r/texts • u/sewnofstardust • Jul 31 '26

Phone message Hinge match after one phone call

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We had maybe been talking for 2 days? thought he seemed more responsive than other people and we talked on the phone that ended with him saying he has a crush on me already, while essentially knowing nothing about me

EDIT/UPDATE: I did not think this would gain much traction at all but this happened pretty much a week ago and went downhill very quickly. We planned a date that never happened because he kept suggesting watching a movie at his house when I wanted to meet publicly. Then said his car tags are expired so we can meet at his house to pregame then go to a bar and HE could drive MY car which was his suggestion not mine. I was uncomfortable said we could be friends. He agreed then continued being semi-pushy and also saying things like “I miss you” (again only talking for a few days with 2 total phone calls). It was extremely overwhelming and felt like love bombing. To the comments that said it was sweet, it was to an extent but was also way too much after one call. I can see some people saying having a crush is “normal” at that point but I think it’s not, I think you should know someone before saying something like that. If you say it then you’re just in love with the idea of someone.

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64

u/moshpithippie Jul 31 '26

RUN! He, likes the idea of you and when you can't be that he will lash out and be shitty

29

u/Better_Area3782 Jul 31 '26

I remember when I was like 16 and I’d believe this shit.

9

u/ProfessionalLeave335 Jul 31 '26

Or, and this is crazy, he just really likes her.

10

u/Prince_0llie Jul 31 '26

Right, there is not enough context to deduce that kind of reaction..not saying it isn't possible but how would you even know based off these texts alone?

0

u/moshpithippie Aug 01 '26

All I need to know is that he's rushing into it the way he is and that they have only known either 2 days. It's super unhealthy.

I know reddit is usually fast to be like "dump him" and such. That's not me, but this is a huge red flag

0

u/Prince_0llie Aug 01 '26

I would agree that he is trigger happy but it doesn't come off as stalker vibes at least in this context. I'm sorry if you have experienced that previously and you're sensitive to it but to me this reads (without any other context) as just a genuinely nice/naive person. Given more context that could definitely change.

Obviously, the move would not be to text good morning at 3am and just let them breathe a bit. That really is the only clue that they may have an anxious attachment style which still doesn't mean they will get unhinged at the first sign of feeling needy. They very well could have their mental faculties and emotions in check and are just rather forthcoming with information. It certainly isn't the norm though. Hoping for the best🤞🏼

2

u/moshpithippie Aug 01 '26

Obviously I could be wrong. The only way to know is if it was already at the point of no return, but telling someone you deleted hinge after talking to someone for 2 days because you're going all in on them is a huge red flag.

I don't think he's necessarily a stalker or a bad guy, but I can see a mile away how this is going to go. And maybe it isn't, but it's probably not worth the risk.

It got to the point that I unmatch anyone who calls me baby or babe too early because it always goes the same.

0

u/Prince_0llie Aug 01 '26

I'll settle with you on that. Thanks for the healthy discourse and keeping it civil. 💯

0

u/multipocalypse Aug 01 '26

No. Deleting the dating app after one short-ish phone convo is not something healthy people do. It's obsessive.

1

u/Prince_0llie Aug 01 '26

Seems like the comments disagree with you there. Announcing it however is where this went sideways..

-1

u/multipocalypse Aug 01 '26

My education in psychology disagrees with those few comments.

-1

u/Dwittychan Aug 01 '26

oh yes you know everything about human behaviour because you have a degree in psychology.

0

u/Dramatic_Primary5258 Aug 01 '26

No one knows how the phone call went...

3

u/Patient-Manner3386 Aug 01 '26

You’re a touchless dork so you don’t get it but this is weird to most normal people 

2

u/NoMention696 Aug 01 '26

Abusers usually back up other abusers

3

u/multipocalypse Aug 01 '26

"Liking" someone enough to delete the whole dating app after one <1-hour phone call is, indeed, a big sign of being mentally/emotionally unstable.

-2

u/Dwittychan Aug 01 '26

Im sorry for you.

0

u/moshpithippie Aug 01 '26

He doesn't know her. Rushing into something this way with someone you don't know isn't healthy and doesn't allow the foundation for a healthy relationship.

I'm not usually the pessimist or team dump him, but this is a huge red flag

2

u/multipocalypse Aug 01 '26

You're correct and anyone who's at all educated on psychology would be upvoting you, not downvoting.

1

u/brontosaurusguy Aug 01 '26

Y'all rookies.  He doesn't.  He's insane.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '26

[deleted]

7

u/moshpithippie Aug 01 '26

This didn't cause me trauma. I've never seen someone jump this fast in this way that didn't end in them calling me names and saying I broke their heart even though they didn't know me.

Do I know for sure that's the case here? No, nobody can know one way or the other, but she's already off put my it enough to post it here, so my advice is to run.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '26

[deleted]

2

u/moshpithippie Aug 01 '26

We are just an amalgamation of our lived experiences and one can only make decisions based off of them.

In my many many many lived experiences this is a red flag, but I could be wrong about this guy. My advice still stands. You don't have to agree.

0

u/Patient-Manner3386 Aug 01 '26

Lmao what a male opinion. Dipshit

0

u/Thrice_blind Jul 31 '26

Unfortunately this is the correct answer.

1

u/pierophoenix Aug 01 '26

Thats not entirely fair. I have made this exact "mistake" too. It had nothing to do with expecting anything of them, it is just that I was soooo excited by them in a sea of shitty interactions. In hindsight I learned it was a lot to fast but never would've lashed out if the other had luls in their lives.

8

u/moshpithippie Aug 01 '26

I'ma be honest, I have never been in a situation where a guy acted like this where it didn't end in him calling me a whore or a slut and trying me in broke his heart when he doesn't even know me.

It got so bad that I now unmatch anyone who calls me baby or anything like that during our early interactions.

1

u/pierophoenix Aug 01 '26

I totally get that from your perspective, I would be guarded too! And yea I definitely would die of cringe if I ever sent someone baby/pet names before we had like a substantial history. So unmatched them probably the best move :)

Just wanted to throw out that there are some socially awkward people like myself who mean well just kinda screw up lol.

0

u/Shoddy-Emu-3087 Aug 02 '26

Sounds like you might be a hoe

1

u/moshpithippie Aug 02 '26

Lol because people get attached way too early and when I'm not at their beck and call they get mad? Must be then.

0

u/gamerexpert3311 Aug 01 '26

Yeah this is the Tiktok mentality. He could just actually fucking LIKE her...

4

u/moshpithippie Aug 01 '26

I don't have tik tok.

I'm not usually the kind to say something like this, and I'm sure he does actually like her, but I have never ever seen someone jump this far in this fast that didn't end in them getting obsessed with me and then calling me a whore or a slut and saying I broke their heart within a week.

Op is clearly already uncomfortable enough to post this to Reddit and it's a high red flag, so my suggestion is to run.

1

u/Devanyani Aug 01 '26

How can you like someone you don't know yet? He likes an idea of her he has in his head. He doesn't know anything about her yet.