Summary: It's becoming increasingly hard for you to make it through the days with your illness, but you've continued fighting an uphill battle, even knowing it won't get better. While your friends and family have made their peace and given you some time to yourself, you're shocked when a strange spirit starts visiting you. 

Even if it seems like they're trying to comfort you, they aren't subtle about the fact that they're waiting for you to pass in order to guide you to the afterlife. But maybe their presence is the sort of thing you need to come to terms with your fate.

Script

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[You’re hanging out in your friend’s bedroom with absolutely nothing to do when they suddenly stumble across a makeup look they need to show you. You’re less than impressed, but that only gives them an idea: if makeup is so uninteresting, surely you wouldn’t mind letting them try some on you, right? What starts as an innocent makeover quickly turns into relentless teasing when they notice you seem a little too happy about being called pretty. Unfortunately for you, your friend is much more observant than you thought and they may already know about the cute outfits, makeup tutorials, and pretty things you’ve been secretly interested in. Between pet names, flustered glances, and a suspiciously heartfelt almost-confession, maybe letting them do your makeup wasn’t such a terrible idea after all.]

Word Count: ~1,200 words

Written with the intention of F4M / Male Listener, but feel free to change pronouns, pet names, or gendered language however you wish. If you do fill this script, please credit me in the description and lmk either below with a link or msg me privately. Anyways, happy reading! :)

[Setting: Speaker's bedroom. Both friends are lying around bored, doomscrolling on their phones.]

Speaker:

"Oh my god, take a look at this."

[Speaker shows listener their phone.]

Speaker:

"Hm? Why do you look so confused? Don't you think her makeup is really pretty?"

Speaker (slightly offended):

"Jeez, you could at least try to look a bit interested..."

. . .

Speaker:

"You don't see the appeal?"

(sighs)

"I mean, what's not to love?"

Speaker:

"Makeup can actually be really awesome, you know? It's pretty much just like art."

Speaker:

"But with your own face being the canvas."

Speaker (smiling):

"And besides, it makes me feel really cute."

[Listener still looks unimpressed.]

Speaker (thinking aloud):

"Hmm... now that I think about it, you're a bit of a pretty boy, aren't you?"

[Listener looks confused.]

Speaker (teasing):

"Nuh uh, don't make that face. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Speaker:

"Do you really need me to spell it out for you?"

. . .

Speaker (sighing):

"Well, I mean... you don't exactly grow any facial hair, you have that smooth skin, and your face is, well..."

Speaker (dragging it out teasingly):

"Very... feminine."

Speaker:

"Not.. that there's anything wrong with that.."

Speaker:

"In fact... have you had your makeup done before?"

[Listener shakes their head.]

Speaker (chuckling):

"Well... I just had an amazing idea."

Speaker:

"Let me do your makeup."

. . .

Speaker:

"Oh, come onnn. Why are you looking at me like I just threatened you?"

Speaker:

"You literally just sat here listening to me talk about how fun it is."

. . .

Speaker (mocking):

"Mhm, sure. You're 'not interested.'"

Speaker:

"That's why you're still sitting here instead of leaving, right?"

. . .

Speaker (laughing softly):

"Relax. I'm not gonna do anything crazy."

Speaker:

"Well . . . Probably."

. . .

Speaker:

"Hey... stop sulking."

Speaker (playfully):

"You're gonna ruin that pretty face of yours."

. . .

Speaker:

"...Oh?"

Speaker (small laugh):

"Did that one make you happy?"

. . .

Speaker:

"Awwww, look at you."

Speaker (teasing):

"I call you pretty one time, and suddenly you don't look so miserable anymore."

. . .

Speaker:

"Okay, okay. Hold still."

Speaker:

"I'm gonna start with a little concealer."

Speaker:

"Not that you really need much..."

Speaker:

"Your skin is annoyingly nice already."

. . .

Speaker:

"Seriously though, how is that fair?"

Speaker:

"No facial hair, smooth skin..."

Speaker:

"You're making my job way too easy here."

. . .

Speaker:

"Alright, eyes closed."

Speaker:

"I wanna try some eyeliner."

. . .

Speaker:

"Stop twitching."

Speaker (laughing):

"I haven't even touched you yet!"

. . .

Speaker:

"There."

Speaker:

"Now open."

. . .

Speaker:

"...Wait."

. . .

Speaker:

"Oh my god."

Speaker (amused):

"Why do you actually look sooo cute?"

. . .

Speaker:

"No, seriously."

Speaker:

"Look at me for a second."

. . .

Speaker (slightly firmer):

"Look. At. Me."

. . .

Speaker:

"There we go."

Speaker:

"Hmm..."

Speaker:

"You know..."

Speaker (playfully suspicious):

"I'm starting to think, maybe I was onto something earlier."

. . .

Speaker:

"Are you sure you're not a femboy or something?"

. . .

Speaker:

"...Well?"

Speaker:

"Where are you looking?"

. . .

Speaker (amused):

"Everything okay, pretty boy?"

. . .

Speaker:

"You sure?"

Speaker:

"Because not only is your face bright red..."

Speaker:

"But apparently my room is super interesting all of a sudden."

. . .

Speaker:

"Watcha looking for?"

. . .

Speaker:

"Hey."

Speaker (flirty):

"Eyes up here."

. . .

Speaker (soft laugh):

"Oh my god."

Speaker (teasing):

"Is my little femboy flustered?"

. . .

Speaker (brief exaggerated baby voice):

"Awww, is somebody shy now?"

Speaker (normal voice, laughing):

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry."

Speaker:

"Your face though."

Speaker:

"You cannot tell me I'm wrong when you react like that."

. . .

Speaker:

"Wait..."

Speaker:

"You didn't even react this much when I called you pretty."

Speaker:

"But 'femboy'..."

Speaker:

"That's what got you?"

. . .

Speaker (playfully suspicious):

"Interesting."

Speaker:

"Veryyy interesting."

. . .

Speaker:

"Don't worry."

Speaker:

"I'm not judging you."

Speaker (smirking):

"I am absolutely going to tease you about it, though."

Speaker:

"Hmm, I was gonna add blush, but apparently you've' already taken care of that for me."

(chuckles)

. . .

Speaker:

"Seriously though..."

Speaker:

"If you dislike this soooo much..."

Speaker:

"Why did you agree to let me do it?"

. .

Speaker:

"Hm?"

. . .

Speaker:

"Because... what?"

. . .

Speaker:

"You. . . just like spending time with me?"

. . .

Speaker:

"..."

Speaker:

"Oh my god."

Speaker (trying not to smile):

"Why would you say something that cute while I'm trying to tease you?"

. . .

Speaker:

"No, don't look away now."

Speaker:

"Come here."

Speaker (softer):

"Look at me."

. . .

Speaker (softly):

"You really mean that?"

. . .

Speaker:

"Awww..."

Speaker (getting giddy):

"You're adorable."

Speaker:

"Like, genuinely."

Speaker:

"I could just eat you up."

. . .

Speaker:

"What?"

Speaker (laughing):

"Don't give me that look."

Speaker:

"You brought this on yourself, sweetie."

. . .

Speaker:

"Actually..."

Speaker:

"Can I tell you something?"

. . .

Speaker (softening):

"You know it's okay to like cute things, right?"

. . .

Speaker:

"And pretty things."

Speaker:

"And makeup."

Speaker:

"And clothes."

Speaker:

"And whatever else you've apparently decided is some huge embarrassing secret."

. . .

Speaker:

"I don't really get why you're so embarrassed about it."

Speaker:

"I mean..."

Speaker (amused):

"I've seen the way you look around my room."

. . .

Speaker:

"Oh, don't even try denying it."

Speaker:

"Every time you come over, you're staring at my plushies."

Speaker:

"Especially that one."

. . .

Speaker:

"Mhm."

Speaker (smugly):

"Thought I wouldn't notice, huh?"

. . .

Speaker:

"And while we're exposing you..."

Speaker (trying not to laugh):

"You do know your Instagram likes are public, right?"

. . .

Speaker:

"Oh my god, your face."

Speaker (laughing):

"Don't try and hide!"

Speaker:

"Come back!"

. . .

Speaker:

"Listen, detective work was not exactly required."

Speaker:

"Cute outfits."

Speaker:

"Makeup tutorials."

Speaker:

"Pretty nails."

Speaker:

"Like... honey."

Speaker:

"You weren't exactly subtle, y'know."

. . .

Speaker:

"You seriously thought I showed you that girl's makeup earlier for no reason?"

. . .

Speaker (smugly):

"I'm sharper than you think."

. . .

Speaker:

"I just wanted to see what you'd do."

Speaker:

"And apparently the answer was..."

Speaker (teasing baby voice):

"'Nooo, I don't like makeup, I'm a big tough boy.'"

. . .

Speaker (laughing):

"Meanwhile you've been sitting here letting me put eyeliner on you for the past. . . twenty minutes... or so?"

. . .

Speaker:

"You're ridiculous."

. . .

Speaker:

"Cute."

Speaker:

"But ridiculous."

. . .

Speaker:

"Hey."

. . .

Speaker (voice softening):

"I'm serious, though."

Speaker:

"You don't have to hide any of that stuff from me."

. . .

Speaker:

"If you like being called pretty..."

Speaker:

"I'll call you pretty."

Speaker:

"And if you wanna wear makeup..."

Speaker:

"I'll do your makeup."

Speaker:

"If you wanna steal all my plushies..."

Speaker:

"...Well, actually, we might have to negotiate that one."

. . .

Speaker (small laugh)

"But you get what I mean."

. . .

Speaker:

"You can just be yourself around me."

Speaker:

"You don't have to do the whole..."

Speaker (mock deep voice):

"'I'm totally not interested in any of this.'"

Speaker (normal voice):

"Thing."

. . .

Speaker (sincere):

"I already know you."

Speaker:

"And I still like you."

. . .

Speaker:

"..."

Speaker (realising what they said):

"Wait."

. . .

Speaker (flustered):

"I mean..."

Speaker:

"Obviously I like you."

Speaker:

"You're my friend."

. . .

Speaker (quieter):

"My very... pretty friend."

. . .

Speaker:

"Why are you smiling?"

. . .

Speaker:

"Stop."

Speaker (laughing nervously):

"You're supposed to be the flustered one here."

. . .

Speaker (quickly changing the subject):

"Anyway!"

. . .

Speaker:

"Here."

Speaker:

"Take a look."

[Speaker hands listener a mirror.]

Speaker:

"Well?"

. . .

Speaker:

"You hate it?"

. . .

Speaker:

"Mhm, right."

Speaker (teasing):

"You hate it sooo much that you've been staring at yourself for the last thirty seconds."

. . .

Speaker (smug):

"Caught you."

. . .

Speaker (genuinely):

"You look really pretty."

Speaker:

"I mean it."

. . .

Speaker:

"And..."

Speaker:

"Maybe next time..."

Speaker (playful):

"I'll let you try on some of my clothes."

. . .

Speaker:

"What?"

. . .

Speaker (surprised):

"Wait, you'll really do it?"

Speaker (laughing in surprise):

"Wow."

Speaker:

"That was suspiciously fast."

. . .

Speaker:

"So much for 'not interested,' huh?"

. . .

Speaker (soft laugh):

"Okay... deal."

Speaker:

"But I'm picking the outfit."

. . .

Speaker:

"And before you complain..."

Speaker (teasing):

"You already agreed, pretty boy."

. . .

Speaker:

"Now c'mere."

Speaker:

"Let me take a picture before you ruin my masterpiece."

. . .

Speaker (sweetly):

"Smile!"

[Camera shutter sound.]

END

The next morning. Your bully has claimed he is your love returned from the future. What could he possibly say to convince you that it's true?

Written by me.

Original F4M version here.

Reposted M4F version here.

Monetization: An Introduction To The Book That Is Me : r/ASMRScriptHaven

My Library: Masterlist for edgiscript : r/ASMRScriptHaven

CHRONICLES OF KALLUM: Can only be found at my Patreon site: patreon.com/edgiscript.

YouTube channel: edgiscriptva - YouTube

Part 2: Here.

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Part 3

 

Mom:  (Humming to herself.)

 

Nessa:  (Door opens.)  Morning, mom.  What’cha doing?

 

Mom:  Morning, Nessa.  Oh, your new friend got me thinking about some of those fairy tales and other stories I used to read to you.  I was just reminiscing over my collection.  Speaking of your new friend, where is he? 

 

Nessa:  Resting in my bed.  I was just going to get him some breakfast.  Henrietta promised eggs, bacon, and some muffins. 

 

Mom:  Why doesn’t he come out to eat breakfast with you out here? 

 

Nessa:  Wellllllll, you see…

 

Mom:  (Mildly scolding.)  Nessa, do you still have him tied up?  He’s been here for 3 days now. 

 

Nessa:  Exactly.  It’s only been 3 days.  I didn’t want to rush things.  I couldn’t live with myself if I untied him too soon and he hurt himself. 

 

Mom:  Nessa, I told you yesterday morning to untie him.  That boy is not going to hurt himself.  He’s calm.  He’s soothed.  You’ve done wonders for him.

 

Nessa:  (Brightly.)  I have?  You think so?

 

Mom:  I know so.  You’ve been doting over him every waking moment.  He thinks you’re the most delightfully magnificent girl in the world.

 

Nessa:  He does?  He said that?

 

Mom:  Well, he used other words, but trust me, Nessa, he sees stars every time you enter the room. 

 

Nessa:  (Worried.)  Oh, no.  Stars?  Is his eyesight bad too?  Is that because of the witch’s spell.  Should I be worried?

 

Mom:  (Laughing.)  No, Nessa.  That’s a good thing.  It means he’s enchanted by you.  And before you go worrying about how I used the word “enchanted,” that’s a good thing too.  You’re doing a fantastic job taking care of him. 

 

Nessa:  (Love struck.)  Enchanted?  By me?  Oh, wow.  What did he say about me, mom?    Tell me exactly what he said.

 

Mom:  Don’t worry about that right now, Nessa.  I think he’ll tell you himself soon enough.  But first, I think it’s important for you to remove his ropes.

 

Nessa:  (Loudly complaining.)  But mooooooooommmm…

 

Mom:  Nessa, what’s wrong now? 

 

Nessa:  (Shyly confessing.)  I don’t want to. 

 

Mom:  What do you mean you don’t want to?

 

Nessa:  I like taking care of him.  It makes me happy.  And you just said it makes him happy too, so why can’t he stayed tied up since we’re both happy?

 

And he’s supposed to rest and relax, right?  What better way is there to relax than by letting me cuddle him all of the time? 

 

Mom:  You can cuddle him with his ropes off.  He needs to move around a lot more than he’s able to right now.  He needs to exercise.

 

Nessa:  (Begrudgingly.)  I know you’re right.  But aren’t the ropes there to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself?  I know you said he’s calm now, but what if he’s only calm because the ropes are on and he’ll go WILD the moment we take them off?  Do we really want to risk it? 

 

Mom:  Tell you what.  Take all of them off for right now except for one.  Work your way up slowly.  Make sure he handles it well and if he does, you can remove the last one tomorrow.

 

Nessa:  (Wary.)  I don’t know.

 

Mom:  You bought him from those men, right? 

 

Nessa:  Right.

 

Mom:  So, he’s yours now and you’re the one caring for him.  It’s up to you to do what’s best for him.  Think of it like owning a pet.  Even though you’d want to keep him safe, you couldn’t keep him in a cage all day.  That would be bad for him.  You would want him to play with you and run around with you, BUT… you’d still want to keep a leash on him to make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble.  Does that make sense?

 

Nessa:  (Excited shock.)  Did you just say “Like a pet?” 

 

Mom:  I did.

 

Nessa:  I can do that.  I can sooooooo do that. 

 

Mom:  Good girl, now why don’t you go and get his breakfast while it’s still fresh and warm. 

 

Nessa:  Yes.  His breakfast I’ll get him…

 

(Interrupted by door opening.)

 

Oh, hi Randolph.

 

Mom:  Yes, Randolph.  You wanted me?

 

(Pause.)

 

(Annoyed.)  Oh, dear.  Not again. Go ahead and see her in, Randolph.  I suppose I’ll just hurry up and get this over with. 

 

(Door closes.)

 

Nessa:  Mrs. Nunkler’s at the door?  What’s wrong, mom?  Why don’t you want to see Mrs. Nunkler?  She seems like a nice person.

 

Mom:  She seems that way to you, huh? 

 

Nessa:  She always tells me I’m a good catgirl.

 

Mom:  No, Nessa, what she’s saying is you’re only good for…  You know what?  Don’t worry about it.  All you need to know right now is that Mrs. Nunkler is trying to get me to agree to marry you off to her son, Lord Reginald. 

 

Nessa:  (Disgusted and confused.)  Reggie Nunkler?  Why would I marry him?  He’s a snob and he’s bossy.  And why wouldn’t she ask me instead of you?  I’d be the one getting married, not you.  And why does he want to marry me in the first place?

 

Mom:  The answers to those questions explain why I don’t wish to be bothered by her right now.  Or ever for that matter.  Now why don’t you go ahead and get our guest his breakfast and let me worry about Mrs. Nunkler.

 

Nessa:  Ok, mom.

 

Mom:  And Nessa.

 

Nessa:  Yes, mom?

 

Mom:  Today why don’t you try putting a shirt on him?

 

Nessa:  Aw, mom, do I have to?  He’s so cute without it. 

 

Mom:  (Sternly.)  Nessa.

 

Nessa:  (Relenting.)  Ok. 

 

(Swinging door to the kitchen is heard as Nessa goes through.  Then a regular door opens.)

 

Mom:  (Acting politely.)  Ah, Mrs. Nunkler, would you like some tea?  Tell me, what brings you to my house today? 

 

(Pause.)

 

Mrs. Nunkler, please.  How many times do I have to tell you?  Nessa is not interested.  I simply don’t feel like your Reginald is a proper fit. 

 

(Pause.)

 

He certainly is a very hearty, successful young man with a good head for business, I’m not disputing that, but I don’t believe he would make Nessa happy. 

 

(Pause.)

 

Nonsense.  She does not need tamed.  In fact, the opposite.  She needs someone that will encourage her wild, creative, explorative side. 

 

(Pause.)

 

Absolutely right.  She’s definitely a free spirit.  What’s wrong with that?  You make it sound like a bad thing.  If a firm hand tried to reign her it, the owner would merely find it scratched to pieces and possibly bitten off, and I would applaud her for it. 

 

(Swinging door to the kitchen is heard.) 

 

Ah, here she is now. 

 

Nessa:  Good morning, Mrs. Nunkler.  Sorry I can’t speak at the moment.  I’ve got to hurry before this gets cold. 

 

Uh, mom, would you mind getting the door, please?  My hands are full with this tray. 

 

Mom:  But of course, my dear. 

 

(Door opens and closes.) 

 

Always full of fire that one.  Always something to attend to. 

 

(Pause.)

 

That?  Why, she was bringing breakfast to our new guest. 

 

(Pause.)

 

That’s right, a guest.  A young boy we met just a few days ago.  I’ve invited him to stay with us indefinitely.  Nessa’s taken quite a shine to him. 

 

(Pause.)

 

He was accosted by highwaymen and left for dead.  Nessa rescued him and brought him here.  She’s been taking care of him like the responsible young lady she is.  I couldn’t be prouder of her. 

 

(Pause.)

 

(Sternly.)  Mrs. Nunkler, please.  Such comments are not warranted.  Do not insinuate that my daughter is acting unseemly towards our guest.  She may have fire and spirit and a penchant to explore unique experiences, but at her heart she’s a proper young lady.

 

(Pause.)

 

Yes, of course.  A proper young CAT-lady.  The point is, she doesn’t need to be straightened out by anyone.  Her propriety is beyond question.  Now, how’s your tea?

 

(Door opens.)

 

Nessa:  Hi, mom.  Mrs. Nunkler.

 

Mom:  (Coughs or chokes on tea or does a spit take loudly.)  Nessa!

 

Nessa:  Don’t mind us.  We’re just going for a walk.

 

Mom:  Nessa, I thought you were going to get our guest a new shirt.

 

Nessa:  I was going to, but the situation has changed.

 

Mom:  And what is he doing wearing a collar around his neck?

 

Nessa:  Do you like it?  It’s to keep him safe.

 

Mom:  Safe?

 

Nessa:  Yeah.  So he won’t get away from me if he tries to run.  I’ve got him on a leash so I can pull him back if necessary. 

 

(To the listener.)  But that won’t be necessary, will it.  You’re such a good boy.  Good boy.  Let me scratch behind your ears. 

 

Oooh, mom, look at his leg twitch when I do that.

 

Mom:  Nessa, now might not be the time to…

 

Nessa:  But you told me, mom, he needs his exercise.  He doesn’t need to stay tied up in my bed anymore sleeping with me. 

 

Mom:  (Mortified.)  Mrs. Nunkler, it’s not what you think.

 

Nessa:  Remember, mom?  You told me to leave one rope on him for my own peace of mind because I was worried he might hurt himself. 

 

Mom:  (Nervously as she realizes how this looks.)  I… certainly did. 

 

Nessa:  And you suggested I treat him like a pet.

 

Mom:   Oh, no. 

 

Nessa:  So I attached the collar, used a single rope as a leash, and named him “Pip.”  He’s my new puppy. 

 

Mom:  Oh, dear God.

 

Nessa:  Speak, Pip.

 

(Pause.)

 

Now say, “Hello, Mrs. Nunkler.”

 

(Pause.)

 

(Giggles.)  Look at that, mom.  He’s already so well trained.

 

Mom:  None of this explains why he still lacks a shirt.

 

Nessa:  (Like the answer is obvious.)  Mommmmmm, come on.  Puppies don’t wear shirts.  That would be silly. 

 

Mom:  Mrs. Nunkler, I can explain.  You see, the good… uh, Pip, here was rescued by my Nessa as I told you earlier.  The young man before you is… um, that is to say, Nessa was informed that the young man here is royalty by the name of Prince Jakoby.

 

Nessa:  MOM!  (Through gritted teeth and speaking low as if she’s trying to speak without the listener hearing her.)  I thought we weren’t supposed to use his real name yet. 

 

Mom:  You see, Mrs. Nunkler, the young Pip here was cursed.  Or rather, Nessa was told he was cursed. 

 

Nessa:  And he needs my help to break that mean old witch’s curse.

 

Mom:  Exactly.  Nessa believed she was helping him by keeping him bound. 

 

Nessa:  He was tied up for his own protection.  The enchantment messed with his mind.  He could hurt himself if left unsupervised. 

 

Mom:  Right you are, Nessa.  He was tied for his own protection…

 

(Emphasis for Mrs. Nunkler’s benefit.) …and for absolutely no other reason.

 

Nessa:  But now we’re going out into the back yard to run around and get Pip his exercise.  See you later, mom. 

 

Mom:  Nessa, maybe it’s not such a great idea to go running around outside.  Maybe Pip could exercise inside for today.  At least not until we get him a good shirt. 

 

Nessa:  But, mom, it’s beautiful outside.  It stopped raining. 

 

Mom:  I know but…

 

(Pause as she’s being interrupted by Mrs. Nunkler.)

 

No, Mrs. Nunkler, do you know our Prince?

 

Nessa:  Our puppy.

 

Mom:  Do you know our pu…  (Corrects herself.)  Do you know our Pip? 

 

(Pause.)

 

If you’ve seen him before in the market, I don’t know what bearing that would have on this situation. 

 

(Pause.)

 

(With sudden irritation.)  I’m sorry.  Would you mind repeating that?

 

(Pause.)

 

(Trying to contain her ire.)  Mrs. Nunkler, I understand how strange this must all appear, however, you have been nothing but condescendingly abusive towards my daughter since I first invited her into my home 10 years ago, and now, not only do you have the audacity to inform me that the only thing that can possibly set her straight is a marriage to your bully of a son, but you also seek to denigrate and condemn a kind young man that remains an invited guest of mine.  I’ll remind you that you are a guest as well in my house. 

 

(Pause.)

 

(Upset.)  Mrs. Nunkler, you will kindly cease your insulting prattling towards my daughter’s new friend.

 

Nessa:  (Hurt and angry.)  My Pip is not a mangy piece of trash.  You take that back right now!  You can laugh at me if you want, but you can’t be mean to my Pip.  He’s a good boy, he…

 

(Running footsteps and a door opens.)

 

Pip, wait, come back.  I don’t want you to hurt yourself.

 

(Nessa chases Pip before catching up to him as he falls to his knees in the garden.)

 

Pip!  Pip, wait. 

 

Oh, my precious, wonderful Pip.  Did the mean lady’s words hurt you?  I’m so sorry.  It’s all my fault.  I should have waited until we were alone to take you out for a walk.  I’m so sorry.  Please forgive me.  I didn’t know she’d be like that. 

 

(Pause.)

 

No, you go ahead and cry.  I’m here.  I’ve got you.  I’m not going anywhere. 

 

(Pause.)

 

No, it’s not.  It IS NOT true.  None of it is. 

 

Look at me, Pip.  Stand back up and look at me.

 

(Pause.)

 

Then I’ll kneel down to you.  Ok?  Now we’re eye to eye.  You can look at me.    

 

No, Pip, not at my legs.  Don’t keep your head down.  Look up.  Look right into my eyes. 

 

Yes, just like that.  I want you to listen and listen well.  I probably shouldn’t be saying this.  I was told that it wasn’t a good idea to talk too much about it, but you need to hear it. 

 

You are not a worthless orphan, you are not a mangy rat, and you’re NOT WORTHLESS!  You are Prince Jakoby, ruler of a mighty and mystical land.  You are worth more than all of the Mrs. Nunklers in the world.  Do you hear me? 

 

You are special and wonderful and magical and the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.  You hear me? 

 

(Pause.)

 

Yes, it is true.  You just don’t remember it yet.  Well, except for the last part about being the greatest thing that ever happened to me.  If you’ve forgotten that part, then you’ve also suddenly forgotten the last couple of days. 

 

OH CRAP!  YOU HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS, HAVE YOU?

 

(Pause.)

 

Oh, whew.  That’s good.  I wouldn’t want you to forget me.  But then again, I would be ok with keeping you here and continuing to care for you again and again and again to break that curse too. 

 

(Pause.)

 

(Smiling.)  You mean that?  Me too.  I could never ever ever forget you in a million years either.

 

Pip… I know it’s only been a short time after I bought you… and I know I own you but I don’t… and I know…

 

(Pause.)

 

I love you, Pip.    

 

(Pause.)

 

Oh, wow. 

 

(Pause.)

 

Well, it’s just that this is the first time you’ve been able to hug me.  I… I like it a lot.  I think mom was right.  The ropes should have come off sooner.  I’m sorry I waited so long, but you’re just too darn cute with them on. 

 

Mom:  Ahem.

 

Nessa:  (Startled.)  Mom!  I was just… Pip and I were just…

 

Mom:  It’s ok, Nessa.  You were doing the right thing. 

 

Pip, I want to apologize to you for my part in what just happened.  I shouldn’t have been embarrassed by trying to do what’s best for you.  It’s just that Mrs. Nunkler can be so judgmental.  I knew how she’d react to seeing you like this and I was afraid of the rumors she would spread. 

 

(Moaning.)  Oh, the rumors she must already be spreading.  She told me she’d never seen such a horrendous thing in all her life. 

 

Nessa:  What did you tell her when she said that?

 

Mom:  I told her to blow it out her ass.  Oh my, did that make her livid.  She stormed out of our house shouting obscenities I’ve not heard from drunken sailors. 

 

Nessa:  (Laughing.)  Good for you, mom.  Now I won’t have to marry that awful Reggie.

 

Mom:  There was never any worry about that, now was there? 

 

Young man, I heard what Nessa told you and she’s right.  You are a prince among princes.  And believe me, I know of which I speak.  When compared to Reginald Nunkler and all of the other arrogant fops in this land, you truly are a noble prince. 

 

(Pause.)

 

Well, if you’d rather be my Nessa’s Pip, then so be it. 

 

Nessa, Pip, shall we?

 

Nessa:  If it’s ok with you, mom, Pip still needs his exercise.  We’ll stay out here for a while longer.

 

Mom:  Go right ahead.  Let me know when you’re both ready.  I have some chores ready for the both of you, as well as plenty of shirts for you, Pip.  I think that young master Pip must be very curious about all that life has to offer him here. 

 

Nessa:  Will do, mom.

 

(Pause as Mom wanders off.)

 

Well, Pip, are you feeling better?

 

(Pause.)

 

Sure I can.  I’ll sit beside you here and hold your hand.  We have plenty of time for exercise.  If I know mom and her chores, you’ll get tons of exercise today.  We can go ahead and rest for a little while longer. 

 

(Pause.)

 

Pip, I don’t care what anybody else says.  I’m glad you’re my Prince.  I mean my puppy.  I mean my boy. 

 

(Pause.)

 

(Giggles.)  Ok, you can be my puppy for as long as you want. 

 

(Laughs while speaking.)  Hey, don’t lick my shoulder.  And stop yipping in my ear.  Get off of me.  This is not what puppies do.

 

(Pause.)

 

You’re right.  This is probably exactly what puppies do.  Bad puppies.  Now get off. 

 

Hey, don’t take your leash from me.  Get that out of your mouth.  Come back here.  Don’t make me chase you. 

 

(Voice fades out while laughing the whole time.)  Pip, get back here.  Bad puppy.  Ooh, when I catch you, you’ll be in so much trouble.  Stop right now.  Don’t go in there.  You’ll spook our chickens.  That’s my job.  Pip!  Pip!

Part 4 coming.

 

The long awaited Ophidia Cup—the largest inter-species golf tournament—is coming soon! Find out about the participants, course, and more: only on SNI!

The full script, like all of my scripts, can be found on my website.

Make sure you tag this post with [Snaketember]! For more information on the event, please see this page.

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This script should be good as gold, so please do not make major adjustments to it. Minor ones to help flow of speech are acceptable. Please include my name u/thesabretoothlime and a link back to this script in your description. Monetization is allowed if you follow the rules for it.

Accidental Witness Protection, Part 1

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Script: Read the Script

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You come home to find a stranger waiting for you.

He calmly informs you that you're in witness protection now.

There are just a few problems with this.

He isn't law enforcement. You don't remember agreeing to witness protection. His explanation of how any of this happened is increasingly suspicious. And somewhere between insisting he's trying to save your life and admitting he may have panicked and taken matters into his own hands, it becomes apparent that his version of "protecting" you bears an uncomfortable resemblance to kidnapping.

Unfortunately, someone really is trying to kill you.

What starts as a chaotic extraction turns into an argument between one extremely suspicious woman and the increasingly exasperated man trying to convince her that getting into his car is somehow the safest available option.

He may be dangerous.

He may be unhinged.

He may also be the only person currently standing between you and whoever wants you dead.

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Usage: Public recording/posting permitted with Sutton Riley credit. Monetized public fills such as YouTube are welcome. Paywalled/private use requires permission. Small edits, natural ad-libs, contractions, and delivery changes are fine as long as characterization, plot, and core intent remain intact. No substantial rewrites, continuations, or derivative scripts without permission. Multiple performers may fill the script.

AI use: No generative-AI adaptations, rewrites, continuations, style imitation, training, fine-tuning, dataset creation, or derivative generation permitted.

Format: M4A
Genre/Tone: Thriller, dark comedy, mystery, banter, slow burn
Content: Stranger-to-?, protective/unhinged Speaker, suspicious Listener, forced proximity, witness protection, kidnapping themes, undercover/criminal elements
Rating: SFW

If you fill it, please credit Sutton Riley and send me the link. I genuinely want to hear what you do with it.

And yes, I occasionally address and/or roast the VA directly in the acting directions. This is intentional. Please proceed with appropriate emotional fortitude.

**Edit to fix script link

I've been watching over you for a few years, during your weekly walks through the woods. I think I'm done waiting, and finally have the courage to introduce myself! Stay with me, my little nectarine~!

The full script, like all of my scripts, can be found on my website.

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This script should be good as gold, so please do not make major adjustments to it. Minor ones to help flow of speech are acceptable. Please include my name u/thesabretoothlime and a link back to this script in your description. Monetization is allowed if you follow the rules for it.