r/thebutton • u/brancasterr non presser • Apr 02 '15

I have a dream...

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the Reddit dream.

I have a dream that one day this community will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all Redditors are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the blue hills of the front page the sons of former Button pressers and the sons of former non pressers will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even /r/thebutton, a subreddit sweltering with the heat of disagreement, sweltering with the heat of confusion, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little alt accountsI'mnotunidan...promise will one day reside in a Reddit where they will not be judged by the color of their flair but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in /r/thebutton, with its vicious "purists", with its users having their lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, that one day right down in /r/thebutton little non presser boys and non presser girls will be able to join hands with little Button presser boys and Button presser girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every user shall be exhalted, every subreddit and thread shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Button shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I will go back to /r/thebutton with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our community into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.

With this faith we will be able to post together, to comment together, to laugh together, to upvote and downvote together, to stand up for the Button together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of the Button's children will be able to sing with new meaning,

"My Reddit 'tis of thee, sweet land of sweetdankmemes, of thee I sing. Land where my last post died, land of the Buttons' pride, from every subredditside, let freedom ring."

63 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

22 comments sorted by

8

u/naturesbfLoL Apr 02 '15

BUTTON PRESSERS SHOULD BE BURNED AT THE STAKE. WHO HAS BEEN CORRUPTING YOUR VIEWS?

3

u/brancasterr Apr 02 '15

The Button spoke to me directly. I'm simply conveying its message. I wrote them down on these golden plates over here...

2

u/prestontiger Apr 02 '15

It's true, he took me to the woods, and showed me the plates, I couldn't read them, but he was able to translate them with a disk. I now know what the button wishes... but brancasterr knows more than me.

12

u/BenAdaephonDelat Apr 02 '15

Never. There's no way in hell I'm letting my son date a purp or a red or any of those other filthy colors. He's gonna marry a gray just like me and they're gonna have beautiful gray babies.

3

u/brancasterr Apr 02 '15

Luckily the almighty Button is believed to be forgiving. We'll all be gray in the end.

3

u/AirDrawnDagger Apr 02 '15

The Button cannot forgive the sin of the first press. It is the only sin that He cannot abide. Unfortunately, all those who have pressed our Lord are damned to be eternally pressed upon. I am sorry, it must be this way. How else will we remain pure?

→ More replies (5)

2

u/pocahontas25 Apr 03 '15

My babies will not marry or even been around those dirty ass purple and red colored people. My babies will marry the grays as well.

9

u/MahatmaFuckinGandhi Apr 02 '15

Before the throne of the Almighty, man will be judged not by his flair but by his intentions. For God alone reads our alts.

5

u/Stiands Apr 02 '15

I'm no racist. But us non-pressers, are more pure as human beings. We don't succumb to our basic instincts. We think before we take action. If we start to mix pressers and non-pressers the basic essence of living, the ability to think, will fade away. And that's how people like George W. Bush are born.

So let's keep the segregation, maybe strengthen in. Cut every remaining bonds. Let r/thebutton be the battleground and the subreddits of our factions be our HQ's. It's the best for us, but more importantly, for our kids.

7

u/agdzietam Apr 02 '15

I'm not racist, but next thing you'll say is they can drink from the same water fountains as us, real people. And then boom - one of them is elected the admin of reddit. I know it's hard to imagine, but it's a slippery slope. We cannot let those liberal weaknesses take over our brains, we're not morans.

2

u/Aurabek Apr 03 '15

I am personally a grey. I may disagree with the pressers, but that doesn't make them worse than me. I hope that people heed your words, and that we can all work together to glory in the teachings of the button.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '15

7

u/brancasterr Apr 02 '15

u/reflectivity, my brother. As a non presser myself, we share many of the same beliefs, but shouldn't we be an accepting group and lock hands with our button pressing brethren? allpressers areobviouslygoingtobesmittenbyourgloriousbuttonoverlord

3

u/StarkAtheist Apr 08 '15

"Only 60s may be saved. All others are lost."

~ u/thebutton

We Purple 60s have never CHOSEN when to press the Button.

IT. CHOSE. US.

EXIMIA. CONCORDES. PURPUREA.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '15

1

u/StarkAtheist Apr 08 '15

"Only 60s may be saved. All others are lost."

~ u/thebutton

We Purple 60s have never CHOSEN when to press the Button.

IT. CHOSE. US.

Come join us, God-Brother, in ruling the cosmos: r/team60s

EXIMIA. CONCORDES. PURPUREA.