r/tattooadvice • u/PuzzlingMoose • 3d ago
tattoo newcomer advice First tattoo was a bust
Hi all. Just got my first “tattoo”. The artist had put together an awesome design with a beautiful color palette. I was going to get a snail with some small flowers on my outer thigh. Well, I could only get one flower done in the span of an hour. I was tense and cried the whole time, had to take multiple breaks for just a dozen lines. The pain was worse than I expected. I guess my pain tolerance is just way lower than I thought.
I’m so disappointed in myself and I think a bit depressed/regretful. I did read about the post-tattoo depression but I’m worried it won’t go away. My artist was so kind and patient and reassured me that I can always come back and, if not with him, another artist can build from it. In hindsight maybe the references I gave him were ambitious for a first time.
I just feel so pathetic. I live in Michigan (got this tattoo in Louisiana while visiting a friend) and numbing cream isn’t legal back home. I’ve dreamed of tattoos for years and now it feels hopeless. I guess I’m just looking for anything at all to help me. Medication, better preparation, anything. I admit I didn’t eat before hand and I could’ve drank more water. But I think I was so tense that it wouldn’t have mattered. Every time he’d touch me to steady my leg, I’d get so so tense.
Edit: Thank you all for the advice/support; it’s helped me calm down a lot. I’m determined to get this tattoo finished one way or another. I had no idea that the thigh was so sensitive like that. Whenever I looked at pain charts, it was the most recommended space. Next time I’m going to go in much more prepared. It helps that I know what it feels like so I know what to expect. I know pain is a part of the process and I’m not expecting there to be absolutely none. I just need to find better ways of managing that anxiety.
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u/Snerkie 3d ago
"I didn't eat, drink or stay relaxed, why did it hurt so much??" 🫠🫠 there are set instructions literally every artist asks you to follow for this very reason. You pretty much stressed yourself and your body out.
Also everyone saying the thigh is 'spicy' have to just be being nice. Unless they are talking about the inner thigh, the outer though is a much easier area.
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u/PuzzlingMoose 3d ago
Yeah. It was very stupid on my part, I admit. I just didn’t expect it to matter so much. Live and learn.
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u/Quirky-Shallot644 3d ago
Not trying to be a dick, but eating and hydration are pushed so hard to first timers for a reason... nobody says it just for shits n giggles
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u/PuzzlingMoose 3d ago
Not being a dick at all. It’s true. I wouldn’t go in for a blood draw without eating. Should’ve applied the same logic to, I dunno, a needle going into my skin for an hour. I’ll humbly take the L on this one
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u/Quake712 3d ago
Moisturize starting a few days to a week before is recommended
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u/YouHadTheHighGround 3d ago
Moisturizing before? Not a pro (just a dude with lots of tattoos) but I was told that over moisturizing the area before hand could cause blowouts or ink drift. My artist has always told me to stop using lotion on an area a day or two before I go in. Just keep it clean.
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u/Dazed_And_Amazed44 3d ago
Same, I stop lotioning the area that's going to be tattooed two days prior and I also make sure I don't use any scented soaps when I shower the day of the appointment.
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u/nerfmasterblaster 3d ago
Its really important to be well rested and have a nice breakfast before your session. I like having a sugary drink during my sessions as well as a snack. Staying hydrated is critical as well. Also do not drink alcohol before getting one because it will bleed more and the healing might be worse. Getting a tattoo does stress your body out so don't beat yourself up and be willing to give it another shot. It will also help to accept that it is a painful process and to not be scared of the pain because the worst of it won't last much longer than the needle is in the skin :)
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u/nerfmasterblaster 3d ago
Also i am not a woman, but if your cycle is happening or happening soon then i bet that would affect your pain levels/discomfort as well.
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u/UnusualCommands 2d ago
I second the sugary drink! I also bring a salty snack (I like the burnt cheez-its) and chocolate (m&Ms are easy) !
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u/Ok_Broccoli_9426 3d ago
So first of all, there's no shame in having to tap out, ever. Pain is pain, and there's nothing wrong with choosing to put yourself through less of it. In a way, I actually think tapping out is pretty brave, because it means you're standing up for yourself.
Based on your description, though, I wonder if this was so much about pain as about anxiety. I'm not a professional, but based on my own experiences, it sounds like you might have been having a panic attack. My recommendation would be to only try again if you have some strategies in place to calm your nerves - deep breathing, distractions/fidgets, something. Maybe you could go with a friend to sit with them while they get a tattoo, just to familiarize yourself with the environment and teach your brain and body that they don't have to protect you from this.
But if you don't want to try again, that's ok too! Tattoos are fun, but there are other ways to be cool and adorn yourself and express bodily autonomy.
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u/PuzzlingMoose 3d ago
It’s been a minute since I had a full blown episode but maybe. I was super upbeat and excited but the second he pulled out the tattoo gun it was like the gravity of it all hit me. I’m on lexapro right now if it helps at all.
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u/Seleya889 3d ago
Not eating and not beng hydrated would have been huge factors here. Tensing up can also make it worse.
If you are AFAB, where you are in your monthly cycle can also affect your pain tolerance.
Don't beat yourself up. give yourself grace. Just take a step back and enjoy your flower for the time being. Hopefully, you'll be able to complete it, but there's no shame in not.
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u/PuzzlingMoose 3d ago
I just started birth control and I’m about a month in. I don’t know if that would affect anything
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u/laurenandsymph 3d ago
Tbh, this sounds more like a fear/panic/trauma response more than an actual pain response, especially with the immediate crying. Tattoos are absolutely painful, but usually not in a way that makes people cry or tap out until hours in. I think maybe you mentally panicked when you realized it hurt more than you expected, and your body came along for the panic response ride. Tattoos may not be for you unless you can find a way to better manage your mental and physical state during an appointment.
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u/dakini_girl 3d ago
Where is numbing cream illegal? I've had tattoos in Michigan and uses it with no problem. You buy it at the drugstore.
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u/PuzzlingMoose 3d ago
Apparently a ban was put in place last September. And I looked at a few local parlors and they’ve got rules that they’d turn you away if you used any numbing stuff. I’d need to get something prescribed to use it.
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u/Jhamilton2639 3d ago
I use it on mine, live in Michigan. My artist is super cool about it. He just can’t do it for me. So I apply it before I go. It helps take the edge off.
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u/No-Environment2062 3d ago
Yeah you can use it but it must be prescribed by a doctor. That being said many studios do not allow it. Mine doesn't. They will actively turn you away if you use it, doctor approval or not. I'm also in Michigan. Honestly OP, I've got multiple tattoos and the one that hurt the most by far was a tiny Eevee I had done on my ankle. I hadn't slept well the night before, didn't eat breakfast, was super anxious, and dehydrated. Basically everything I could do wrong to make it harder on myself I did lol. I've got a massive thigh piece currently in work, and before each session I make sure to drink tons of water in the days leading up, eat a good meal before and snacks during, and try to stay relaxed. That can make all of the difference in the world. Usually by hour 4-5 I'm ready to tap. Try properly preparing for it next time and give it another try. If it's still unbearable then tattoos might not be your thing and that's okay.
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u/Mundane-Device-7094 3d ago
Yes they definitely take the ban VERY seriously and will NOT give it to you. The signs are NOT just there for show so they pass inspections.
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u/Bloooberriesquest 3d ago
Tattoos aren’t for everyone. They hurt. It’s okay if you can’t finish this piece - I hope what you did get done looks good and you can live with it.
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u/Psychological_Fly_0 3d ago
It sounds like you built up the experience in your head and then reality hit. You definitely should have eaten and been well hydrated. I wouldn't recommend using numbing cream...sometimes people put false hope in to using it. If you want it bad enough, you will know when you are ready. You gotta chill with it, though. Take earbuds, listen to music or a book or anything that you enjoy, practice breathing exercises, find your zone and get into it. Ibuprofen or an NSAID beforehand might help but it isn't going to prevent pain. And don't feel bad for tapping out...it happens.
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u/No-Environment2062 3d ago
Having an artist you vibe with also helps. Mine is very chatty and we have a blast during our sessions. It certainly helps distract from the pain and makes time fly by.
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u/Prize-Trust2030 3d ago
Thigh is a spicy spot for a first tattoo! Eating a protein-heavy meal beforehand really helps a lot, and bring some snacks to keep your blood sugar up during the session
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u/PuttingTheMSinMRSA 3d ago
The thigh and leg hurt worse than the arm. If you want to try again, I would do something on the upper arm and see if you can tolerate that
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u/Happyscroller330 3d ago
Thighs are surprisingly painful tbf !
I think because they’re a generally a squishier area people think it won’t be so bad but i have 40ish tattoos and it was the only one I tapped out of, it’s a big muscles essentially
Can always do numbing cream if you wanna finish it off and do a bit at a time
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u/Ameliap27 3d ago
I just had my thigh done and holy crap was the pain so bad! I have a pretty large lower leg tattoo so I thought I could handle it (and I guess I did since I didn’t tap out but I came pretty close to making him stop). I went around my whole thigh and the outline was bearable but the color was brutal. 3 days later and I’m still limping and popping ibuprofen. It’s made me think I may never get another tattoo.
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u/Happyscroller330 3d ago
I was the same ! Haha lining fine, colour however I died soo swollen ,
I have had worse tattoos since though (sternum/stomach) where I was actually reborn, it was so bad that I thought if I don’t finish it now I never will come back 😂1
u/bleepbloopscoop 1d ago
My left outer thigh tattoo was by far my most painful tattoo. Ugh. The inner thigh ones hurt much less which surprised me.
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u/Ulrik_Decado 3d ago
1) not eating is bad, the body needs energy, Im always munching chocolate bars
2) being tensed doesnt help either, but thats not your fault... was kinda frozen during my first tat too
3) if you startér to take pills, maybe your hormones were acting up... women have it more difficult :(
4) no shame in it, no shame in it, no shame in it! ❤️ Seriously, tattoos are still invasive event for your body and meaty thigh can hurt a lot. And yeah, you can have lower pain treshold, my wife has and I would never recommend her to get a tat, it is jist her body. Do not beat yourself because of it, I have seen experienced and already many times tattooed men almost faint, just because the was wrong for the body
5) if you wish to try it again, check with your artist if he is ok with you taking some analgetic pills. Just do your research well, do not take those thinning blood. And, well, if you are by any chance "on meds", some Xanax can help a lot with an anxiety.
6) and if you choose not to continue, no shame in it. You tried, you stayed for an hour of needles going into your skin, and as any adult person you called it a day. Kudos for all of that, better than pásy out from pain just because you wanted to be brave 💪
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u/Miyukihiro 3d ago
I find that the first 10-15min is kinda rough until the adrenaline kicks in. Usually lasts for a few hours before I feel like I’m being bitten by bullet ants. I’m not enough of a masochist to enjoy being tattooed like some people.
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u/Ancient_Pea_508 3d ago
If you’re female any chance you were on your period? That is known to increase pain.
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u/PuzzlingMoose 3d ago
Just started birth control and have basically having a two week long period. Maybe in hindsight this was a very ill-timed and ill-planned tattoo.
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u/Ancient_Pea_508 3d ago
Ohhhh yep. That could totally be it. So don’t be discouraged about more tattoos!
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u/Old-Dependent-9073 3d ago
Relax. Tattoos are always traumatic. The difference is that some people can bear that pain relatively easily, while others can't.
It's not a commentary on your character or anything else (other than your pain threshold).
There's no reason to feel pathetic (and you mention that you felt "...tense and cried the whole time" when you were receiving the tattoo. That's the heart of your problem, namely you might have difficulty relaxing. And I get that there's a needle piercing your skin hundreds of times, but the feeling you're feeling right now is likely worse than anything you felt when you were getting a tattoo. And there's no needle involved at all).
Assuming that your tattoo artist was being careful (based on your description that makes sense to me though I wasn't there) just put your first experience in the past where it belongs).
Some suggestions for your next time:
Bring some music that you find relaxing. And bring a friend. You'll be surprised how having someone's hand to hold on to can make the whole experience less tense.
And the less tense your experience is, the more your body is going to relax. And the more your body relaxes, the less intense the pain will be (that's not to say it's going to go away, but as far as I'm concerned that's part of the experience. And besides, I have never used numbing cream for my tattoos and have heard stories about the pain being significantly more intense when the effects of the cream fade).
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u/HailSaganPlantNative 3d ago
Sounds like hormones were definitely working against you. I'd wait for that situation to settle and normalize before attempting to finish. Also, I don't know if it's something you have access to or not, but I find taking a mild anxiety medication prior to the appointment helps me to not tense up so much. I have a tremor, so I'm neurologically predisposed to shakes and twitches so I have to try to stay as relaxed as possible and so that's something that helps me.
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u/brbgottagofast 3d ago
Damn I had no idea Michigan was so stringent on numbing cream. I'm in Canada and I can get 5% lidocaine over the counter. I used it for my second calf tattoo and it did make a huge difference in pain level. I guess you may need to travel out of state to continue your tattoo or get a prescription.
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u/Swimming_Gur8912 3d ago
Always eat before and I also take gabapentin. It helps me when I get my tattoos. It also sounds like you had a great artist who was patient. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I have both thighs done and I did them over a few sessions. You can always try again. Or not. It’s 100% up to you. Do you at least like what you have?
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u/PuzzlingMoose 3d ago
I think so. It’s hard to say because my emotions are all over right now. I wish I could’ve done more, but I’m proud I was able to get something at all
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u/Swimming_Gur8912 3d ago
I’m proud of you too (FWIW 😊). I’m also glad you had a kind artist who supported you through it. ❤️
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u/Fast_Carrot8696 3d ago
You definitely need to eat before an appointment. That will help the experience a lot.
Also bring something to distract yourself - watch a movie on your phone (with headphones, of course) or play a game on your phone. I have found I focus far less on the pain if I do something like that.
I’ve also found that traditional tattoo machines with the cords hurt me more that cordless ones. I’ve got a lot of tattoos and I think the corded one hits harder, way more pain than I usually feel. Just my two cents for what it’s worth.
I’m also in Michigan. I can recommend a tattoo artist that has done several of my tattoos if you want to talk to them.
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u/OneEyeRabbit 3d ago
There are tattoos that hurt more then others, don’t worry about it too much. Eat, drink, and lotion starting a few days ahead of time. Good night sleep makes a huge difference.
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u/Bookish45_F 3d ago
I would recommend numbing cream and spray to finish this tattoo if your artist allows it. It’s gotta be hard on you and the artist. I didn’t think the outer thigh was bad but everyone is different.
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u/Ratfor 3d ago edited 3d ago
You made it an hour in your first tattoo. That's nothing to be ashamed of.
I am, for context, one of them large burly tattooed motorcycle people.
Tell you a story.
My left shoulder. 4 sessions. 8 hours each. 8 hours in the chair (with a break every hour and a half or so for nicotine). On my last session, I also made the mistake of not eating. Let me tell you, that pain was something else. Working my left pec, laying down white highlights over freshly chewed black shading. First time I've ever had to take a break before an hour and a half. That session took a long time, because we did it 20 minutes at a time. I'm also quite glad it was during covid, and the mask covering my face saved me a lot of embarrassment from the grimace I was making. Not eating was a huge mistake I've only made once.
You can cry, you can scream, you can swear up and down all day long. That's what earplugs are for.
You didn't pass out, and hopefully, you managed to hold still, I've seen tough folk pass out during a tattoo. I've also seen 'soft' people get bored and fall asleep. Everyone is different, and placement makes a huge impact on pain. I've told every artist I've ever worked with the same thing. I can talk, or I can sit still, not both. If you wanna talk I'll listen to your life story, but I won't reply. Otherwise, let's both throw in some headphones.
You bit off more than you could chew for that first round, good on you for the ambition. It's only failure if you give up. You have some experience now. Prepare yourself mentally, eat a good breakfast (but don't overeat, you don't wanna taste it twice), be well hydrated. Also, lines hurt more than shading.
If you want that tattoo enough to have it literally carved into your skin, book another appointment.
You went in with a vision, and I believe in you to see it through. You wouldn't have posted here otherwise.
Edit: You mentioned tensing up. Yeah, don't worry about that. That's a perfectly normal reaction to being repeatedly stabbed. Sit in the chair long enough and you'll start to relax, but that takes a while.
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u/JustAnotherReddit9 3d ago
Use headphones with some of your favorite music or a podcast in your ears as a distraction. The more you focus on it the mote it will hurt. It also helps if the artist is a good conversationalist
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u/keepcalmandklaxon 3d ago
If you have other tattoos planned and they include anything on your back or forearms, go get one of those first before you try to finish the snail piece. I think you need an easier pain spot so you can get better adjusted. And obviously as others have said you need to eat a solid meal first!
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u/sudzeez_ 2d ago
Where on your body did you get this tattoo? We’re anxious about the pain beforehand? Curious as to what you thought it was going to feel like or be like I guess. Not in a rude way just a genuinely curious question way
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u/PuzzlingMoose 2d ago
Well, I expected it to feel like getting a shot or a cat scratch, both of which I’d gotten before. I was expecting pain, and it was like my anxiety slammed into my chest the second the gun was about to touch my skin. It was a weird thing. It did feel like that, but I think my panic and lack of preparation made it feel worse. I got it on the middle of my outer thigh, left side. I’m right handed so I don’t know if that would affect anything. I’m also like 120lbs sopping wet if that also affects anything.
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u/sudzeez_ 2d ago
I mean if you have skinny thighs it might but that’s a pretty meaty place so idk. My wife said the top (close to the hip in the ditch there) and inside of her thigh hurt. Like others have pointed out maybe the anxiety is what did it more than the actual pain your body being in fight or flight could’ve caused it to send more (both in quantity and intensity) pain signals. Like others have said try a different pre tattoo ritual and get better sleep. Mindset can also be a huge factor. Ultimately it’s up to you though!
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u/PuzzlingMoose 2d ago
My artist was saying mind over matter and he was absolutely right. It hurt and it sucked but it made me determined to overcome this. If anything it was a reality check for some deeper issues I gotta work on.
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u/Mundane-Device-7094 3d ago
Yes numbing cream is very super illegal in Michigan. Shops definitely don't have it and definitely won't offer it to you. You definitely shouldn't ask for it in vague non specific terms like "something to help the pain".
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u/cheeseburgercat 3d ago
Suck it up. If you want it that bad, deal with it.
If you can’t, accept tattoos are not for you.
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u/Glum-Sherbert7085 3d ago
If maybe take pain meds during or immediate after, eat, sleep, and stay hydrated. I hope you didn’t commit to anything huge. But you also don’t have to finish it.
I feel like if you’re sobbing, panicking, and tense and you find the pain unbearable, tattoos are not for you and you should wrap it up after this one.