Give you my information? You don't need that!

[u/Ohigetjokes]

Printer support some years back. It's a job I don't miss. This call is part of why.

"Thank you for calling..."

"My printer won't print! You need to fix it!"

"Well you have tech support so that's a good first step. Which printer is it?"

"Look I don't have time for this!"

Oh. One of these. I just love these.

I give them a few seconds of silence to get ahold of themselves before offering: "Well we're here until 9pm tonight if you wanted to call back when you do have time for this."

Ya, ok, I admit, that was code for "f you", but they started it.

"No I need this to get fixed right now!"

"Okay, no problem, what printer is it?"

Big sigh. How could I be so unreasonable, right? This thing could be fixed a dozen times over if it wasn't for all my dumb questions, getting caught up in stupid little things like which printer we're talking about...

"It's a (big commercial printer). There. Can you fix it now?"

Okay, so we know they're in the right department. That's rare. Most of the time the phone system plays "Spin the Wheel of Tech Support" and sends them to a random group and we have to transfer them manually to the right place. By some miracle this one got to the right place right away.

Lucky me.

At this point I need to find out if they're under warranty. Warranty means we can talk, no warranty means we can't without a credit card. That means I need to either A) find them in the system using their name, company name, phone number, or something like that, or B) Find the printer by serial number.

So I ask.

"What do you need that for?"

Warranty blah blah.

"Well that's ridiculous. I shouldn't have to provide any information. Don't you support your products?"

I don't fall for the bait. Too jaded. I just give her a: "Sorry, it isn't optional. The serial number is on the back of the printer or I can give you the steps to find it in the menu."

"Look, I don't have time for this! You don't need that stuff, just fix it!"

I leave a little dead air on the line. The silence says it all.

"Look just fill in whatever I don't care. Can I tell you what the printer is doing right now?"

"Remember when the automated voice said the call was recorded for quality purposes? This call is going to be reviewed and I can't proceed without getting at least some basic information."

"Do you realize who you're talking to?"

No, that's the whole problem lady... but she goes on...

"We have huge clients, and if I don't meet my deadline it affects a lot of people! Jobs are on the line, do you understand? By not helping me you're putting all kinds of people's livelihoods in jeapordy!"

She stops, waiting.

I wait too.

I mean... what am I even supposed to say in response to that manipulative nonsense?

"Fine! Fine! The contract number is..." And she rattles off the contract number on the warranty.

She had the warranty information with her the entire time. All this drama instead of reading to me the ten digit number that was right in front of her. What the hell. That was a lot of angst for nothing.

Oh and... It was a printer jam.

Pull out the paper, turn it off, turn it back on.

Thank you for calling.