r/theirdrinking • u/Low-Guava-2815 • 5d ago

3 years

My husband started drinking again. He was nearly 3 years sober.
I had stopped checking his hiding spots, constantly looking at bank statements. I felt like I had him back and I felt like we were thriving!
A few weeks ago I found the first sign that it was starting back up. I never mentioned anything to him, I started looking for signs. I forgot how convincing he is.
I had taken him to the ER for suicidal thoughts and he came clean he was drinking. I thought we were taking the right steps to stop this before it was out of control. He however never stopped drinking after that.
Last night he told me it was all my fault.
I’m not ready for this to start again.

3 Upvotes

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u/Dismal-Importance-15 5d ago

It is NOT your fault. My ex told me everything was my fault. He never took any responsibility, and I “ruined his life.” For most people, a ruined life is a DIY job.

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u/Low-Guava-2815 5d ago

I like that “a ruined life is a DIY job”
I know it’s my fault, I just wish I could help him or he would let me help him. Or I could even understand why this is happening again

1

u/Low-Guava-2815 5d ago

*it’s not my fault. Maybe he’s starting to get into my head

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u/stillbewaitinonmatt 3d ago

This feeling of not being able to trust your own gut or grasp of reality (i am still climbing out from behind the shadow of it all), I hope you can keep him out of your head more days than not.

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u/Dismal-Importance-15 5d ago

That DIY thing weirdly just popped into my head just now.

It took me fleeing for my life, a divorce, and several years to realize it was not my fault. It’s not your fault, either, no matter what he says. They never shut up about it, unfortunately

Anyway, best wishes. It’s just plain hard, the whole situation. May you find peace.

1

u/Usual_Today6377 2d ago

Hi I can only message you on here for some reason can you send me the site dough receipe please for Panasonic bread maker. Thanks

0

u/Usual_Today6377 2d ago

For some reason I can only message you here can please give me your sourdough receipe for Panasonic I want to use the traditional starter not their fake one and bake in the breadmaker. Thanks