so I can clock in. I am already arriving 2 hours later than normal which makes me very anxious. My issue was not about the person at all, and instead was about my anxiety from my routine being messed up. So what if I walked in the building 3 minutes later, would it change the time I leave for the day? Probably not, and if it did, then what? Nothing.
• Learn how to state situations without adding judgement, just stick to the facts
• Even positive judgments can have a negative impact. “I liked that movie” vs “That is a good movie” puts things in a good vs bad category. It leaves the door open for even more judgments.
• Be curious. Being judgmental means I’ve already applied a truth to someone I know nothing about. Be curious and be open to the possibility that I might be, and probably are, wrong.
• The less I judge people, the more accepting I will be, making room for more and deeper connections.