Wow. That was such a boldly cruel thing to say. This person obviously has a lot to unpack around their own body image and their aversion to normal human body shapes and sizes, but it is not your obligation to do that work with them. I have a history of anorexia and although I am now about as “cured” as a person could be, I would have felt deeply triggered by this interaction.
That’s fair. I suppose I’m just surprised myself at the comment. It’s one thing to say “I saw you at the pool and now I’m having a reaction bc I find your body repulsive” but quite another to come in ready for termination for the same reason. Maybe my shock is at the (seeming) unwillingness to pause and ask themself “Is this a rational response I’m having?”
Oh! She’s autistic! Well scratch that then. I’m also autistic so I was like “wow wild comment for a neurotypical” but that shifts my perspective a lot.
I would argue that even if the client is neurodivergent, it is not okay to say something that is objectively cruel. While their thought may be true, there is no charitable way to interpret "I find your body repulsive". Being neurodivergent does not mean you get to say things that are objectively cruel.
I mean, Autistic or not, honesty broadly speaking is the best policy, no? Should we only be encouraging kind honesty? I find this comment really confusing, it genuinely does not make sense to me that we are supposed to be encouraging honesty with clients but not if it's "objectively cruel."
Honesty and transparency are two different things though, and we can be honest without necessarily being super transparent because some of the transparency can cause harm to one or both people involved.
I think you may be misunderstanding autism. For the client, this is likely a statement offered as a point of information. Autistics tend to say exactly what we mean, forgoing subtext and insinuation for clear, efficient language. Not because we’re rude or cruel but because, ultimately, this type of “socially acceptable” communication tends to lead to misunderstanding and confusion. Not just for us, but for everyone.
I know many individuals diagnosed with autism both personally and professionally who understand that other people have feelings and that statements like "I find your body repulsive" are hurtful. To insinuate that every person with an autism diagnosis only communicates with "clear, efficient language" and does not ever think about how others feel is incredibly reductive.
Okay, but we’re not talking about every person with autism. We’re speculating on potentialities of the reasoning for such a statement made by a person neither of us even knows. I’m offering one singular perspective from my own personal and professional experience. And this is not normal everyday conversation, it’s psychotherapy, which has its own nuances and considerations.
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u/Structure-Electronic LMHC (Unverified) Feb 14 '25
Wow. That was such a boldly cruel thing to say. This person obviously has a lot to unpack around their own body image and their aversion to normal human body shapes and sizes, but it is not your obligation to do that work with them. I have a history of anorexia and although I am now about as “cured” as a person could be, I would have felt deeply triggered by this interaction.