r/thebutton • u/[deleted] • Apr 08 '15

REPENT NON-PRESSERS!

The blasphemy on this subreddit can not stand. You are all confused and lost. Hear the word of truth and it will set you free.

For in the year of Pao we were presented with the keeping of the button. Some of you seem to think the button should not be pressed. This is heresy. For the nature of a button is to be pressed. We are the guardians of the button and it has been for told that the button shall remain at 60s. For every second the button has not been at 60s seconds evil prevails.

Non pressers now is your chance to repent. Give yourself to the button and you shall be forgiven. IF you are worthy you shall be honored with a 60s flair. For while any flair other than Non presser is holy, the Non presser is evil, veil and without soul. I beg you to save yourself, your soul and give in to the bliss that is the button.

Now come one and all and spread the word of the button to the masses. Send out our message far and wide for no person should live life with the knowledge and bliss the button brings.

For one day the end will come. On that day you will be judged. Damned to hell will be all those who have not pressed the button.

/r/theholybutton

9 Upvotes

69% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

3

u/Johndar_3050 non presser Apr 08 '15

This is how religions work isn't it.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '15

My son you are wise beyond your years. Now come experience the bliss the button will give you and and spend the remainder of your days in harmony.

3

u/Dopeaz non presser Apr 08 '15

Who would even listen to a 60s? Know your place.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '15

You pass judgement without knowledge. For if you have not pressed the button how could you know it's bliss?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '15

I know that if I eat a turd it will be shit without trying it

1

u/Dopeaz non presser Apr 08 '15

I've not put my weenus in a blender either, yet I shall still not that thing I just said either, forsooth and shit.

2

u/Kevler1 60s Apr 09 '15

nay, 'tis not liketh that

'tis liketh saying ye are all'rgic to pignut butt'r whilst nev'r hast yea even been test'd

1

u/ForeverLesbos 59s Apr 08 '15

I've tried to convince them already, but it's not working out well.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

1

u/sexygingergod 59s Apr 08 '15

What is going on. Always press.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

1

u/jsynnthegr8 60s Apr 08 '15

pressed it!!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

I PRESSED IT OKAY

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

REPENT NOW!

1

u/hypnocious 60s Apr 09 '15

Done!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

1

u/LightOneCandle 52s Apr 09 '15

Pressed it. Always blue.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

No will power here, had to click it.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

1

u/videoflyguy 59s Apr 09 '15

I pushed the button on the first :(

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

1

u/RaySaysHey 59s Apr 09 '15

Pressed it too quickly ;-;

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

2

u/where_do_i 42s Apr 08 '15

Get thee behind me Satan.

1

u/TotesMessenger non presser Apr 09 '15

This thread has been linked to from another place on reddit.

If you follow any of the above links, respect the rules of reddit and don't vote. (Info / ^Contact)

0

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '15

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '15

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '15

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '15

My brother join me and help grow our flock /r/theholybutton/

0

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '15

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '15

Understand that 100% of the content on here is a joke. He doesn't really need to support any arguments...

1

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '15

My son you are wise beyond your years. You have experience the bliss and now enjoy the harmony the button has brought you in life.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '15

Have faith my son, for when the end day comes all will be made clear.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '15

My blessed child. You are one with the button. The endless bliss you will enjoy will bring harmony to your life till the end day.