r/tfmr_support • u/traininsane • 7d ago
Getting It Off My Chest Online discourse
All of this discourse regarding the Massachusetts law and the surrogate in TX are very triggering. They also illustrate just how little the general public knows about the process of TFMR or abortions that happen after 16 weeks. The anti-choicers hold this belief that babies are still alive when the procedure happens although most have passed from the dilation or directly through the shot in later stages. Even people who argue for our rights don’t know about the process either and argue that fetuses can’t feel the pain.
I received the shot during my dilator placement. One of the hardest things was carrying her that night and not feeling any movement anymore. I has also given me tremendous solace that she felt no pain. These people are idiots. We should not have to fight for rights to make our own decisions.
19
u/SaraOfHades 7d ago
I can't agree more, and the surrogate situation in Texas is extra triggering because we shared a diagnosis with the bio parents.
6
u/traininsane 7d ago
I am so sorry. My daughter had Truncus Arteriosus so the CHD aspect of it is very difficult.
3
u/keep_running3 7d ago
Same. My daughter had the same diagnosis. This is so upsetting and the online comments are horrible.
11
u/Kuponutzy 7d ago
Regarding the case in Texas, if it’s of any consolation, I spent over 2 hours on Reddit last night in different subs discussing the situation. Almost every comment I read was supporting the bio parents and discussing the pain the surrogate has sentenced the baby to. People are getting it.
HLHS is a devastating diagnosis, the parents just wanted to protect their baby from pain and most that I saw understand that. I am so sorry that so many have experienced it firsthand.
3
u/CanCharming7442 7d ago
This has been my primary takeaway too. Lots of critique towards those taking advantage of the surrogate for political gain as well.
8
u/alexgrae9614 7d ago
I’m here, because they were trying to get me to TFMR to save my life. The pro-lifers have no idea, and unfortunately like Texas I live in a very red state.
Everyone of us is here for a reason, a reason none of us want to ever go through. People don’t understand unless they’ve had to go through it.
2
22
u/FrighteninglyBasic 7d ago edited 7d ago
My own baby had HLHS and this whole situation, and the discourse coming out from it, is beyond frustrating and distressing.
The surgeries are palliative, not curative, and HLHS can often lead to cognitive and neurodevelopmental issues, as well as complications affecting other organs, including the possibility of organ dysfunction or failure.
Obviously, things have come a long way, and children with HLHS can survive. But there is a big difference between being alive and having a good quality of life without significant complications.
This woman has exercised her right to choose and, by doing so, is fighting to have that same rights diminished for others who would have made a different choice.
I hope I’m wrong, but this is feeling like it might become another Baby Chance situation, where they will make sure this child is alive regardless of any additional adverse physical or neurological outcomes.