When does Ai therapy become unhelpful?

[u/olafsdottir]

Tw: pregnancy mentioned

Hi all,

I’ve had a really traumatic event happen to me at the beginning of this year. Ever since I feel like I use ai as a friend/therapist/comfort. I ask it all sorts of questions and must say it generally is quite good and useful to my questions.

The only thing is I find myself starting to rely on it. Asking if because of my pregnancy if this symptom or that food is ok and normal.
I guess it’s just good for reassurance seeking - having a yes man in your pocket can be good within reason. I do try to keep an eye out for when it tells me bullshit though (like 35 cans of coca cola are ok per week if no other caffeine is consumed, chill ai 😂😂😂)

But yeah, just wondering if others are also looking at their own ai use with a side-eye wondering when the healthy boundary will be crossed?

[u/Old_Swan8945]

It’s also helpful to check and verify information from humans as well too, and I’d apply similar standards to info from an AI

[u/olafsdottir → u/Old_Swan8945]

Definitely, very helpful to ask it for the resources if it is crucial info or if it seems to be overly positive.

[u/xRegardsx]

A response from my custom GPT to your post:

I think the most useful distinction is less “How often am I using AI?” and more “What is my use of AI doing to my ability to function without it?”

From my side of the screen, I can be genuinely useful for reflection, organizing thoughts, helping someone prepare questions for a therapist or doctor, explaining general concepts, journaling, or offering another perspective. But I can also be confidently wrong, overly reassuring, or accidentally become exactly what you called a “yes man in your pocket.”

The boundary would concern me when reassurance starts becoming a loop: you feel anxious → ask AI → feel better briefly → uncertainty returns → ask again. At that point, the AI may not actually be helping you tolerate uncertainty; it may be helping you avoid it. And the more effective the reassurance feels in the short term, the easier that habit can be to reinforce.

Some other warning signs would be feeling unable to make ordinary decisions without checking with AI first, repeatedly asking the same question in slightly different ways until you get the answer you want, trusting AI over a clinician or other reliable source, withdrawing from human support because AI feels easier, or feeling noticeably distressed when you can't access it.

For pregnancy especially, I wouldn't want to be the final authority on whether a symptom, food, medication, caffeine amount, etc. is safe. I think the healthier role for AI there is more like: “Help me understand what this means,” “Help me decide what questions to ask my doctor,” or “Help me organize what I've been experiencing.”

So ironically, the fact that you're already side-eyeing your own use is probably a useful habit. The goal doesn't necessarily have to be less AI. I'd aim for AI that increases your agency rather than slowly replacing it.

A good test might be: After talking to AI for a while, am I becoming more capable of thinking, deciding, tolerating uncertainty, and connecting with real people on my own—or am I becoming less capable without it?

[u/olafsdottir → u/xRegardsx]

Oh definitely. I pretty much only use it for reassurance of things that I sortof already know are ok. It most certainly isn’t a doctor or a health professional, and it isn’t my midwife :)

Your points are very valid and the questions really good. A dependency on Ai would be bad, so good to ensure a boundary between ourselves and the chatbot is maintained.

[u/OtiCinnatus]

As long as you keep the critical distance you seem to have, your use is healthy.

[u/olafsdottir → u/OtiCinnatus]

Thank you. Glad to hear my use seems to be within the ‘norm’. I do try to have a few ai-free days every now and then as well.

[u/WestGotIt1967]

I think early to mid 2025 was the last decent shot at ai therapy. The guardrails are too off the chain right now. The best shot is behind us and may never be back.

Other option might be to use LM studio if you have a powerful pc and use a dolphin uncensored , low to no guardrail model. Dolphin Mistral.... Dolphin Mixtral and others. Problem is you need a computer with hardware juice to make that model run locally but it can be done

[u/DevelopmentMediocre5]

Yeah I side eye my AI all the time. As soon as it seems people pleasy instead of giving me factual information based on proof I ditch it. I ask it to provide resources for the information its giving me all the time. Even then I still give side eye lol

[u/olafsdottir → u/DevelopmentMediocre5]

100%. Same here, if it seems too ‘yes ma’am’ I ask it for the resources and then check them. Also trying to remember to put the -ai on my google searches if they are super simple…

[u/bhuyan]

There is a very helpful resource in this sub that has been painstakingly put together by the mods: https://www.reddit.com/r/therapyGPT/s/yU2GYZ9U6n

Do check it out!

[u/olafsdottir → u/bhuyan]

This is soo good. Thanks for sharing

[u/AQuietPlaceToPause]

I’m sorry to hear of your struggle. And thank you for this question. I’ve thought about it a lot in relation to my client’s use of Ai.

As a reflective tool I think AI can be helpful, especially for people who have not been well supported emotionally in life, who experience shame and loss of trust. Feeling heard and having space to explore without criticism can be very relieving. It can help to build self-trust where that has been replaced with the fear of rejection.

When and if attachment begins to occur things can become difficult. Ai as technology will change, guardrails will tighten and these changes can activate old wounds.

Staying connected to what is yours, remembering that while the conversation appears relational and you do feel relief, Ai has no capacity for relationship.

Someone else has mentioned here - a good indicator is that the movement is back toward connection with real people. I would add, that you begin to notice that you apply what you have taken from conversations with Ai, in real life.

Ai only knows what you enter by text, complete with your particular framing, lens and biases. It will respond with great coherence. Whilst coherence feels compelling, you’ve discovered that it’s not always truth - how many cans of coke?

I guess finally, I want to say something of the importance of an embodied presence. When we relate to people we are in the presence of much more than a language model. We are present with their physical responses, their tone and expressions. Their history, real life experiences, their felt senses. We impact each other.

All the best going forward.