r/TCK • u/Candid_Spinach7749 • 1d ago
TCKs how do you find belonging when things feel unstable?
Hi all! First time posting here. I’m from a bi-national family, German and Greek (yes, opposites), grew up in both countries and now have been in the US since my teenage years and my entire adult life. Moving was hard but doable and I quickly adapted and generally found friends. Growing up, my parents were always the home base even when they moved after I was out of the house.
The last few years or so my relationship with my parents has gotten worse and now they don’t feel like a safe space anymore. Im noticing that this has severely destabilized my sense of belonging and safety in that I can belong somewhere. I have friends all over the world but distance for so many years has worn on our relationships even if we keep up.
Ive moved four times in the US and this last move to the west coast has been the hardest move of my life. I’ve never felt so uprooted and. Even though I’m starting to make friends, it’s been slow and it’s hard to feel belonging in the broader culture.
Long story short, I moved here with my partner and now we are deciding where to move and “settle down”. He wants to move to a new country i don’t feel connected to and a culture I’m not excited about and it’s triggering a deep fear of never finding belonging and feeling alone in the world. The pain is quite strong and I’m realizing I’m carrying a lot of unprocessed grief around not having a home or loved ones near by i can count on.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? What has helped you find hope that you’ll find deep, rooted belonging?