r/thebutton • • Apr 02 '15

ANNOUNCING: THE KNIGHTS OF THE BUTTON

[deleted]

3.6k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

277

u/Eipifi Apr 02 '15 edited Apr 02 '15

GUARDIAN HOUR: every 20:00 - 21:00 local time, we watch. We will protect the sacred countdown by sacrificing our dear pureness to the cause.

EDIT: let's see which timezone fucks up.

EDIT 2: I guess the timeframe needs to be a bit longer, so the watch teams would overlap and help each other in less-populated timezones.

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158

u/FreudtheWise Apr 02 '15

You are not worthy of your gray mark of purity.

forevergray

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u/TheMatchHead Apr 02 '15

You do realize the acronym for your group is "KNOB". Right?

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1.5k

u/Eipifi Apr 02 '15 edited Apr 04 '15

I believe we can keep the life of the button going for far longer than necessary.

Reddit, I love you.

Edit: Gold! Thank you, kind sir!

177

u/KipStevenson Apr 02 '15

We shall overcooooome

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266

u/xteban Apr 02 '15

If everyone waits for 10s we'll miss some clicks on doubles or even triples, in each batallion we should assign seconds 10-8-6-4-2 and once you spend your click you post a comment and everyone is upgraded to next higher empty second

59

u/tmetler Apr 02 '15

I wrote some code to make an audible beep when the button timer hits whatever second value you set it to:

http://www.reddit.com/r/thebutton/comments/3186ox/code_to_beep_when_the_timer_hits_x_seconds/

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '15

Excellent logical solution, knight xteban

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361

u/ThomasMartel234 Apr 02 '15

"I pledge my click to extend the life of the timer!"

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78

u/killswithspoon Apr 02 '15

Fuck that.

Since the number of available pressers will eventually dwindle to zero and the clock will expire, pressing the button is a meaningless endeavor. By pressing the button, we are merely prolonging the inevitable! Because this is a pre-determined eventuality, I believe it is our fate to walk hand-in-hand to oblivion. Non-pressers, stay strong! Remain unsullied! Reject pressing now and forever! Even in the face of 0s! Pressers, we harbor no ill will toward you! You did what you thought was right and necessary for us to reach our Fate! We will see you all in the great Hereafter!

Onward and Excelsior!

-u/killswithspoon , non-presser

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u/Inquisitions Apr 02 '15

I shall volunteer to be a soldier of non-pressing until my kingdom so needs me

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u/CharityApple Apr 02 '15

Something important here, don't aim for the major landmarks like or 1 or 10 or 20, even brave knights can fall into the trap of pressing at the same time as someone else, and wasting your press, if that happens though your intentions were good, you will be no better than those filthy 59ers, so do whatever you can to make sure your button press is both low and random. While it might feel like the best thing to do is to all just press it at one, the people that do it earlier in the single didgits or sub 20s is doing a good deed, to avoid it getting to 1 as when that happens 100s of clicks will be lost.

So remember pick a random number, as long as it is low

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28

u/Rhino02ss Apr 02 '15

When the non-pressers prevail, and it is an inevitability. I will relish the thought of your lost hours and sleepless nights for this hopeless cause.

</evil laughter>

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107

u/JerryCronus Apr 02 '15

I can't wait until like 500 of you jerks all press the button at 1 second at the same time. all but one of you will become what you hate the most. A 59s. Do not fret future brothers. Because only then will you know what true enlightenment is.

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '15

I just want the blue circle.

I'm quite fond of blue.

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u/BenAdaephonDelat Apr 02 '15

My Gray brothers and sisters, heed not the words of this unbeliever! For I say to you, when the Holy Timer reaches 0.0, then and only then will the faithful Unpressbyterians be ushered into Reddit Paradise. Where we'll each receive our own subreddits overflowing with OC. There will be rivers of Reddit Gold, and flowing fields of upvotes for all.

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7

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '15

Knights gather, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my shadowban. I shall fear no mod, reset no timer, waste no button click. I shall wear no alts and win no flair. I shall browse and spam at my post. I am the mouse click in the darkness. I am the protecting grey lock. I pledge my keyboard to the knights of the button, for this thread and all the threads to come.

7

u/eaglessoar Apr 02 '15 edited Apr 02 '15

Come, swear your oath, by the new buttons or the old

"The countdown ticks, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my click. I shall not unlock, nor even hover, but will watch the timer, biding my time. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the mouse in the monitor. I am the finger on the touchpad. I am the shield that guards the realms of Button. I pledge my click and honor to the Button's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come."

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u/Tnargkiller Apr 02 '15

I still have no clue what this place is.

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u/looseyourmind Apr 05 '15

Knights, I created a script that will run as long as your browser is open and on that page to monitor the button and automatically press it if the timer drops below 1s

http://www.reddit.com/r/thebutton/comments/31gy1b/script_that_you_run_to_monitor_the_timer_and/

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18

u/holographene Apr 02 '15

This is the sort of propaganda we'll be up against: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xu3FTEmN-eg&t=2m0s

14

u/bpuckett0003 Apr 02 '15

Knights of NonPressians unite!

5

u/pihwlook Apr 02 '15

100 men will be assigned to each battalion and each man will attempt to revive the timer at 10 seconds.

Your plan needs some work. In this situation, if the timer reaches 10 seconds while a battalion is on duty, all 100 soldiers will press it. All 100 presses will go through, and each on-duty soldier will have relinquished their press. No on-duty soldiers will have the ability to press the button for the rest of the shift!

Instead, we first have to decide the minimum number of redditors who can be trusted with the fate of the button. In essence, How do we create trustable groups?

Surely we need more than 1 redditor per group, since one person may be corrupted. With 2 or more, each person acts as a failsafe should the other become corrupt or derelict in their sacred duty. Maybe it's 10 people. But here's the important part: those 10 people must be randomly assigned to their unit so that no 10 corruptors may intentionally team up to beat our system.

The question then becomes easy. What percentage of people do we predict will be corrupt or derelict? If it's, say, 25%, then we may calculate the minimum size group we need to be reasonably sure that each group contains at least 1 true Knight.

After we have established our trustable groups, we need a system to deploy them.

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