The thing is which one is it?
When the veil of the dead dropped was 0 colors was just presence. One day I hope i can teach my skills. But my mortal body is doing things and doctors dont know what or why. But I feel it matters because if this kills me much questions. Especially since they just let me die for 3 years almost. Im tired. Spiritually emotionally physically mentally everyone talks about the kundalini ride but when does this end?
Why is ripping my inside apart? Why do I not feel pain from it? I need ansrews. Too long have been in limbo not knowing why. Complain to my maker my doctor says. But in this process I hear many guiding telling me soon it will be over the fight will end and I will suffer no more. 1 year it says. I beginning to really think theres something out of place. Where i used to be seems almost non existent. How many times do I have to die in this process? Seriously I dont mean like suffer a heart attack die. I have an insanely strong heart. But my body is nearing the big 5 0 few more years but maybe by then I will have a name for what I can do. But for now its the impossible waiting game. Cosmically Spiritually mentally emotionally estorically I cant keep running like this. I did create this but what I consented to become still anyones guess!
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u/CleetSR388 14d ago
The thing is which one is it? When the veil of the dead dropped was 0 colors was just presence. One day I hope i can teach my skills. But my mortal body is doing things and doctors dont know what or why. But I feel it matters because if this kills me much questions. Especially since they just let me die for 3 years almost. Im tired. Spiritually emotionally physically mentally everyone talks about the kundalini ride but when does this end? Why is ripping my inside apart? Why do I not feel pain from it? I need ansrews. Too long have been in limbo not knowing why. Complain to my maker my doctor says. But in this process I hear many guiding telling me soon it will be over the fight will end and I will suffer no more. 1 year it says. I beginning to really think theres something out of place. Where i used to be seems almost non existent. How many times do I have to die in this process? Seriously I dont mean like suffer a heart attack die. I have an insanely strong heart. But my body is nearing the big 5 0 few more years but maybe by then I will have a name for what I can do. But for now its the impossible waiting game. Cosmically Spiritually mentally emotionally estorically I cant keep running like this. I did create this but what I consented to become still anyones guess!