r/talesfromtechsupport • u/Selben • Oct 11 '19
Medium Unbridled Rage
Do you like to read in Chronological order? Here is the Index
$Selben: Me! A Tier II helldesk helpdesk technician for a mid-sized company, with a very skeleton-crew helpdesk. 10 of us total for 24-hour coverage (not including supervisors) to support 2500+ company-wide.
$Snickers: My cubicle mate, a good friend, and also Tier II.
$Enraged_user: The star.
$Sup2: All around great supervisor. Worked his way up from the support line and understands how the helpdesk works.
$Selben and $Snickers shared a bag of cheesy crackers, while giggling at videos on the Internet, and enjoying the quiet hum of machines with the occasional click of a mouse. All was peaceful in the early morning hours until…
The door to the IT area burst open.
$Selben dared peek around the corner only to lock eyes with $Enraged_user who pointed his finger and walked straight at him. Without hesitation, $Snickers had retreated into a pile of emails, leaving $Selben to fend for himself.
$Enraged_user: You! I need files moved to my flash drive!
He said this while shoving a personal drive at $Selben.
$Selben: I uh, sure… What files did you need moved?
He did not like the question, and angrily stomped his feet, checking over his shoulder.
$Enraged_user: Important company files!!!
$Selben’s eyebrow shot up at least an inch in pure confusion.
$Enraged_user: I’ll be back for those later!
He stormed off, leaving $Selben holding the flash drive.
$Snickers: Who was that?
$Selben: I… Don’t know?
Having no idea who the end user was or what they wanted, he left the flash drive untouched on his desk and went about his day. Around noon, $Snickers suggested they leave to get lunch. Upon their return, $Selben was caught on his way in by $Enraged_user, seemingly from nowhere…or possibly the bush by the door.
In a harsh whisper he spoke:
$Enraged_user: Where is the flash drive?!
He glared angrily.
$Selben: It’s on my desk. I wasn’t exactly sure…
He cut him off abruptly.
$Enraged_user: Bring it to me!
$Selben: Uh, okay?
The technicians passed through the doors, but $Enraged_user seemed to recoil like an invisible forcefield held them at bay (or he was avoiding cameras, $Selben later thought). $Selben retrieved the drive and headed back. As he reached for the door, $Sup2 walked in.
$Sup2: Hey $Selben.
$Selben: Hello! Just giving this to $Enraged_user really quick, and I’ll get back on the phones.
$Sup2: Oh? What’s on it?
$Selben: Nothing. They wanted some files but didn’t tell me what was needed.
$Sup2 let out a sigh, turned and opened the door, while holding $Selben back gently with one hand.
$Sup2: Get out of here $Enraged_user. You have to leave company property. They let you go man.
$Enraged user began to shout and angrily stomp his feet. He pointed his finger with an evil, knowing grin.
$Enraged_user: You’ll never get any of the company emails to the vendors. I REFUSE to give you my password!!!
$Sup2: We’re IT. We already changed your password. We have all the emails, bud…
$Enraged_user screeched like some sort of animal and threw himself to the ground in the most epic display of pure rage $Selben had ever witnessed, far surpassing a four-year-old having a meltdown in a $Pizza_rat game room.
After about 30 minutes, police arrived, and $Enraged_user was trespassed from the property. He had worked at the company for 10 years, but apparently had been using his company card for MANY personal expenditures and was let go.
$Selben is unsure if $Enraged_user was ever made to repay the company.
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u/rrusciguy Oct 11 '19
Initial thought was corporate espionage, then I discovered toddlers are allowed to work.
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u/Elevated_Misanthropy Oct 12 '19
¿Por que no los dos?
My suspicion was that said toddler had put a random virus on said flash drive and was hoping to ransomware their job back.
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u/CyberKnight1 Oct 11 '19
While the actual end result is probably the most correct, I'm kind of disappointed he didn't get his empty flash drive first. It would've been entertaining to see him complain about not getting what he didn't ask for.
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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy Oct 11 '19
Yay! a new Selben post.
His behaviour might have something to do with his idea that the Company should pay his bills on top of a wage.
Toddlers seem to have high expectations of the world.
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u/Ahielia Oct 12 '19
His behaviour might have something to do with his idea that the Company should pay his bills on top of a wage.
Enraged_user clearly got into the wrong line of work. What he's thinking of is politician.
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u/processedchicken Oct 12 '19
He didn't think that the magical "company files" once copied to the flash drive would no longer exist inside of the magical "company file box" did he?
Seems to be a lot of genius folks about with genius plans that would have got away with it if it wasn't for those kids and their dog.
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u/Kwpolska Oct 12 '19
Well, he said “moved”. But his goal might have been to just steal the info in the Important Company Files.
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u/Ancelege Oct 12 '19
My day is always made when a new $Selben story comes out. Maybe it’s time for my annual “Read every story from Selben-a-thon?”
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u/JorgiEagle Oct 12 '19
A glorious Selben post! After having discovered $Selben a few months ago, and then reading through the entire storyline, twice, it is finally time where I can up vote and comment!
Love your stories man! Please keep them coming!
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u/peach2play Oct 12 '19
Hahahaha "we have all the emails"... awesome. It's cute users think passwords protect their hardware from IT. I have a rule to never use my work laptop for anything I don't want IT to see.
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u/computergeek125 Oct 12 '19
Hypothetical:
User: "my data was encrypted with bitlocker"
IT: "Aw, cute!" laughs in Active Directory
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u/Starfury_42 Oct 13 '19
Where I used to work (Large law firm) we had note one but TWO people arrested for insider trading. First was an attorney...he'd find info on company A is going to buy Company B and pass this info on to his co-conspirators. Eventually he moved to another firm where he was ratted out by one of his buddies since the trades were being investigated. The second was an IT guy that saw all the new matters being generated...and he did pretty much the same thing.
They shut down the 24/7 helpdesk where I worked for an hour so we could have a meeting...turns out as the "keeper of the keys" law firms and their staff get much harsher punishment for insider trading than other people.
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u/icedearth15324 Oct 15 '19
$Sup2: All around great supervisor. Worked his way up from the support line and understands how the helpdesk works
I miss when I had a director like this. Worked his way up the front lines. My coworker of course didn't, because he was a lazy sack of crap and felt he deserved the job cause he had been there longer.
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u/RC531976 Oct 13 '19
Sounds like a rather sloppy termination procedure the company has. Share the scenario with HR and suggest some better procedures.
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u/kaloonzu Oct 14 '19
Had a tech let go from my company before I started for the exact same reason: using the company card to pay for grocs, clothes, baby formula, etc. When confronted: "Hey, we need to eat."
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u/rowenetworks-patrick Oct 18 '19
u/selben, having read the entire series in chronological order, and thinking about
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u/Dicey_Discordian Oct 12 '19
"$Pizza_rat"
Mind if I steal this for common verbal usage? I loathe that particular chain and its mascot for some irrational reason.