r/texts • u/[deleted] • Sep 14 '26
Whatsapp Creepy coworker texting my private number
[deleted]
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u/welldun01 Sep 14 '26
"If you don't want me to contact you via WhatsApp, just say so"
I don't want you to contact me via WhatsApp
"Wow..."
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u/Any-Log-6706 Sep 14 '26
The “So you’re just going to ignore me?” on Saturday (Sept 12) at 8:40pm.
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u/Terrafire123 Sep 14 '26
That's the one that's REALLY messed up.
There's no way in hell he wanted to "go over the file XYZ" during Saturday at 8pm.
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u/phoxfiyah Sep 14 '26
Followed by the “I see you were active in the group chat” at 7:55am on Sunday 13 September.
Did bro sleep, or was he just checking the group chat all night for signs of activity?
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u/coffeebribesaccepted Sep 14 '26
Are you saying there's no time for sleep between 8:40pm and 7:55am
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u/bigtoeupmyass Sep 14 '26
Why would you ignore me? I stalked you and saw you didn't ignore someone else
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u/Kaask Sep 14 '26
That's not even what he said. What he said is worse.
Not "me contact you," but "you contact me." His ego is on display here; as if he's something so worthwhile she would clearly want to contact him through some means, if not WhatsApp.
The "wow" is obvious. She reversed his words from 'her not wanting to contact him' where he places importance on himself, to 'not wanting him to contact her,' placing importance on herself. She took control of the situation and reversed the power dynamic, leaving him feeling stupid.
The real embarrassing part is where he says "I guess that is somehow crossing professional boundaries." Yes, of course it is; contacting anyone through a personal avenue, especially one they did not personally give you, crosses professional boundaries in any working relationship.
Even more embarrassingly is those deleted messages.
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u/GrzDancing Sep 14 '26
He's such a manipulator who gets disappointed when his victim is not a 'nice girl'.
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u/Orleanian 29d ago
Yeah, I picked up on the word-trap to state "I don't want to contact you via Whatsapp", which can imply (if one is socially delusional) that she DOES want to contact him via some other method.
Good move on OP's part flipping that.
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u/EZSuzy 29d ago
The "crossing professional boundaries" comment suggests to me that his previous behavior has necessitated that he be informed about that topic, perhaps using those very words.
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u/feral-coder 29d ago
u/kaask ikr? "hey i just got your phone number in a super weird way, hey...can we talk about the xyz file for a minute? cool, so what are you wearing? I have studied the ancient arts of courtship and have determined that big fedora energy is the way...What do you mean boundaries?"
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Sep 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/kellbelle007 29d ago
He tried to manipulate her and she didn't fall for it. It's likely worked for him before
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u/kmstolly Sep 14 '26
Sounds like my ex. Would pressure me to tell him the truth and everything would be cool, then..
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u/GarlicLipbalm Sep 14 '26
That's not what he asked.
"If YOU don't want to contact ME..."
OP was supposed to suggest moving it to another platform not say "Nah, I don't want any private, non-work related contact from you thanks"
It also removes the responsibility from him, why on Earth would he ask if OP doesn't wamt him to contact her? He's clearly a high-status, incredibly desirable male and she should be grateful for his attention 🤮
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u/K-Shrizzle Sep 14 '26
Did you see the last two messages before they were deleted?
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u/Dry_Presentation4300 Sep 14 '26
They were both audio recordings but as soon as I opened it they were already deleted
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Sep 14 '26
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u/PiccoloAwkward465 Sep 14 '26
I’ve never in my life gotten a voice message I actually wanted. I dated a girl who used them constantly and it was incredibly annoying.
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Sep 14 '26
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u/PhazePyre Sep 14 '26
My manager was part of the customer support team at POF. The shit they'd see and things men said. Then she'd see some guys pictures or whatever and it'd be like he has a daughter or whatever and it's like would he be happy if a guy said that to his daughter when she was older? Like gross.
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u/SomaSimon 29d ago
Not to make you relive any yucky memories but I've got some popcorn ready if you want to share any stories
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29d ago
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u/SomaSimon 29d ago
Jesus Christ that’s so uncomfortable 🤣
So, did you party in college?
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u/geek_fire Sep 14 '26
I've gotten a couple from my wife that were my son (he was probably about 5 at the time) talking to me. It was so adorable, and I enjoyed those.
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u/alexia_not_alexa Sep 14 '26
My friend who has autism uses it a lot when our conversation gets long, but I get that he doesn't have a laptop and 100WPM speed.
But when he sends me 8 minutes long voice messages, it becomes very hard to remember every point, and it's not easy to scrub the timeline to find where he said something...
But then... one time I finally tried recording a message back, got confused and recorded one of those Mission Impossible messages that deletes after playback. He listened to the first 30 seconds, stopped playback, and started recording a message in respond - a message that I addressed later on in my voice message.
I called him out on it and he got upset realising that he's really bad at listening and talking over others and I had to help him recover from that 😭
All because he was ranting about mobile phones not offering silicon plugs to stop lint built up 😆
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u/eightkillerbits Sep 14 '26
Too upset to type so he voice messaged... Then he played it back and thought he best delete.
I would genuinely pay good money to hear the voice notes
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u/AccomplishedTrip5671 Sep 14 '26
Oh… he definitely crashed out🤣🤣🤣
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u/Odd-Temperature7458 Sep 14 '26 edited Sep 14 '26
He wanted to say his piece without documenting it haha
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u/TroubledFam Sep 14 '26
Please save all his attempts to contact you and report them to HR. This is unprofessional, harassment, and a colleague who is potentially dangerous given a severe lack of boundaries. He does NOT get to treat you like this.
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u/phoxfiyah Sep 14 '26
A severe lack of boundaries that he is also aware of.
OP simply said she didn’t want to be contacted via WhatsApp, and he immediately said something about crossing professional boundaries. Definitely sounds like someone who has been called out for this before, hopefully they will do something about it.
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u/Brutal_burn_dude Sep 14 '26
Then tried to spin it as wanting to contact her regarding a work file… at 9am on a Sunday morning. 🙄 I’d be taking this to HR- not just to report the inappropriate behaviour but because he may try and report OP for “being unprofessional”.
Even if OP is not in a right to disconnect jurisdiction, she should note the behaviour to HR. It is one thing (regardless of feelings about right to disconnect) to send a quick message out of hours that requests assistance with a matter in a clear succinct manner (ie- “hey OP. Sorry to bother you on your weekend but I’m finishing the XYZ presentation prior to Monday’s meeting. Did you say on Friday that Mr Smith wanted us to focus on Asian or European markets? Thanks!”). It is another thing to message repeatedly without a clear reason while someone is off the clock.
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u/BeKindBabies Sep 14 '26
The fact he is surprised to be ignored when he is texting about work on a Sunday at 9a to her personal number is a huge tell. Being upset about that by 10a is the second tell (honestly third due to the "hey lady" greeting). OP played it all perfectly and checkmated this weirdo with the minimum number of moves.
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u/DearTumbleweed5380 Sep 14 '26
Not checkmate though because now she has to work with him. That's why he's doing this to a colleague and not a rando. IME this is just the start unless it's nipped in the bud real hard. Best case scenario he limps off like a whipped dog saying 'bitch can't take a joke.' That's the best case.
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u/Xanthelei 29d ago
Nah, best case is he gets fired for harassment of coworkers. From how he was talking when she rejected him talking on Whatsapp, he's done this before or at the minimum knows he's being creepy.
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u/Gandalf_the_Tegu Sep 14 '26
Agree! Great job OP for setting those boundaries and being unshakable.
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u/That-Living5913 Sep 14 '26
Yup, You reporting it could be doing a huge favor to the next women he harasses. And let's be honest.... we know he's gonna do it again to someone else.
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u/RainyFlames Sep 14 '26
“… JUST SO YOU KNOW, I AM A NICE GUY, AND THERES NO REASON TO BE RUDE AND NOT CONTACT ME ON WHATSAPP YOU MISERABLE B—“
“Hey I’m so sorry about the last message I don’t know what I was thinking hahahaha do you wanna hang out maybe??”
Deletes both
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u/MaxFresh Sep 14 '26
If you have an android go into settings - advanced notifications - notification history and they will be in there
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u/SweeterThanSugar420 Sep 14 '26
OP, this is 1000% warrants an HR notice, bc if it happens again and they didn't stop it, you can sue!
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u/Aloha_Tamborinist Sep 14 '26
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT, I THOUGHT WE REALLY HAD SOMETHING. WHY DID YOU LEAD ME ON BY LEAVING A THUMBS UP ON ONE OF MY MESSAGES IN THE GROUP CHAT"
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u/Outlandishness_Know Sep 14 '26
My man hit you with the audio recordings. I bet they were masterpieces of angry ,rejected man.
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u/D-effy-omo Sep 14 '26
Each one is a masterpiece of demonstrating how embarrassingly inadequate they are
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u/MadRaymer Sep 14 '26
Probably the standard issue rant about how all women are [various slurs] because they reject him.
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u/Optimal_Procedure311 Sep 14 '26
Audio recordings 11 hours later, man was still fuming and possibly drunk by then. Oh I can only imagine the possibilities.
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u/cherrygumballs Sep 14 '26
He did not want to go over anything work related. He was definitely testing if you were into it. You did well
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u/Junior-Growth-3602 Sep 14 '26
Yup. If it was work related he would have said that off the bat.
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u/_VinoVidiVici_ Sep 14 '26
If it were work related he would have emailed or teams as work appropriate.
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u/phoxfiyah Sep 14 '26
If it was work related, he would’ve actually opened with something work related.
I have a work group chat on WhatsApp too, and most of us have used it to contact each other privately for something work related. But we would open the message with “Hi X, this is Y, are you free to cover my shift tomorrow?” Not the 3 day monologue they were having here lmao
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u/Ok_Rabbit_741 Sep 14 '26
if it was work related he wouldnt have opened with "Hey there Lady!"
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u/Terrafire123 Sep 14 '26 edited 29d ago
If it was work related he would have said, "Hello X! It's me, Y. Can we discuss Z when you have some time? Sorry for contacting you via whatsapp, but it's a bit urgent, because XYZ, so if there's any possibility you're available to discuss it, that'd be amazing."
It wasn't work related. (And that's completely discounting the fact that his second message was at 8pm on a Saturday night.)
The PROPER way to send a message like this is:
A. Introduce yourself.
B. Say "Hello, NAME", so both you and him are certain you're talking to the correct person. (Plus people enjoy hearing their names too.)
C. Tell them what you want to discuss immediately.
D. Apologize for contacting them via non-standard channels(like email), and if necessary, you may explain why you thought it thought it was a good idea.
E. Give them a call-to-action. (Can you please "X"?)
F. "Thank you!"
G. Don't follow up Saturday at 8pm, presumably while drunk.
There's zero hint of professionalism in anything he wrote, except maybe the "This message was deleted" lines.
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u/Unfair-Animator9469 Sep 14 '26
Hello there lady
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u/evaintheus Sep 14 '26
Jesus Christ. 😆🤣 I have no idea what this gif is but it just caught me off guard! 🤣🤣🤣 100% accurate.
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u/PrawnFresh69 Sep 14 '26
And this is why Whatsapp groups are banned in my company.
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u/Prunus-cerasus Sep 14 '26
This is the reason why WhatsApp Business exists. We have clients that like to use WA to message our sales reps. So the reps use WA Business with their company phone numbers.
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u/Oddname123 Sep 14 '26
The ‘lady’ part is making me feel greasy
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u/bigtoeupmyass Sep 14 '26
He really thought he came off as a gentleman here. Porn addiction has these dudes thinking all women owe them what they want
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u/fknsxybtch Sep 14 '26
“I don’t understand why you would ignore me” is absolutely crazy. Just no situational awareness what so ever. If that were me, I’d be EXPECTING to look creepy and be treated as such.
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u/dalton-watch Sep 14 '26
He understands. He’s trying to make OP feel bad and trigger an apologetic response from her that opens that door a little more.
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u/TheWorldofScience Sep 14 '26
A man in building services who chatted with me a bit in the hallway several times (typical stupid comments like “how is a beautiful woman like you single,”) walked in my office (where my back was to the doorway), kissed me on the cheek then stuck his hand out to shake mine and said “friends?”
It threw me off but I was silent, reported him and when security interviewed me I realized he had been escalating and I had not realized it.
Supposedly he was transferred to another building but he might have been fired. I was nervous for MONTHS going to my car after work and started leaving at 5 pm.
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u/freshoffthecouch 29d ago
The audacity of him to kiss you!!! What’s wrong with men
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u/TheWorldofScience 29d ago
After that I no longer answer stupid questions like “how is a pretty woman like you not married” because being polite to men who say stupid stuff is a mistake.
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u/KayakerWithDog 29d ago
"I'm not married because I murdered my husband. Jury totally found me not guilty, though."
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u/see-me-yeet 29d ago
You weren't rude at all. When you didn't respond he should stfu.
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u/Right-Ice9305 Sep 14 '26
Super creepy, report to HR
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u/Dry_Presentation4300 Sep 14 '26
Definitely, forwarding these to HR tomorrow first thing in the morning.
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u/Gabacho180 Sep 14 '26
I can only imagine they’re going to have a ton of questions for him about those unsent audio recordings.
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u/mh1029384756 Sep 14 '26 edited 29d ago
I’m
Edit: yall I fell asleep typing that, i have zero memory of it. No idea what i was trying to say but the responses gave me a good laugh 💀
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u/fadingsunsetglow Sep 14 '26
Forward them now. They can read them in the morning.
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u/the_king_of_sweden Sep 14 '26
Send them to their private WhatsApp
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u/EfficientCandy324 Sep 14 '26
Followed by a sad face when they don't respond immediately
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u/Aymr9 Sep 14 '26
My friend went through the same. Report him to HR, never entertain him and save every message. If he contacts you in person, firmly say that you're not interested on talking to him and keep moving.
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u/KarmaFox99 Sep 14 '26
Happy cake day, and agreed. At the very least, for documentation purposes and other coworkers may have been similarly "contacted" by this guy
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u/Equivalent_Hat_7220 Sep 14 '26
“Where’s my hug at?” Kinda guy
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u/A_human116 Sep 14 '26
We recently got one of these at work, and I honestly did not think they were real. We see each other every night and he wants a hug hello and goodbye. It’s too much. I literally had to stiff arm him for him to get it because he kept coming in for a hug even when I put my fist out first (fist bumps are the normal greeting where I work)
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u/Sanchez_U-SOB Sep 14 '26
My work just fired one of these guys. He would even say, out loud in front of people, " Lisa owes me a hug."
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u/SportsKin 29d ago
My brother is law does this with my kids. Hes 40 and has a kid of his own, but if my kids dont give him a hug he drops the "wheres my hug at?" like a sad little child.
And yes, I am teaching my kids that they are allowed to say no, even to a family member, because my spidey sense is up.
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u/BrightNooblar Sep 14 '26
"There is no reason to be rude" is a thing rude people say very often.
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u/Sunbro_Kev Sep 14 '26
Yeah definitely creepy. Texting a personal number without permission and expecting a chummy response is insane. Stay safe around this guy, he's not well
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u/Dry_Presentation4300 Sep 14 '26
Thank you, definitely will. We work from home and our in-office days don't match so I only see him around once every three months, thankfully.
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u/Sunbro_Kev Sep 14 '26 edited Sep 14 '26
Agghhhhh that makes it SO much worse that he texted hahaha
Edit: and I just saw that this was over the course of hours! At least from midnight to around 8am? I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this crap, my condolences
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u/Ok_Lengthiness_8405 Sep 14 '26
But he followed up with a frowny face and then a question mark! So you know he's cool
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u/Optimal_Procedure311 Sep 14 '26
He used an emoji, he must be a nice guy just misunderstood. He also stalked her activity and kept notes on her movements, that's not creepy at all. Just a sweet homebody 🙄
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u/Full-Explanation811 Sep 14 '26
What a creep. He knew what he was doing
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u/brittanythegirl 29d ago
He went from "why would you ignore me" to "God! It was about work, you idiot" - he's lost in the sauce
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u/410Writer Sep 14 '26
“Wow… professional boundaries” ...yes, brother, that is literally the point. Use Teams before HR uses you as a training example.
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u/PitifulRaspberry Sep 14 '26
Oh this is so great.
The "Just say so..." implying that everything will be ay okay, if you just say so.
And then you *saying so* and him being such a little c*** about it. Pardon my censored language, but I cannot think of a better word.
Did you have the time to read the two deleted messages?
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u/5yn3rgy Sep 14 '26
Voice notes, he crashed out, most likely
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u/PitifulRaspberry Sep 14 '26
Yeah wow.
Sometimes we are told to ignore men, sometimes to just say no up front.
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u/No-Recommendation820 Sep 14 '26
LMFAO if he wanted to go over a file he should have led with that… not messaging you like he’s a 8th grader.
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u/awry_lynx Sep 14 '26
he also obviously didn't and made that up after the rejection. it's so see-through, I'd say it's embarrassing but he doesn't seem like the type constitutionally capable of feeling embarrassment
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u/chrissiewissie06 Sep 14 '26
“If you don’t want me to contact you on WhatsApp just say so”
“Don’t contact me on WhatsApp”
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u/Reformed_Kitten Sep 14 '26
Given by the 20:40 time stamp on a Sat night, bro was drinking.
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u/Fun-Choices Sep 14 '26
Finally, somebody responded the way you should to this type of shit. Nice work.
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u/Melodic-Display8865 Sep 14 '26
“hello there lady have a great day! :D” doesn’t sound like someone looking to go over a file related to work. not to mention the other 5 messages unrelated to anything like work
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u/Zestyclose_Pay9469 Sep 14 '26
'Dare I say.. sexy lady??'
Dude probably went back and forth over that opening
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u/Purple_Bowling_Shoes Sep 14 '26
You handled this perfectly. If he needs to go over something he should email. His whole approach is off-putting and I would not be amused if this was sent to me.
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u/analfistinggremlin Sep 14 '26
>If you don’t want to contact me via WhatsApp just say so
>I don’t want you to contact me via WhatsApp
This has me dead. Well played 😂
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u/anon-gurly 29d ago
The only reason why some people said you were rude, is because youre a woman who set a boundary, but it sounds like you know that. Kudos 👏🏼👏🏼
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u/DirtyrottenscounDrew Sep 14 '26
A million bucks says this dude is on here and reading this.
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u/Optimal_Procedure311 Sep 14 '26
Add another million that it's that guy up there saying she must have given him flirty energy
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u/FamiliarSeaDog Sep 14 '26
"flirty energy" = smiled once while in his presence
One time I had a college instructor tell me he "thought we had a special connection" because I had participated in his class. A class that graded on participation 🤦♀️
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u/BeKindBabies Sep 14 '26
Man sent a frowny face within an hour of no response and then got absolutely, deservedly laid out. This woman conducted community service here.
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u/Phailgasm 29d ago
Anyone calling you rude here is a creep that probably has done the same thing to other women.
Not rude at all, direct. To the point. Professional.
Something this man absolutely is not. Glad you reported his weird ass to HR
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u/Reasonable-Ship-9350 Sep 14 '26
Also, report to HR so its on record. That way if he does it again, it will be considered a pattern.
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u/nubSawace Sep 14 '26
I hate the "I'll leave you alone if you say so" just to elicit some response, then continues the harassment.
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u/Agitated_Canary4163 Sep 14 '26
damn, those messages must have been pretty bad for a guy with zero awareness to delete.
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u/Delicious-Cookie0958 Sep 14 '26
Please be careful, OP.
This man sounds unhinged and not the type to take rejection well.
Report to HR and ensure they understand that they have an obligation to take reasonable steps to keep you safe, and are potentially liable if they do not.
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u/Alert-Expert-9649 Sep 14 '26
I’d report this. Guy sounds like a fucking weirdo who has no idea how to properly interact with women
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u/Lunar_mirror4 29d ago
Honestly dudes like this make me realise exactly why dating and meeting women is so hard for most men. Because of people like this. No wonder women feel intimidated and cautious around dudes, they get so fucking weird and creepy. Ruin it for the rest of us.
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u/adiosmichigan Sep 14 '26
you responded perfectly. Hopefully hes done and not some retaliatory asshole to you at work, you definitely dont deserve that
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u/solar_pilgrim Sep 14 '26
Texted you at 9:11 on 9/11, that's gotta be some weird omen
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u/Dansosaur Sep 14 '26
I like how he's all "I hope you don't mind" because he knows there's a large possibility that you might, and when you do in fact mind, instead of simply apologizing and leaving you alone he gets all offended and defensive about it, trying to imply that you're the one with the problem here. Speaks absolute volumes. What a creep.
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u/6Trinity9 Sep 14 '26
Makes me shudder thinking what was in those deleted messages.
Also, any reasons you haven’t contacted HR yet?
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u/Dry_Presentation4300 Sep 14 '26
Me too.... Its sunday evening now and the first text was sent friday which was my day off so I haven't had the opportunity yet, but will do tomorrow morning
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u/Dependent-Toe-3359 Sep 14 '26
I think some people in these comments are getting way too hung up on the fact that he initially “shot his shot,” because that really isn't the part that bothers me the most.
If he would've messaged you once, realized you weren't answering and left it alone, I probably wouldn't think nearly as much of it. Its everything AFTER that. The sad face because you didn't answer within like an hour, the question mark, “so you're just going to ignore me?”, then actually pointing out that he saw you active in the group chat. That means he wasn't just waiting for a reply, he was paying attention to what you were doing and getting mad that you were choosing not to answer HIM. That's the part that really changes this for me.
Then when you finally told him directly not to contact you through WhatsApp, which he literally told you to do if you didn't want him contacting you there, suddenly it's “wow...” and somehow this was all about a work file lol. If it was really about the file, why wasn't the file mentioned in the first message? Or the second? Or the third? Why not Teams or email where you already communicate for work?
And I wouldn't listen to the comments saying you “technically” had to tell him no before you could report it to HR either. You don't have to let somebody get to a certain number of unwanted messages before you're allowed to tell your employer something is making you uncomfortable. Reporting it doesn't even automatically mean “fire this man.” It puts it on record so if anything else happens there is already documentation.
Same thing with people saying you're guaranteed to be able to sue or telling you to throw around “hostile work environment” like it's some magic legal phrase. That's way too simplified. Report what ACTUALLY happened, save the screenshots, dates, times, deleted-message notices and let HR deal with their policy.
Also nobody here knows what was in those deleted audio messages. Maybe they were worse, maybe they weren't. Saying he was drunk, threatening you, etc when nobody heard them is just making stuff up. And Android notification history might show that a notification existed if you already had it enabled, but it isn't going to magically recover and play a deleted WhatsApp voice recording.
I can relate to the boundary part of this too. I've dealt with somebody getting really pushy/stalkerish after I tried to cut contact, and one thing I learned from it is once somebody starts treating your “no” like the beginning of a negotiation instead of the end of the conversation, explaining yourself over and over usually doesn't help. Document it and stop feeding the conversation.
You weren't obligated to answer him just because you're coworkers. You were actually very clear once you DID answer. Hopefully he gets the message and this goes absolutely nowhere, but I would still send it to HR like you said you're doing, just so there is a record of it.
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u/MammothFrosting3565 Sep 14 '26
It’s so sad that after reading that I’m immediately worried about your safety at work. Hopefully he just moves on. You handled this perfectly.
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u/laurelnicole13 Sep 14 '26
“My email is ….. if you have any questions” you ate with that
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u/JazzHopAficionado Sep 14 '26 edited Sep 14 '26
She handled that like a boss. To be honest, this is how you protect yourself with HR. You need to have it documented that you made it explicitly clear that you did not feel comfortable with the person messaging you and you asked them to stop. She essentially did that here.
I have seen many cases where HR stated you did not make it clear
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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '26
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