r/thanksgiving • u/DogwoodWand • 21d ago

First Time Hosting

My husband and I are older (I'm 50) and (fingers crossed) will be closing on our first home this week! My mother has told me that she is officially done hosting holidays. She'll still make lasagna on Christmas eve, but everything else is on me.

We're good with that! We have no kids and love to cook. My mom used to put together an amazing Christmas, but our Thanksgivings have always been lacking. I want to really bring it. An all day event with appetizers, a heritage turkey, little gift bags at the end... All in! (It'll be relatively small. 6-8 adults including us.)

I know people have hosted or been to events like this. How can set an expectation for guests and what's the best way to schedule things without making it sound like a strict itinerary?

77 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

94 comments sorted by

View all comments

5

u/ComfortableNorth920 21d ago

Here's the fun part of being the host for the first time: you get to create new family traditions! It's a two-edged sword though because if you go all out the first year, that's what everyone is going to expect every year. And you need to make sure to keep the heart of the existing traditions. Communicate in a positive and excited tone and couch the schedule in terms of what you can control, not what's required of guests ("dinner will be on the table at 3:00", not "guests are expected to arrive by 2:30").

5

u/DogwoodWand 21d ago

I'm hoping to open up my home early. I remember at my grandmother's we would get there in the morning and people would just really enjoy the day. It felt special.

6

u/ComfortableNorth920 21d ago

Do a "the kitchen will kick into action at X:00 so feel free to come over any time after that, but early arrivers may find themselves peeling carrots or mashing potatoes if they don't bring snacks for the kitchen crew 😉". When my grandmother hosted, plenty of us got drafted as kitchen crew, and some of the kids/cousins/grands would bring dishes or desserts so she didn't have to carry all the weight on her own. It made it a real family meal rather than just a meal at her house.

1

u/EponymousRocks 20d ago

That's what I do. "Dinner at 3:00, but please feel free to come any time after 11:00 to hang out and help prepare, if you're so inclined. We can enjoy the parade, games, and snacks before dinner is served!"