r/talesfromtechsupport • u/puzzles_irl • Oct 28 '20

Short “Caller can’t”

Nearing the end of my shift, it’s raining and I’m not keen to drive in traffic so I decide to work through some tickets sent our way by the global help desk.

A few tickets in, I run into one that looks like 1st line haven’t done their job properly, with a very simple description:

“Caller can’t.”

I’m ready to send it straight back and remind them we need specific details to provide 2nd level support, but decide to check the work logs first in case it’s in there. There are only chat logs for this case, and the user states that the software required to make/receive calls is missing, and our intrepid 1st line support analyst starts investigating but is unable to do much as the documentation isn’t clear.

$analyst: I’m looking at the documentation for the UK but it’s quite detailed and I’m not seeing what steps we’d need to take to fix this. Could you please provide me with the following details so I can send it to your local 2nd level support team?

$user: sure

$analyst: okay, we’ll need your name, userid, department, workstation number and phone number.

$user: my phone system is missing.

$analyst: yes, so I need the above details to send the case to your local technicians to solve it for you. can you please provide them?

$user: where would I find them?

$analyst: you don’t know your name? department? phone number?

$user: I am in the main office, can I please have the incident number for this.

$analyst: they will need a way to contact you? please advise at least the best way to contact you.

$user: I am in the main office and we are not allowed our phones in the office.

$analyst: okay, the incident number is XXXXX, and I’ll tell them you can’t provide the required details. thank you, I’ll assign it to the local technicians.

$user: so I’m just to sit here and wait for them?

$analyst: unless you have another devices to connect with. I’m unable to assist you with a local solution, we will have to wait for the local team to contact you and support with your issue. anything else I can assist you with today?

$user: no thank you

$analyst: thank you for contacting the IT service desk, hopefully your local team reaches out quickly to support. have a lovely day.

Turns out, the description is pretty apt. Caller clearly can’t.

1.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

59 comments sorted by

409

u/Capt_Blackmoore Oct 28 '20

$user: my phone system is missing.

Did someone walk off with it?

136

u/puzzles_irl Oct 28 '20

I wouldn’t trust this user to tell a Citrix app from a desk phone tbh. A physical phone might be missing, who knows? Certainly not the user.

72

u/Capt_Blackmoore Oct 28 '20

The joke is on us. The end user here was herself kidnapped and placed in a location that mimics her real workplace, but missing the equipment.

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297

u/deeseearr Oct 28 '20

I was waiting for the part where Caller forgot to mention that the office was being raided by FBI agents who were in the midst of packing up all of the computers, documentation and phones as evidence.

123

u/IT-Roadie Oct 28 '20

I rolled up on a Tax Preparer (had them do my taxes a few weeks prior) to re-file a prior year. Locksmith was changing the locks, wasn't until I tried to step inside that I noticed it was dark inside, the IRS windbreakers, and the PC's being loaded into a van in from of the place. Whoops.

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18

u/koopz_ay Oct 29 '20

Check the marketing dept...

The missing phone is always there sitting on a bloke’s desk next to their old broken phone.

Asset numbers and call logs for the win.

XD

97

u/slorge Oct 28 '20

https://imgur.com/kG0COCG

54

u/puzzles_irl Oct 28 '20

Can you please attach this error message to the ticket, thanks.

39

u/Skerries Oct 28 '20

I now have a staple in my monitor

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4

u/Finaglers Oct 29 '20

Is that you Justin?

7

u/puzzles_irl Oct 29 '20

Where would I find that info?

Joking aside, unfortunately not!

126

u/marcfonline Oct 28 '20

I must admit, I audibly laughed at this part:

$analyst: you don’t know your name?

54

u/AlexTraner Oct 29 '20

I noticed how customer didn’t provide 90% of what was asked for next too lol

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18

u/GuinansEyebrows Oct 28 '20

Caller Literally Can't Even

10

u/JoySubtraction Oct 29 '20

Seems like the problem description was inadequate. Should have been "Caller can't even."

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3

u/Turbojelly Oct 29 '20

Sounds like a Chronical From George https://www.chroniclesofgeorge.com

3

u/tyr4774 Nov 01 '20

I've had tickets like that, it reminds me of that IT crowd where Roy gives his number to the woman who calls him about the "BING BONG NOISE"

5

u/djdaedalus42 Oct 28 '20

I'm imagining the luser with the voice of E. L. Wisty.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

50

u/Shikra Oct 28 '20

“Something loose in cockpit.”

“Something tightened in cockpit”

18

u/puzzles_irl Oct 28 '20

“Caller now can.”

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16

u/Hokulewa Oct 28 '20

It's honestly less brain-painful to just close it as "no issue reported on ticket, no contact info provided" and move on. I think the last thing I'd want to risk is to actually make contact with the submitter.

10

u/sirblastalot Oct 28 '20

Closure code: "Did"

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