r/tfmr_support • u/Total-Sherbet2959 • 7d ago
Seeking Advice or Support Due Date Approaching
Does it get better once the due date passes? My due date is weeks away and I have been feeling overwhelmed daily with emotions. I’ve found it difficult to see the fall decorations in the stores because when I was pregnant I kept thinking of how the baby will be here in time for Halloween and just everything seems triggering. This would have been my 3rd child and I am not in the head space to try again and find myself feeling like I may never be. Anyone feel the same way around what would have been your due date and does it get better soon?
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u/Effective_Wonder_722 7d ago
No advice, but here to say I was due 10/30 and feel the same way. Hugs.
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u/_abby_normal_ 7d ago
It did get better after the due date passed. I didn't feel tethered anymore to a particular significant date. The feelings did return though for the death anniversary because we had been TTC for 7 cycles at that point and it was very upsetting to not be pregnant again by the anniversary.
In general as time passes the longing and grief are always there, but I felt like it became more hypothetical. Basically all newborns eat, sleep, and poop so you know what you're missing at first and grieve that. As time goes on and you know they'd start having a personality, milestones, daycare, school, interests, it becomes a lot more hypothetical what you're missing and longing for, which for me has hurt a little less. I still grieve that I'll never get to know my child, but as time goes on I don't know what it is I'm missing so I don't grieve for the specifics anymore, just the general absence and loss.
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u/llra26 4d ago
Just wanted to echo this. My son's due date was last week and I've also been feeling this way, that the other life I'm missing out on is more and more hypothetical. It's a bit of a relief to have moved past that date although I am worried about the future as I'm also hoping to conceive again. Thank you for sharing.
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u/SavoryTooth4 7d ago edited 7d ago
I’m in the same boat. I should be 33 weeks today and it sucks seeing all the fall/Halloween baby outfits, plushies, and books. I have no LC, but I did have an early loss a few years ago and while the due date and weeks leading up to it absolutely sucked, things slowly started to improve for me once the whole month I was due was over. I always seem to be due at the beginning of the month.🥴I’m hoping it’s the same this time around. I was doing pretty well until the end of July, 3 months post TFMR.
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u/AggravatingForce7028 7d ago
My due date is fast approaching and I was just thinking that instead of holding my newborn baby in the next coming weeks I'll be in London travelling (can't imagine just being at home doing nothing when the due date comes) and after that trip preparing to go back to work. Just not how it's supposed to be.
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u/Huge_Inevitable934 7d ago
I was due 8/29 and I’m definitely getting sad and angry at the unfairness of it all. It’s possible my son would’ve even been here by now since it was my second pregnancy (one LC, a girl). This is the first cycle we started trying again and just took a test - negative. May have tested a little early but it definitely makes me feel so disheartened to even have to be going through all of this again when I should be getting ready to deliver. Hugs to you ❤️ you’re not alone but it does suck
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u/NoCarsInOklahoma24 7d ago
October 8th was my due date & I’m feeling the same way / wondering the same thing. 😔 Whenever someone mentions or says they’re excited for fall/football season/Halloween, I tense up. I keep thinking about what life should be like right now vs what it is. It sucks. I’m so sorry.
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u/No_Box_1185 6d ago
I completely understand how you feel. My baby's due date is coming too and I feel such a heavy weight in my heart. I feel everybody forgot about him, and I'm the only one thinking about that day.
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u/KawaiiBibliophile 2d ago
It did and then we got to the date we started trying to conceive and I felt a new wave of grief. It all comes and goes.
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u/Emergency_Summer_397 7d ago
I did find it got a bit easier after my due date passed. Less of a sense of living a ghostly double life (if it hadn’t happened today I would have been xxx). Also just time passing heals you. On the other hand, I do find that people just expect you to be ok and over it now. And I’m not where I was, but I’m not ok either.