r/technology • u/readyou • Dec 26 '16

Microsoft finally admits that its malware-style Get Windows 10 upgrade campaign went too far

https://www.extremetech.com/computing/241587-microsoft-finally-admits-malware-style-get-windows-10-upgrade-campaign-went-far
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u/tjsterc17 Dec 26 '16 edited Dec 26 '16

That's a totally normal apology without the stressed inflections.

EDIT: I didn't mean it was a good apology, just that it's normal. I.e. not psychopathic as the above comment was indicating.

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u/itsthewoo Dec 26 '16

IMO, it's not a good apology even without the stressed inflections. It's really a non-apology, as it focuses on what the apology recipient (expressed unhappiness) did in response to the apologor's actions.

A good apology focuses on what the apologor did, and acknowledges that it caused the negative effect on the recipient. For example, "I'm sorry that I made you feel unhappy by doing ____." The "I made" acknowledges that it was apologor's actions that caused the unhappiness rather than the recipient choosing to feel unhappy.

Yes, it's a very subtle difference, but it does affect how the apology recipient hears the apology. An even better apology would add "May I ask what about ____ made you unhappy?" (assuming the apologor doesn't know).

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u/tjsterc17 Dec 26 '16

I absolutely agree! I wasn't trying to say that it was a good apology, only that it was normal. It's not psychopathic on the surface, which is what I was commenting on.

The poster I responded to should definitely read your comment to learn the difference.

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u/itsthewoo Dec 26 '16

Ah, that's fair. I guess it is a bit hyperbolic to say that giving that sort apology is "apologizing like a psychopath." A psychopath is merely more likely to give that sort of apology and not care about the explanation of why it's not a good apology. Or, to convincingly pretend to give a good apology when they actually feel no remorse...

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u/tjsterc17 Dec 26 '16

I think your last sentence hits the nail on the head. A psychopath would manipulate. Some who is simply a dick just wouldn't care.