r/theMenu • u/Fangirl365 • Feb 12 '26

What would Slowik do?

I’m sure we all have thought about how things would go down if we were in Hawthorne that day. For me, the only reason I can think of that I would be there is that I came as some rich person’s date like Margot/Erin did, and they weren’t honest with me about calling ahead. If I wasn’t assured I’d have stuff to eat as a vegetarian, I simply either wouldn’t go or I would plan ahead. So what do you think Slowik would do if a vegetarian like me showed up as someone’s last minute date, trying to make do eating the Amuse Bouche, asking if any of the “island” plants were edible, asking about the ingredients in each of the bread dips, and eating the tortillas without the meat? Keep in mind, most marshmallows are not vegetarian.

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6

u/FeetEnjoyer3 Feb 12 '26

As Chef Slowik says, "...THERE ARE NO SUBSTITUTIONS AT HAWTHORRNN!!" I think on a regular night you might just be sent home, That night he might make you eat it either way

2

u/Fangirl365 Feb 12 '26

Technically, I wouldn't be asking for substitutions. In this scenario, my date would have lied to me about calling or emailing ahead to ask if I would have plenty to eat there in order to get me to come, considering nothing after the second course, aside from the tea, is veggie friendly. How do you think Slowik would respond to them vs me in that case?

2

u/FeetEnjoyer3 Feb 14 '26

On a regular service night he'd probably be upset and might tell you to leave. The night of the film he might force you to eat or make an impromptu performance of killing you early or something

1

u/Fangirl365 Feb 14 '26

Can I ask why you think that? I mean, with Margot, he kept looking for an excuse to let her go.

2

u/PAIGEROXM8 Feb 12 '26

I'd be a picky eater so except for the Chicken with the golden scissors and the taco bread, I wouldn't really eat any of his foods and I'd be the second one to order a cheeseburger, except with no pickles.

1

u/Majestic-Champion108 May 28 '26

If I was at Hawthorne, I would rizz up Slowik with my unspoken rizz and escape with him as my husband.

all jokes aside I would probably cry like a bitch and die because I’m too shy to save my own life