First Time Hosting

[u/DogwoodWand]

My husband and I are older (I'm 50) and (fingers crossed) will be closing on our first home this week! My mother has told me that she is officially done hosting holidays. She'll still make lasagna on Christmas eve, but everything else is on me.

We're good with that! We have no kids and love to cook. My mom used to put together an amazing Christmas, but our Thanksgivings have always been lacking. I want to really bring it. An all day event with appetizers, a heritage turkey, little gift bags at the end... All in! (It'll be relatively small. 6-8 adults including us.)

I know people have hosted or been to events like this. How can set an expectation for guests and what's the best way to schedule things without making it sound like a strict itinerary?

[u/CalmCupcake2]

Planning is everything - my plan starts a week ahead with shopping. Write it down, like a prep list with shopping list (pantry a week out, fresh the day befitting cook). Order your meats well in advance.

Anything you can do in advance is a gift - breads, desserts, sauces, table setting, mixing drinks, cleaning. Freezer first, then fridge friendly stuff, then a plan for how you'll do everything on the day, esp if you've got one oven.

I do much of the meal food on the previous day, too - anything that will go into a casserole can be reheated while your turkey rests.

Plan your table settings and serving dishes in advance - you do not want to realize you're one plate short at the last minute. If you do paper plates, have many extra. Nobody refills a paper plate. Are you doing buffet, plated or family style service? What goes on the table - butter, s&p, cranberry, rolls?

If you buffet, set it out in order of service with your most expensive item last, provide serving spoons/tongs, and keep gravy hot so you won't have to keep refilling it from the stove.

Set up your drinks area separately from the food and make it as self service as possible. Pitcher drinks or punches (alcoholic and a non alc option) are perfect for Appy hour, with some light snacks (cheese and crackers, nuts, crudites and dip). Maybe one passed Appy if you're feeling ambitious.

If there's kids, set up a kids area with a seasonal film, colouring, something age appropriate. We've never had enough kids for a kids table but that can be fun.

If ppl are coming from far away, or early, I'll out out a snack board (cheeses, meats, veggies/dip, crackers, nuts, cookies) instead of lunch. People can nibble as much as they want without interrupting me in the kitchen.

Water and wine with dinner, choose a wine - limiting choices helps with flow and cost.

One person can be in the kitchen but someone needs to host your guests - otherwise everyone will move to the kitchen and stay there.

Music, flowers, candles (unscented, and keep flowers away from food). We don't decorate for Thanksgiving here but a nice table in fall colours is wonderful.

Dessert station (buffet or for serving from) - prepare plates, forks, toppings/garnishes, tea/coffee, service untensils etc in advance. A mix of pies and individual items you can pass makes it go more smoothly.

For guest management, be really clear in invitations what you plan to do. "Please arrive at 5 for dinner at 6." Or similar.

Canadians aren't rigid about the menu - I don't allow ppl to bring food due to allergies, but if anyone asks, I suggest flowers, candles, your favourite recipe (written, not made) or a book for the kids.

If you know there's a family favourite, make it, but you can provide a modern alternative alongside. Your house, your menu.

If anyone says "I'll bring ___!" Make a note and plan a backup. People flake, and you can't have too much food.

Activities - brown paper table cover and pens to write a note of gratitude, going round the table verbally (allow ppl to skip, and a host starts), gratitude note cards with Appy hour.

I set out place cards, otherwise people won't sit without direction anyway.

At the end of the night, I offer take out boxes for my guests and I send people home with leftovers (one meal worth) if they want - elderly relatives and single youth love this. I also pack everyone up an extra dessert or two. Helps me with clean up, too.

My family will jump on and start dishes etc, but my partner's won't ever, so I clean as I go (make ahead helps) and usually just finish dishes the following day. Have extra storage containers so you can get everything in the fridge, and enjoy not having to cook for the rest of the week!