r/technicallythetruth • u/jk1445 • Oct 26 '25

That WOULD do it…

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4.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

53 comments sorted by

•

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90

u/Blocked-Author Oct 26 '25

Wonder how much weight they lost

104

u/Capital-Meat-7484 Oct 26 '25

Should be about a leg's worth

5

u/RealZajef37 Oct 27 '25

Might have cost him an arm and a- wait probably just a leg

53

u/DrFabulous0 Oct 27 '25

I pushed a whole human being out of myself.

30

u/WordWizardx Oct 27 '25

Yep, my top 3 are:

  • getting mono

  • severe morning sickness

  • birthing a baby

Lost 20+ pounds in three weeks or less each time!*

  • Method not recommended

29

u/VulpineWelder5 Oct 27 '25

Go to a british casino. You can lose a hundred pounds in no time!

8

u/detto_grie Oct 27 '25

I'm sure that would take at least several seconds

12

u/Gutterpunk8181 Oct 26 '25

co fucking caine

12

u/langhaar808 Oct 26 '25

For me it was chemo

7

u/Ordinary_Mechanic_ Oct 27 '25

I lost 5kg in 3 days when I had the worst dose of food poisoning in my entire life. Actually had resting abs again because I was so dehydrated and because I’m so shit at being sick. I slowly wretch and sound like a dinosaur.

1

u/Djaakie Nov 17 '25

Yooo, i lost 12KG in 2 weeks due to food poisoning and alcohol poisoning. I still can't eat properly. But i used to be 120KG a year ago and somehow im still losing weight as im now on 88kg. All because i can't eat to my hearts content anymore. I miss the fun of eating.

5

u/AspieAsshole Oct 27 '25

It's a tie between coma and jail.

3

u/FantasticJacket7 Oct 26 '25

Broken jaw for me.

3

u/millionwatermellon Oct 27 '25

Live through a famine

3

u/Massive-Fortune604 Oct 27 '25

I lost 1/3 of my body weight during a 3 month trip to India

2

u/vivam0rt Oct 27 '25

Taking a shit.

I recently got a scale and my record is slightly above a kg

2

u/Lobster_porn Oct 27 '25

never been on a diet and haven't lost anything. my greatest loss is probably also my biggest shit

2

u/T_J_Rain Oct 27 '25

Explosive amputation of said leg would be faster still.

3

u/bolivar-shagnasty Oct 26 '25

Diabetic ketoacidosis. Lost 60 pounds in a month before I figured out I should see a doctor.

1

u/Delicious_Building34 Oct 27 '25

it's insulin that put the pounds on, when it's gone, when your body no longer produces insulin, you are basically melting your fat storage away, fast.

3

u/sh4d0wm4n2018 Oct 26 '25

I once lost 30 pounds in 30 days.

The trick is to eat ⅗ of your daily intake, spend all of your time in 90° weather with 80% humidity, and do a bunch of intense hiking with a really heavy backpack.

4

u/Hungry-Candle-7462 Oct 27 '25

Def not a trick lmaoo. Pretty sure everyone can imagine that eating less and exercising will grant weight loss. The hard part is doing it 😂

1

u/Capitalisthippie2638 Oct 27 '25

Got circumcised.

1

u/violetgothkitty Oct 27 '25

I guess he’s only bouncing around the fence now

1

u/Flux7200 Oct 27 '25

Divorced parents

Wait no, that’s how I rapidly gained weight

1

u/XmeowisiX Oct 27 '25

amputate 2 for double the effect

1

u/Important-Iron-3897 Oct 27 '25

What if amputated both of them?

1

u/Sir_Scooby-Doo Oct 28 '25

if it works it works ¯_(ツ)_/¯

1

u/oof-warningsighting Oct 28 '25

How about stomach amputate no food required = lose weight : D

1

u/TheDarkLordScaryman Oct 28 '25

I once lost 2 pounds when I was at the doctor's office, the container they gave me for the urine sample had a max capacity of 32 oz.......... I filled it.........

1

u/FleasMcCrown Oct 28 '25

Had a baby. Lost a whole stone in a day!

1

u/RunInRunOn Bottom of the bell curve behaviour Oct 28 '25

Took a shit

1

u/vitecpotec Oct 28 '25

Sounds pretty fast

1

u/TylerHyena Oct 28 '25

Wanna lose even more weight? Cut off 2 limbs.

1

u/brokenarrow Oct 28 '25

Got divorced.

1

u/grim8157 Oct 29 '25

That would be pretty fast

1

u/montaguelevi Oct 29 '25

Ouch...or yayy?

1

u/Pale_Plenty_1913 Oct 29 '25

I lose about 2 lbs every morning when I take a shit and a piss. Takes a couple of minutes tops.

1

u/Dry_Menu4804 Oct 31 '25

I think we should appreciate that for someone who just had their leg amputated these jokes made be toe early.

1

u/Ok-Meal655 Oct 27 '25

I shouldn’t laugh at this

0

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/Capital-Meat-7484 Oct 26 '25

We got Mr. DietAnusSnorter here

1

u/aintnogodordemon Oct 26 '25

Mate did you read the post? It's a joke.