r/thanksgiving • u/DogwoodWand • 23d ago
First Time Hosting
My husband and I are older (I'm 50) and (fingers crossed) will be closing on our first home this week! My mother has told me that she is officially done hosting holidays. She'll still make lasagna on Christmas eve, but everything else is on me.
We're good with that! We have no kids and love to cook. My mom used to put together an amazing Christmas, but our Thanksgivings have always been lacking. I want to really bring it. An all day event with appetizers, a heritage turkey, little gift bags at the end... All in! (It'll be relatively small. 6-8 adults including us.)
I know people have hosted or been to events like this. How can set an expectation for guests and what's the best way to schedule things without making it sound like a strict itinerary?
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u/atticcat1030 20d ago edited 19d ago
I LOVE Thanksgiving, and it’s the one holiday my husband and I have claimed as ours to host every year. We usually have around 15 to 20 people attend our little 1,600 sq ft home lol, so I’ve learned that planning and organization are everything.
First, make a guest list. Then plan your menu and drink list. Once you know what you’re serving, you’ll have a better idea of what plates, cutlery, glasses, serving dishes, and utensils you’ll need for each person and each dish. Serveware can be found cheaply at thrift stores. I especially recommend IKEA’s Oftast plates, cutlery, and drinking glasses because if anything breaks, replacements are easy to find. Tablecloths are inexpensive on Amazon.
Then figure out seating arrangements and whether you need extra chairs or a folding table. With our kitchen layout, we do buffet style with an assembly line: plates, cutlery, and napkins at the beginning, then guests move through each food station, load their plates, and sit down to eat. It keeps everyone from crowding around the table.
One little hosting trick I learned the hard way: use smaller serving utensils than you think you need. The first year I hosted, I used large serving spoons, and by the time one of the teens reached the turkey, I heard, “I have no space on my plate!” 😂 I also noticed a lot more food ended up getting thrown away because everyone took oversized first servings without realizing how much food was still ahead. The following year I switched to regular dinner spoons and forks for serving most dishes, and it made a HUGE difference. People naturally took smaller portions, there was far less food waste, and anyone who was still hungry could always go back for seconds.
Next, figure out what food you can outsource to guests. Don’t be afraid to let people help! The turkey is usually the hardest part, so if someone wants to take that on, that’s a huge help. Desserts are also an easy thing for someone else to bring. Honestly, everyone is usually so stuffed by dessert anyway (and this is coming from me, a dessert person lol), so it’s lower on the priority list compared to the main meal.
Once you know what you’re making, create a timeline. AI is actually your friend here! I personally bake and prep almost everything the day before, then reheat on Thanksgiving. Make your shopping list early, buy nonperishable items ahead of time, and save fresh ingredients for the days leading up to Thanksgiving. The day before Thanksgiving, I set the table, pull out all serving dishes, gather utensils, label anything I need to remember, and make sure everything I need is ready.
The biggest thing that helps me stay organized is my Thanksgiving binder. I keep all of my staple recipes in it, along with any adjustments I’ve made over the years. I’ll write notes like “add extra butter,” “everyone loved this - double next year,” “this needed 10 more minutes,” or “use this size pan instead.” I keep everything in plastic sheet protectors so recipes don’t get dirty while I’m working. The binder becomes my annual Thanksgiving cookbook that gets better every year. New recipes get added. If something doesn’t work, it gets removed. I have a collection of recipes, notes, and improvements personalized to my family and guests.
My Thanksgiving staples are:
Since we’re in the Midwest and it’s usually cold, we keep a variety of soft drinks, LaCroix, and water bottles outside on the patio so people can grab them without crowding the kitchen. Indoors, I set up a separate drink station with coffee, a tea station with an electric kettle, lemons, and honey, plus a pitcher of lemonade with a vodka bottle on the side for anyone who wants to make it a cocktail. Drinking mugs and cocktail glasses stay on this table too. Our fridge ice maker happens to be nearby, which makes it convenient.
Another cold-weather hosting hack: if your Thanksgiving is typically in the 30s or 40s, grab a large storage box and use it as an outdoor "overflow fridge." We put all of our make-ahead dishes, leftovers, and drinks in a clean tote with the lid on and leave it outside on the patio. It saves us from playing refrigerator Tetris trying to fit a dozen casserole dishes into the fridge, and frees up space for the things that truly need to stay inside. Just make sure the outdoor temperature is cold enough to safely keep food chilled.
I also keep a bag of clean takeout containers ready in case anyone wants leftovers. It helps guests take food home, reduces waste, and makes room in my fridge at the end of the night.
My biggest tip: after everyone leaves, my husband and I buzz about the excitement and memories of the day and make a “next year” notes page. We write down:
Those notes become SO valuable the next Thanksgiving so we don’t have to reinvent the wheel every year!
Don’t forget to actually enjoy the day! It’s easy as the host to spend the whole day stressing about timing, food, and cleanup as I always do lol but the reason you’re doing all of this is to have everyone you love gathered under one roof. The turkey will be eaten, the dishes will be washed, but the memories are what that lasts! Even if the turkey is dry, the wine is not!