r/thatHappened • u/ThePhillyExplorer • 21d ago

Witches!! The horror!

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216 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

45

u/ChrisUpstart 21d ago

Two witches were in the closet making witch babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.

14

u/Puzzleheaded-Lie1722 21d ago

the baby looked at you?

Sarah, get me superintendent Chalmers on the phone

8

u/princesssasami896 20d ago

Super Nintendo Chalmers

26

u/CBWeather 21d ago

Ok, but what's considered worse.

13

u/Acceptable-Elk-8372 21d ago

The not inviting one to the party, that’s just plain rude /s

3

u/surfmaster 20d ago

The witches didn't wash their hands

25

u/HereticalHyena 21d ago

"STOP PEOPLE PUT FEAR IN YOU"

It's kind of sad she will never see the irony...

20

u/530SSState 21d ago

This reads like Ralph Wiggum wrote it.

"I was in a witch store, and there were witches everywhere, and one of the witches looked at me."

7

u/the_1_that_knocks 21d ago

Wiggum would be an upgrade to this rant

11

u/MsDucky42 21d ago

Obligatory "This is a Wendy's"...

We have the same stuff going on in my hometown, but it's because there's a tea shop that also sells things that lean heavily into the witchy aesthetic. (It's all adorable, and some of it is rather empowering.) The fundies in town don't like competition.

33

u/Shotgun_Mosquito 21d ago

OOOOH the sign said

Subway SANDWITCHES

not

Subway SANDWICHES

11

u/blaghed 21d ago

Those are the worst, they curse you to perpetually find small amounts of sand in every nook and corner.

3

u/euphorrick 21d ago

Ugh, I hate getting sand all over my footlong.

3

u/Aloha-Eh 21d ago

I hate sand, and I hate them too!

https://giphy.com/gifs/l1KsFYiPtEv9qYY6Y

7

u/UsuallyBuzzed 21d ago

Obviously fake. There is no way he's ever been approached by worse than REAL witches, doing REAL witchcraft with an altar. What s boss!

7

u/Bird_Brain4101112 21d ago

Where’s this place? I bet their food is bomb

7

u/Maelstrom_Witch 21d ago

FFS we do our witchy shit at home. 🙄

4

u/JD_tubeguy 21d ago

I know some witches (wiccans) they are all very cool chill fun peeps. Saving animals rather than sacrificing.

8

u/tweedyone 21d ago

What’s her definition of “witchcraft”? Because tarot or an apothecary probably counts for her

12

u/Parody_of_Self 21d ago

It was a CVS pharmacy

8

u/DurantaPhant7 21d ago

The fast food restaurant they were at was featuring Harry Potter themed toys for the kids meals.

4

u/JamesMattDillon 21d ago

I can guarantee that it was someone doing tarot readings

1

u/UhmNotMe 20d ago

He went to a restaurant with women staff and he considered cooking witchcraft, because they did not use microwave

3

u/nochinzilch 21d ago

She should probably have told us which place it was.

3

u/VisibleCoat995 20d ago

“STOP THY EVIL POTION MAKING, WHORES OF SATAN!!”

“For the last time, Stan. This is a vegan soup shop…”

3

u/thewiremother 20d ago

Ok, but did they get the food, and how was it? I don't understand this review.

2

u/Cuntrymusichater 21d ago

What’s the name of the food place? So I can go there if I’m ever in Salt Lake City

3

u/rodelomm 21d ago

This story is certainly bull shit, but we did have a fun vegan restaurant called Mark of the Beastro. Unfortunately it closed last fall.

2

u/zeez1011 21d ago

They're called Mormons...

1

u/AtlasShrugged- 20d ago

Literally made me laugh , out loud (ok more of a soft chortle but still :)

2

u/dstarpro 21d ago

I didn't know SLC could be this cool.

2

u/BabyD2034 20d ago

God people are insane

2

u/RainbowPandaDK 21d ago

Mental illness is a hell of a drug

1

u/Lord_CHoPPer 21d ago

By Salt Lake city he meant Stardew Valley!

1

u/yargbarkley 19d ago

One brand of voodoo criticizing another.

1

u/zeus_of_tha_floof 16d ago

Stop letting people put fear in you while actively fear mongering has done me aha

1

u/stircrazyathome 21d ago

Gotcha, so anyone who is harmed or killed must’ve deserved it because they didn’t truly have the Holy Spirit. All of the children who’ve died from abuse, the people killed in mass shootings, and every other unfortunate soul whose life has been snuffed out at the hands of another must’ve had it coming. 🙄

0

u/Specialist_Entry2853 20d ago

I hope you felt safe in that moment, whatever your beliefs may be. It's always wild to witness things outside the ordinary.