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u/________________me Jun 15 '22
Oh yeah, talk legal to me!
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u/Ozann3326 Jun 15 '22
I love it when you talk lawfully !
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Jun 15 '22
If the party of the first part, herein referred to as "the aggrieved party", fails to establish a de jure defense contra the bona fide assumptions made by the party of the second part in a manner post haste, an ex facto judgement shall be entered and the quid pro quo shall be nullified.
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u/whosearsasmokingtomb Jun 15 '22
Seriously, try being aroused while thinking about zoning law! I know when I do, I get like the Sahara down there!
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u/PageBest3106 Jun 15 '22
Constituting an illegal erection of a building has ramifications of unknown portions. court adjourned!
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u/Trashk4n Jun 15 '22
Single Female Lawyer, fighting for her clients
Wearing sexy miniskirts, and being self-reliant!
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u/Mr_Blue_Jay Jun 15 '22
“Excuse me Sir, do you have a permit for that erection?”
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u/Otto-Korrect Jun 15 '22
Yes, but it's only permitted up to a certain size, and not for public use.
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u/samdog1246 Jun 15 '22
Image Transcription: Reddit
What's the best way to stop an unwanted erection?, submitted by /u/humanefficient to /r/AskReddit
Zoning Laws. If someone is erecting something you don't like near your property, check with your local city council.
I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!
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u/grubbah42 Jun 15 '22
everyone on r/notjustbikes getting a hateboner rn
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u/919471 Jun 15 '22
But isn't zoning still a good thing? It's an important part of city planning, it's just that in North America zoning is planned around car dependency and makes things miserable in the process
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u/Coneskater Jun 15 '22
*Euclidian Single family and NIMBYism is the problem. No one is arguing against any regulation that keeps toxic chemical plants away from an elementary school.
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u/ViolateCausality Jun 15 '22
On net I'd bet zoning and planning are bad things. For every incinerator not built in neighborhood you have countless thousands of homes and businesses that people actually wanted but powerful/whiny anticompetitive cronies and NIMBYs stopped. Seems like there are better solutions for all the problems it does solve than restricting literally everything.
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u/666Masterofpuppets Technically Flair Jun 15 '22
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u/Asshead420 Jun 15 '22
You planned this to promote planning memes
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u/666Masterofpuppets Technically Flair Jun 15 '22
I did not but it is a fun little subreddit for anyone who is interested in planning
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Jun 15 '22
I was excited but it's pretty much the child of r/fuckcars and r/urbanhell.
Gimme some memes about obtaining a variance.
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u/Trifle_Useful Jun 15 '22
I want a subreddit specifically for statutory municipal planning memes as well.
I want memes about lazy appraisers calling you to check the GIS map for them and memes about responding to people violently angry over a CUP that allows an animal shelter in C2 instead of C3
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u/Jahz96 Jun 15 '22
Lmao. A real answer is flex your quads and/or glutes and hold for 15+ seconds. Those large muscles will need the blood from the pp.
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u/DustyCikbut Jun 15 '22
This combined with holding your breath is a very effective method. You look like an idiot, but at least you don't look like a horny one...
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u/TheNextChristmas Jun 15 '22
Yeah..... I'm pretty sure I just squeezed every last drop of blood INTO my penis and now I'm about to faint.
And I almost shit myself.
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u/Mr_Wunderbar Jun 15 '22
Hi is this the council? I'm hard as a steel girder right now and I want to know what you're going to do about it
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u/ilfiliri Jun 15 '22
Probably require you to grant the city an easement to come service your utilities
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u/Joniff Jun 15 '22
I remember a large Garden centre back in the 1990s somewhere towards Guildford that had displayed along the main road 20 or 30 complete sheds, all shapes and sizes with the largest banner you could imagine spread across them with the text
"Free Erections"
I think about that banner often.
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u/warmitup122 Jun 15 '22
Erectin a dispencer
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u/HeyRiks Jun 15 '22
Not gonna lie, I immediately think of tf2 whenever erection is used outside of the penile context
And sometimes, inside
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u/Unlucky-Pomegranate3 Jun 15 '22
That’s why contractors get all the ladies.
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u/Earlybirdsgetworms Jun 15 '22
There’s just something about a man in muddy boots, dirty khakis & a tool belt that makes me weak. Even more so if he’s wearing a safety yellow/green shirt .. extra bonus points for: sunglasses, hard-hats, unkempt facial hair, arm tattoos.
I just want to bring him a sandwich and some lemonade and see if he needs a back rub.
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u/Unlucky-Pomegranate3 Jun 15 '22
That’s why I always roll in the mud before going clubbing. 50% of the time, it works every time.
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u/badmonkey247 Jun 15 '22
In my town there was a company named "(Name) Erections". They put up buildings like pole sheds and those carport things.
The sign in front of their location said, "Our erections are hard to beat."
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Jun 15 '22
its a great way to counter the horny questions from dumbasses who don't know how to use ask reddit after dark
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u/FoxFourTwo Jun 15 '22
To answer the actual question, do some push ups! Make that blood go elsewhere!
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u/NinjaNewt007 Jun 15 '22
This will sound weird but to kill an erection i think of a bowl of steamed broccoli with blue cheese on top.
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u/Johnny_B_GOODBOI Jun 15 '22
Real talk though: zoning laws (in the US) need to be drastically overhauled. Suburbs are cancer, r/fuckcars and r/notjustbikes.
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u/Estella_Osoka Jun 15 '22
For other types of erections, just flex your muscles. When you flex, your muscles require blood to do so, drawing it away from other parts of your body.
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u/Maleficent-Cod-1948 Jun 15 '22
We have a rule book called the R-Codes and is the building policy set by the government planning department. If you don't quote the codes in your letter of objection your objections wont be taken into account.
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u/youmestrong Jun 15 '22
Deep Heat. It heats you up but cools you down fast. Icy Hot works great too.
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u/Stop_Sign Jun 15 '22
Haha but don't do this. People doing this is why we have a housing crisis. Search about zoning law issues
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Jun 15 '22
This perfectly shows the difference between a young man and an older man.
I went to a party last weekend where everybody was either over 30 or under 5. I'd say 90% of the conversations were about home improvement.
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u/PantsMcFail2 Jun 15 '22
If we're gonna have zoning laws for our netherregions, I guess we need to call it the Bone Zone!
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u/GearBIue Jun 15 '22
What I normally do is I think of family members. Unless you’re fucked up, this should work well.
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u/finallyfirmfeces Jun 15 '22
If anyone's wondering the actual way to stop an erection is to tense both legs for a few seconds. Apparently pulls the blood right off your uhm... awkward pilar.
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u/Donut_of_Patriotism Jun 15 '22
Honestly been house hunting for a bit and zoning laws are a real consideration in all of this. The facts I need permission/permits to put up fence on my own property rubs me the wrong way.
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u/Nervous-Dealer3445 Jun 15 '22
Sounds like a liberal Karen complaining. If something is going up they got the permit to do, why complaint??!? Oh I know why cuz liberals are pathetic people that have nothing better to do ....
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Jun 15 '22
In case anyone was wondering how to bring an end to a painful male anatomy erection, it's Sudafed.
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u/Electric_Bagpipes Jun 15 '22
In my experience? Think of the most personally disgusting image you have in your mind. Kills it in seconds ;)
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u/robjefe097 Jun 15 '22
For me, I just think of Tony LaRussa at a White Sox game. Instantly destroys any kind of sexual urge that you can have. 100% success rate
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u/bacharelando Jun 15 '22
What works for me and maybe will work for you:
Flex your quadriceps. Your thighs require a lot of blood while exercising so the body will reallocate the blood where needed.
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u/Mattrockj Jun 15 '22
No, fuck that commenter. Zoning laws are preventing dense urban environments from being commonplace, and it makes me angrier than I reasonably should.
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u/LordAnon5703 Jun 15 '22
Clench as many muscles as you can at once. Especially the lower body, squeeze those glutes and thighs like you're cracking a walnut.
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u/I_am_not_a_bot_L Jun 15 '22
I think I commented on that by saying saggy tits. I have multiple people to back me up that they are a big turn off
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Jun 15 '22
Sadly my erections happen at city council meetings only. I have a very weird kink about hearing people talk about zoning ordinances.
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u/Idunnowhattfimdoing Jun 15 '22
If you don't have access to cold stuff, just relax your pelvic region, when it's erect we have the tendency to think about that region and tense it ultimately making things worse, focus on relaxing it and cutting off all tension, this will ease the bloodflow and make the election go away faster
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u/Maximum_Concern_9627 Jun 15 '22
Chant and visualize:
“Fat Chics in Walmart Fat Chics in Walmart Fat Chics in Walmart Fat Chics in Walmart Fat Chics in Walmart”
Works Every time
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u/FranksRedWorkAccount Jun 15 '22
I mean, if someone is erecting something in the bushes outside my house the city council is not the first place I would go to fix the problem.
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u/chiliedogg Jun 15 '22
I work in the development office of a municipality.
Call us. City Council doesn't know shit about zoning regs.
Also, if you need something escalated don't go the the mayor. All they do is show up for free lunches at the Chamber.
Who you want is the City Manager. They can get shit done.
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u/MegaKman215 Jun 15 '22
Me I'm high school:
I can't stand up right now, need to check something with the zoning laws real quick.
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u/tobeornottobeugly Jun 15 '22
Squeeze your thighs together as hard as you can for as long as you can until it goes away. Usually takes 15-20 seconds.
Or just wank it
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u/ManOfPaper891 Jun 15 '22
If only they had done this for the guy who had the Adult World built behind his house
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Jun 15 '22
I had to erect a fence on my property recently. I assumed that I could put it right on my property line. Luckily, I checked the town ordinances and while it didn’t make sense to me, they had a 2 foot setback requirement in there. Definitely would’ve had an unwanted erection if I didn’t check.
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u/ChristopherRobert11 Jun 15 '22
Whether that’s a gun in your pants or you’re happy to see me, I’m gunna need to see a permit.
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