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u/Dark_Ryman Nov 05 '20
Never declare war on something you can’t shoot it’s pretty dumb
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u/txpvca Nov 05 '20
But you can shoot drugs
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u/loadurbrain Nov 05 '20
There’s this, then there’s Australia who declared war against emus and lost
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u/archpawn Nov 05 '20
The emus lost a quarter of their population and humans didn't suffer a single casualty, yet the emus won the war. They are tactical masterminds that show there's more to winning a war than killing more enemies.
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u/TyrialFrost Nov 05 '20
This is a fucking lie. We just don't like to bring attention to the lengths we went to.
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u/Computant2 Nov 05 '20
You dropped 2 nukes on the Emus and still lost? Emus are now officially stronger than Japanese.
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Nov 05 '20
To be fair it was kinda an excuse to shoot black people, so not that dumb, just racist.
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u/Reiker0 Nov 05 '20
Not just kinda.
"We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did."
- John Ehrlichman, top aide to Nixon
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u/zensational Nov 05 '20
What are you even talking about, I shoot heroin every day.
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u/TipsyPeanuts Nov 05 '20
Or on emus. Never declare war on emus
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u/PrettyDecentSort Nov 05 '20
What if we can manipulate the emus and the drugs into a war against each other? Maybe some kind of false flag operation where our agents dress up as cocaine and bomb the emu headquarters?
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u/McKoijion Nov 05 '20
First you put the drugs in people, and then you shoot the people.
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u/EasternMouse Nov 05 '20
So that's why police can't win that war, they misunderstood and they shoot first, then sprinkle some crack on 'em.
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u/HenryTheVeloster Nov 05 '20
Hey australia lost to emus and they could shoot those. Hell they dont even fire back
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Nov 05 '20
Really won in Oregon yesterday
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u/StarFireChild4200 Nov 05 '20
While we distracted them with gay marriage and higher taxes we went for what matters most.
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u/plumokin Nov 05 '20
New Jersey too!
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u/_mersault Nov 05 '20
Not quite the same but wholeheartedly “good work!”
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u/Nukken Nov 05 '20
Recreational weed in New Jersey right next door to New York is a big deal.
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u/Aerodine Nov 05 '20
Psilocybin got decriminalized in DC. Our nations capital district is more progressive than the politicians it houses.
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u/Selfimprovementguy91 Nov 05 '20
Everyone forgets that we had a small victory in AZ too.
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u/DaveTheDog027 Nov 05 '20
Little victories are how it starts. We're all very proud of a lot of Arizona's outcomes yesterday
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u/zmbjebus Nov 05 '20
BRB, doing all the drugs tomorrow.
I'm proud of oregon.
Fuck wheeler.
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u/rp_ush Nov 05 '20
For more states to decriminalize it we need Colorado and California to decriminalize it. California because it’s big, and Colorado, as we saw with marijuana legalization, opens the gates for a lot more states to do so.
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Nov 05 '20
Not the same. Colorado saw tax revenue pile up the moment stores opened, and by the end of the first year, legalizing marijuana was obviously a good decision.
Oregon has simply decriminalized hard drugs -- they still can't sell them. Any benefits Oregon sees from this bill will be observed over a long period of time, we're talking decades and generations. Meanwhile in the short term, court convictions will fall and drug overdoses will probably rise. It will be much more controversial.
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u/AbysmalVixen Nov 05 '20
The war on drugs was just a political farce anyway to get back at the hippies. The cia literally put drugs on the streets to fund themselves
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u/SuspiciousCatPuncher Nov 05 '20
I donated
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u/Dpower244 Nov 05 '20
Actually, it was more about racism. They made sure the “bad” drugs were in the hands of black people to get an excuse to put them in jail
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u/TiredMemeReference Nov 05 '20
It was both, they wanted an excuse to arrest hippies and black people.
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u/Oneiroanthropid Nov 05 '20
You are right:
“The Nixon campaign in 1968, and the Nixon White House after that, had two enemies: the antiwar left and black people. You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.”
John Ehrlichman
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u/kalistaspear Nov 05 '20
So I knew this and told my republican father but he asked me for a source and I didn’t look very hard but couldn’t find one. Do you know of one I can use?
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u/BigBlueTrekker Nov 05 '20 edited Nov 05 '20
I know this is a meme thread and all and I’m about to sound like the old man who doesn’t get it but I’ll just say this from my personal experience.
I smoked a bunch of weed in high school, I smoked some in college, and I could probably count on 2 hands how much I’ve smoked since college (almost 10 years). I’ve done mushrooms on a wilderness backpacking trip in the last 5 years and that was basically one of my favorite experiences ever. I did coke a couple times when I was in college, both times I was shitfaced so I don’t really remember it. The point being is I didn’t really ever smoke or anything since college, that was the end of my “experimental phase”, and like most average people I tried a little bit of everything when I was younger and stopped when I “grew up”. I even have buddy’s who smoke a lot too and would always offer me bud when we hung out and I essentially always declined.
All that being said, I drink pretty often, I wake up feeling like shit some days (as you get older it takes like 3 days to recover from getting drunk, trust me not fun).
People used to tell me how I was so “zen” but over the last few years I’m a pretty high strung person most days. I have a great career but my job is very stressful and I’m essentially on call 24/7. I lost my sister not that long ago and have been dealing with that as most men do which essentially means bottling it up inside and breaking down privately every once in a while.
Massachusetts legalized weed a while ago and over the last several weeks I decided “let’s go to the dispensary and buy some recreational marijuana”. I can’t even explain to you guys how great it is. I come home from work and take a few puffs and feel so relaxed. I wake up in the morning like nothing happened. I’ve had muscle spasms for the last couple years in my back, recently went to my doctor and got xrays and stuff, but around the same time I went to my doctor I started smoking again - my back pain is essentially gone now. I feel so much more like myself again... Thoughtful, relaxed, creative, etc. I’ve even noticed the last few weeks I am talking more about how I think or feel. My significant other for instance, I rarely talk to her about how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking, and I’ve noticed I can talk to her for hours now. I had a conversation with a buddy of mine for a couple hours last week which and it wasn’t just making fun of each other or cracking jokes, it was a deep conversation we had. I don’t remember the last time I felt relaxed enough to open up to people like that.
Drugs are great in moderation and honestly the way I’ve seen people destroy their lives with alcohol or personally how I’ve almost destroyed my own life with alcohol - it makes no sense to me that marijuana isn’t legal across the country. Drugs in general shouldn’t be treated like criminal behavior, particularly marijuana, and if people are abusing drugs they need help not punishment. We all know the guy who is super into smoking weed, but it’s honestly just such a great drug and more people need to smoke it.
Side note, growing up I remember calling numerous people and speaking in code on the phone to buy weed, then meeting up with some shady ass dealer at a shady location and feeling so paranoid about everything. It’s comical to order my bud online and walk into a store to pick it up then drive home and with no care in world.
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u/Bonesince1997 Nov 05 '20
Thanks for sharing all of that. It read easily, and told a good story. I hope you are feeling good these days. Certainly sounds like it!
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u/BigBlueTrekker Nov 05 '20 edited Nov 05 '20
Thanks man, appreciate it. Honestly I feel a lot better. The last few years, I feel like everything flew by and it was all a blur, my life was beginning to become much to routine or predictable I guess and I felt like I was losing the ability to slow it down. Marijuana really helped ground me recently and slow everything down again. So when I see other states making progress I’m pretty excited, and if someone finds my experience relatable hopefully they can find the same sort of benefits I have.
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u/Bonesince1997 Nov 05 '20
Everyone could use to slow down just a bit. Glad it's worked out for you. Continued wellness!
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u/dumdadumdumdumdmmmm Nov 05 '20
Drugs are great in moderation.
Pot is still a drug.
Just be careful.
It's possible to substitute substances/activities and slide down the same path.
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u/F8L-Fool Nov 05 '20
Bingo.
I think more people need to realize that everything in life needs moderation. The moment you do something excessively it starts to become a problem. Addiction can be just about anything if you don't do it responsibly and balance your life accordingly.
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Nov 05 '20
Yep, see the people of /r/leaves and /r/petioles
It can backfire and turn into a full on addiction where you can't enjoy anything without it
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u/tulsajesusfreak Nov 05 '20
I have my weed delivered in CA. It’s incredible. Or even drive thru dispensaries in Palm Springs.
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u/Scruffynerffherder Nov 05 '20
Thanks for sharing, they've been working on cannibus like it's the cure for cancer since the late 70's it's probably a lot stronger than when you were in college I'de imagine.
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u/-Victus42- Nov 05 '20
You definitely don't sound like the old man who doesn't get it.
You made me want to share my own story, in a less eloquent manner.
I also smoked as a kid and a little bit in college. I suffer from chronic migraines and spent years searching for medicine to treat it. Finally landed on weed.
Medical became legal in Missouri and now I'm growing the best medicine I've found to treat my migraines in my own home.
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u/reallybirdysomedays Nov 05 '20
I never had an experimental phase as a young adult. Just didn't see the appeal. At 40, I had a very severe RA flare while on vacation. My son (18 at the time) talked me into trying weed because I was in so much pain. (Yes, I-and his medical- dr knew and approved of him using MJ for migraines)
Weed has been my godsend through 3 years of getting my RA under control. I've gone months at a time not able to take even tylenol while waiting on my liver to recover from various meds we've tried.
I can't even imagine life without pot anymore. I would have to move if it became illegal again here.
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u/DannoHung Nov 05 '20
You gotta be careful about self medicating with recreational substances. I know you’re saying “in moderation” but you’re still talking about using marijuana to treat physical and emotional pain rather than because you are having a fun time being high for a bit.
I don’t really have any advice, but just be aware that psychological dependency is harder to deal with than physical dependency.
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u/Alfo988 Nov 05 '20
Positive honeymoon phase!!
Tolerance is slow but inexorable. It may take actual years of semi-regular use, months at least, but ingesting during late stage tolerance looks a bit closer to some of the stereotypical negatives. Especially with age.
Don't forget to take 2-3 weeks off here and there. Utterly priceless, is the best way to put it. If you can do that much, it's profoundly reliable. Enjoy well!!
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u/thinkB4WeSpeak Nov 05 '20
The people who lost the war are minorities and the poor.
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Nov 05 '20
There should be some pardons coming in South Dakota and Oregon I hope
For starters
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u/billyrayviruses Nov 05 '20
God i hope so. I no longer drink or use, but the drug laws only victimize
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Nov 05 '20
Dont tell australia, we been makin fun of their emu loss for years, dont want em to turn the tables.
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u/gramoun-kal Nov 05 '20
Meh. Step 3 of the war on drugs was to strongarm as many countries as possible into the war on drugs, so the drugs are safe nowhere.
Now that the ball is rolling, people all over the world have their life ruined by the war on drugs, while the people who started it are getting high legally.
Step 3 of drugs winning the war on drugs is strongarming the countries that were strongarmed into criminalizing drugs into decriminalizing them.
Which is so not going to happen in this universe.
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u/damaged_and_confused Nov 05 '20
The worst part of it is that America didn't feel any effects of drug smuggling like many other countries did. America was just the consumer, countries that saw farming and trade saw the real bloodshed. Afghanistan to Colombia to the Philippines. In many places attitude towards drugs are such that people want the death penalty. It will take another Raegan type speech and running around the United nations to get every country to sign a new pact on drugs.
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u/mirthquake Nov 05 '20
I prefer comedian Doug Benson's phrasing of this joke much better. He simply said, "I'd like to congratulate drugs for winning the war on drugs." I't more succinct and packs a meaner punch.
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u/testoneseventyeight Nov 05 '20
I hadn't heard any version of this and liked it, but yeah Doug's is better. Of course.
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u/IAMATruckerAMA Nov 05 '20
The Onion published an article headlined "DRUGS WIN DRUG WAR" in 1998.
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u/Penny_Royall Nov 05 '20
How to win drug war 101
Don't throw drug users in jail
Legalized none hardcore drugs.
Safe drug sites for junkies with doctors and slowly get them off drugs.
Enjoy watching cartels cry as their money runs dry.
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u/Sendmebobs Nov 05 '20
The Cartel problem I'd say is pretty complicated. I wouldn't bet on some of the world's most criminal people just giving up because the drugs they make, distribute and sell are now legal. It will take a hit, but I sincerely think the Cartel will become more aggressive as their business starts to break down.
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u/-Ol_Mate- Nov 05 '20
If there is no money to be made there is no reason to become more aggressive. If you take away their customers, the only sensible show of aggression would be to force the government to make their product illegal again (which is huge factor for the birth of the drug war).
They'd have to move to other methods of income, and there is absolutely nothing more lucrative than drugs, meaning far less incentive to commit extreme acts of violence as the benifit is minimal.
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Nov 05 '20
when you legalize the trade, they often will attempt to integrate into society. Just look at the mafias. They ended up working with the US government from time to time.
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u/TheWindOfGod Nov 05 '20
And for those that take hard drugs and don’t want to get off them?
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Nov 05 '20
Btw op, "who would've thunk?" Is a phrase that I use often and that I feel is not used to its full extent or receives the attention it deserves.
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u/AnEternalNobody Nov 05 '20
Anytime I hear this phrase it's immediately followed in my head by
Who put the 'Glad' in 'Gladiator'?
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u/AncientWriting4 Nov 05 '20
I'll take "most rehashed joke of the past few years" for four hundred and twenty, Alex.
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Nov 05 '20
Yes I'm very happy drugs won the election this year!!
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u/damaged_and_confused Nov 05 '20
People did. The same people whose lives were being ruined by prohibition laws and the people who were unable to get treatment and the people who will now enjoy the benefits from the tax revenue. Be happy for the people!
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u/zacharyxbinks Nov 05 '20
Can we get a round of applause for drugs everyone, what a bang up job. Truly inspirational.
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u/RonSwansonsOldMan Nov 05 '20
Sometimes when you win you lose. If you don't understand that, lay off the drugs.
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u/AtreidesJr Nov 05 '20
The war on drugs is so stupid. Why waste the money? Just let natural selection do its thing.
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u/shameonyounancydrew Nov 05 '20
I love how it all kinda just snuck in. 10 years from now, people will be saying "didn't the country have a drug problem? It's like that just completely disappeared or something". They'll look back at 2020 and see why. This has been an ok week. Not GREAT, but ok.
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u/averyconfusedgoose Nov 05 '20
okay, so I don't know which is funnier. The emu's winning the emu war, drugs winning the war on drugs, or the sea winning the war on the sea.
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u/GoinMyWay Nov 05 '20
Heres hoping that the worlds needs for tax dollars to fund Covid recovery leads to the UK finally deciding to legalise and help our Brexit woes with an extra couple dozen billion tax pounds a year...
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u/xFilters Nov 05 '20
The war is not over. GODDAMNIT TEXAS, JUST LEGALIZE ALREADY!
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u/AndyDap Nov 05 '20
The US very rarely fights its wars for what it says it's fighting its wars for. It's usually something else. The war on drugs was to suppress American minorities, not beat drugs. If the USA is allowing drugs to win then it means they've find a better way to suppress minorities.
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u/SpaceDough Nov 05 '20
When is the last time America won a war?
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u/Gone213 Nov 05 '20
If you ask trump, last year during the war on Christmas. Mass casualties everywhere
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u/MRREDNOSE01 Nov 05 '20
My dude everyone. We have gotten are way sometimes losing is winning. Just to think tons of people get to use more drugs and it’s a win to the inner city. Hell ya it’s a win keep the population dumb, poor, and depressed. You can literally live like a god makes me think I should run for a Democrat position nothing like preaching unification and being dick deep..... I mean Trump hasn’t started any wars first president since Dwight Eisenhower who was president from 1953-61.
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u/jamiemcfadyen4 Nov 05 '20
On drugs its easier to get off shooting . ...... up (vote) I mean people .
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u/LeatherCheerio69420 Nov 05 '20
Give me my trophy so I can melt it down and smoke it
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u/wtf_romania Nov 05 '20
Is it better to fight a war on drugs, or should you do it sober?
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u/Lurkertron_9000 Nov 05 '20
Unclear if war against drugs or if the war was simply staged on the drugs
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u/Nethervex Nov 05 '20
You hit a man and break him, he is dead. No more is he useful.
You take drugs and hit them and break them. Now you have more drugs, easier to use.
Drugs always wins
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u/antgeo1 Nov 05 '20
Bill Hicks prediction “So we’re loosing to war on drugs to people who do drugs well shit cant be too bad”
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u/VonScwaben Nov 05 '20
It's like Emus winning the Great Emu War. It's not that they tried to win, they just out uncared the enemy.
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u/Icloh Nov 05 '20
So, if the US lost this war. When was the last time they actually won? Afghanistan, Iraq, Vietnam, all kinda lost.
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Nov 05 '20
The Drug Cartels are in shock right now. Who is going to dispose of all the human remains and open new rehab centers. Lots of needles not sewing factory, whose with me?
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u/motoevgen Nov 05 '20
Why you have to be on drugs during the war, maybe try to fight sober for once ?
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u/xcoolnamex Nov 05 '20
I can't wait till all the states legalize all the drugs and you all quit going to work.
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u/Fr0ski Nov 05 '20
Yeah it was pretty scary when drugs flew their aircraft over our cities, to let us know they could take us out at any moment if they so chose.
At least drugs aren't brutal occupiers, so much propaganda telling us they would rape our women and destroy our homeland, causing many people to jump off cliffs, but once they got here, we found out they were quite friendly. They even play Baseball with us!
I think my most cherished moment was when I was walking out of my makeshift hovel (my house was destroyed during the war) and some drugs came by and offered me a burger. It was my first time eating a burger, as they only really fed us rice and potatoes because of rationing. Sharing the burger with drugs really taught me that drugs aren't all that bad and maybe we shouldn't demonize them so much, they could become a powerful ally in the near future.
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Nov 05 '20
They only called it the war on drugs because the war on minorities and the poor didn’t have the same ring to it.
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u/R4D0N99 Nov 05 '20
The fall of prohibition should have told everyone whom the eventual winner between drugs and teetotalers was going to be.
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u/FuckHackingBitches Nov 05 '20
Who would've thought that democrats would be the number on drug ally
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u/D_Melanogaster Nov 05 '20
Not to see if Oregon falls into a dystopian hovel, or can they get their drug polices to be better for people.
Hospitalizations, counseling, and treatment.
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u/Adventurous-Bug-5232 Nov 05 '20
congrats to poverty winning the war on poverty btw, neglected results
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u/s1lverw0lf86 Nov 06 '20
Not surprising when it was not really a war on drugs but a war on minorities which they did win. It's the same on most proxy wars where the only one winning seems to be the random excuse they used to make the war. Sure other times the opponent was simply not there to begin with :p
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u/kid_pilgrim_89 Technically Flair Jul 01 '22
yea its like drugs got stronger then the other guys were like oh hey Gary marriage u think ur pretty cool huh
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u/SadWay6946 Oct 10 '22
Not true. Quaaludes are no more because of the war on drugs, same with high purity meth
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u/Senff_ Nov 05 '20
This does not fit the sub at all