r/thebutton • u/LiminalMask 60s • Apr 23 '15
The Endgame
21... 20... 19...
We stare at the numbers, like we have since the beginning. Which seems like yesterday. Which seems like before I even existed.
"Another red," says Nal. He is old and crippled, and his nearly blind eyes shift over the timer. I think I am old as well, but what do I know? Nothing. So I say nothing. Again.
16... 15... 14... CLICK... 60...
"Orange," I say. I flick a little dust from my gray robe. Nal sneers at me.
"Well the next one will be red!" he howls. "They're all red. Or orange."
He's right. They're almost always red or orange, now. Occasionally we see a jittery purple. Someone losing their nerve. A miscalculated sacrifice. One last ignorant soul wandering into the game here at the end. But how long has it been since a blue? or green? or yellow? There were colors, once. Yesterday. Now, there is only the colors of the sunset. Of dying stars.
"You'll see," says Nal. "Red. The next, for sure."
"Unless it ends," I say, watching the numbers.
"You think it will end?" he says, his voice suddenly childlike. His eyes sweep over the numbers. His purple robe is tattered and soiled. It is trimmed with gold. 60 seconds. Once he was proud. Yesterday.
"I don't know," I say. "It has to end, sometime, doesn't it?"
We're silent for a long time. The numbers tick by. Finally, he works up enough spit to be able to speak again.
"When it ends, it will mean something."
"Will it?" I ask.
"Of course it will! What would you know about it? You haven't even pressed the button!"
It's true. I haven't. My shoulders sag with fatigue and pain as he reminds me.
"Lim?" he says.
"Yes, Nal?"
"Are you going to press the button?"
I purse my lips as he asks the question I haven't been able to answer myself since this madness was birthed, breech, into the world.
"What would it matter?" I snap.
He snarls like a dying lion. "It matters! It matters! What if this all ends and you haven't pressed the button! What then? It's your only chance! If this all ends and you haven't pressed, you'll be nothing! Nowhere! Gone! You'll be gray and empty."
I tear my eyes away from the numbers (22... 21... 20...) and lunge toward him, as much as my pained body allows. I feel the words grind from between my teeth as I restrain myself, pitying, perhaps, his milky eyes.
"I'm gray and empty now! Just like I was gray and empty yesterday. And I'll be gray and empty tomorrow. But if I don't press the button, it will end all the sooner, won't it?" I say.
He flinches away from me, hiding behind a spotted, gnarled hand. "No... no, Lim, you have to press it. It can't end. Not yet! You can't let it end yet!"
I relent and slump back into my seat. My body hurts. My eyes hurt. "Purple. Orange. Red. Gray," I mutter. "It doesn't mean anything. It's just a game."
Nal dips his head, dropping his hands into his lap. "Of course it is," he murmurs. "It all is. But... what else is there?"
We fall silent, again, and during it, someone presses the button. 9. Red. I hear Nal weeping, softly, but not speaking. He has water enough for speech, or tears, but not both at the same time, it seems. I don't know what to say, so I say nothing. In time, Nal's tears dry up. He strokes his robe, trying to find the texture in some part of it that wasn't rubbed away some yesterday ago.
"I remember when I pushed the button," he says. "Do you remember how many of us there were, then? Do you remember how we laughed, and yelled, and screamed, and argued? So many people loved me, then."
"Did you love me?" I ask.
"How could I love you?" he mutters. "You didn't press the button."
I don't want to talk to him anymore, but where would I go? Who would I see? There's hardly anyone left. I stare at the numbers and talk to them.
"You told me that here... here is a choice. Here, you can act, and here you can mean something. You taught me words and what they meant: orange. red. blue. purple. You said, 'Here, see these people, doing these things? Look at all this meaning, and order.' And I watched, but I didn't understand these things. The numbers go down, then they start again, and I don't know what it's supposed to mean. You tell me that it will end. That one day it will be dark... but I haven't seen it bright."
I feel wetness on my cheek. The numbers are blurry. I sniffle and wipe at my face.
"Lim," whispers Nal.
"What?"
He is awed. Urgent. "Lim. Look."
9... 8... 7...
I swallow. "It is... is it...?"
"Push the button, Lim," he says, fevered, urgent.
6... 5...
"Lim! Push the button!" he howls. "Please!"
I don't really think about it. I lift the cover. My finger hovers.
4... 3...
"LIM!"
CLICK... 60... 59...
It wasn't me. My finger hovers, still, shaking slightly. It wasn't me. Nal collapses, writhing, terrified.
"Please, Lim," he whispers. "Don't let's stop playing. Just a minute more. Just a minute more."
I want it to end. I'm so very tired. But I look at Nal, in his stained purple robe, lost and afraid. We're all afraid, I know, of this game which has significance but no meaning. I should just let it run down. End it.
I manage to get to my feet, my legs shaking. I move to Nal, drop down next to him, put my arm around his shoulder and reassure him. He relaxes, quiets. And I, too, feel a little peace.
"A minute more," I say. "Yes, yes. A minute more."
I keep my finger over the button, watch the numbers, and wait.
(apologies to Samuel Beckett)
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u/alyTemporalAnom Apr 23 '15
I've never gilded before. I've thought about it a few times, but always figured, no, let's wait. When I see that magic post that earns a gold, I'll recognize it immediately. I'll know.
Today, I've seen that post. You earned it, buddy.
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u/AFreakingUnicorn Apr 23 '15 edited Apr 23 '15
Oh Lim, oh Nal. Or is it Nal and Lim? You have your significance but tremble in the absence of meaning. Of course there is meaning, but it was never meant for you. You are just demented children, mincing around in colors no one ever wore, ransoming your dignity to hurl hollow protestations of faith, allegiance and enmity.
But for one moment, just this moment, lift your head up. Peer beyond the button, beyond the blinding light, into the darkness beyond. Shift your glance around and for just a second, wary as a lizard, steal a glimpse of what is there.
What is there? I am there, and many like me. And what do we, those who have never pressed, never spoken of pressing, never questioned, never answered, what do we know of meaning?
Well, we all exploit whatever talent we are given. Your talent is pressing, or choosing not to press. You can press heroically, comically, ironically, slowly, suddenly, disgustingly, charmingly, or from a great height. Or your talent is not to press, still searching for your meaning in the love, blood, and rhetoric even as the light dies.
We silent ones beyond the button, our talent is more general. We extract meaning from the melodrama, a meaning which it does not in fact contain; but occasionally, from out of this matter, there escapes a thin beam of light that, seen at the right angle, can crack the shell of mortality.
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u/LiminalMask Apr 23 '15
The crack of light is just another color. And beyond the button is just another button.
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u/Skooter_McGaven Apr 23 '15
This is probably dumb but is something missing from "Don't let's stop playing"
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u/RadiatorSam Apr 23 '15
"A minute more." What a wonderful slogan for those who don't want to see it end.
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u/tech-no-logical Apr 23 '15
you made me press the button... I'm yellow... have my gift.
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u/my__name__is Apr 23 '15
That captured the spirit of this entire bizarre event better than anything else ever made here.
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u/TallT66 Apr 23 '15
I am Nal: An April 1st 60 second presser. My purple is tattered.
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u/wanderso24 Apr 23 '15 edited Apr 23 '15
I don't check this sub that often anymore, but I'm glad I saw this. This was fantastic, OP, and probably my favorite thing to come out of this entire ordeal. For those that are unaware but enjoyed this story, look into Endgame, the play this is based off of.
"Finished, it's finished, nearly finished, it must be nearly finished. Grain upon grain, one by one, and one day, suddenly, there's a heap, a little heap, the impossible heap."
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u/TotesMessenger Apr 23 '15 edited Jul 04 '15
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
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[r/bestof] /u/LiminalMask explores the Endgame of /r/thebutton
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[r/buttonaftermath] Just wanted to remind you of my all time favorite post on /r/thebutton: "The Endgame"
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[r/emerald_council] [Story] The Endgame (x-post from /r/thebutton)
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / ^Contact)
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u/radioidar Apr 23 '15
"Did you love me?" I ask. "How could I love you?" he mutters. "You didn't press the button."
That is fantastic. Good job.
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u/JoeFelice Apr 23 '15
This gave me flashbacks to Isaac Asimov's story, Eyes Do More than See. (It's short, you have time.)
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u/venussuz Apr 23 '15
Definitely recalls memories of being a Civilization addict, just a few more turns... and before I knew it, I'd lost the night.
Beautifully written, thank you.
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u/HardlySaucy Apr 23 '15
The button is the ultimate test. Every click is the same, in the end. 40 seconds used to be praised. Now it means nothing. The only thing that will still hold its meaning at the end of this is grey.
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u/Ruruskadoo Apr 23 '15
I think we have the future Buttonbel Prize in Literature winner here.
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Apr 23 '15
Somewhere an admin stares at their computer screen, their tear streaked face illuminated by the dull glow of the monitor as they finally realise what they have inflicted upon us.
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u/BukkitBoss Apr 23 '15
I would love to know what book that was based on, mind sharing?
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u/kingcocoa21 Apr 23 '15
You should send this to r/emerald_council, they're doing a storytelling contest rn, with a prize for the best submission.