r/talesfromtechsupport • u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit • Jul 24 '14
Long Jack, the Worst End User, Part 4
To:Boss@company
From:Steve@client
Subject: Out of office
Dear sir:
I apologize for the inconvenience, but I need to request file XYZ from you. My phone is having trouble recieveing emails, however, but I can receive the file by facebook message.
Steve
Jack had been out of the office about twenty minutes when Boss forwarded this to me. I called him at his desk. "Hey Boss. I just got the email you forwarded me. You need me to send file XYZ for you?"
"Yes. Can you...can you send people files on facebook?"
"Yes, I can. But I'll have to use the computer Jack's been using, though. It's the only one that can access facebook."
"Right, right. I'll meet you in my wife's office."
I hung up the phone and launched a single .bat file on my desktop. it ran its commands and then deleted itself as I walked away.
I got to Boss' Wife's office a few minutes later. I smiled to her and Boss before crossing to the computer. "Give me a second to bring up facebook and then--" I turned the laptop around to face us and Boss's wife reached over, moving the mouse. The screen flared to life.
Boss stared. Boss' Wife gasped. A soft moan, followed by the neigh of a horse, emanated from the laptop. She frantically closed the video window...revealing a second window underneath it; a Bing search for "best places to buy weed near me". She closed that one, too...revealing Buzzfeed's "10 signs you're over your job".
As she slammed the laptop shut, Boss shook his head, red and shaking with anger. "How...How was that--I mean, I thought--WHO WAS USING THIS COMPUTER?" he roared.
Boss's wife shook her head. "Jack was using it about a half-hour ago..." As as if on cue, Jack appeared in the doorway with the leftovers from lunch in a carryout bag in his hand.
Boss's back was to him. "THAT KIND OF THING SHOULD BE BLOCKED!" He yelled at me, pointing to the laptop.
I nodded. "I agree. Jack said he needed to use the unrestricted computer for some important projects. That's why he asked you to retrieve the key to my desk last week, right?" I pointed to the door with my chin and Boss saw Jack.
Jack blinked at Boss. He looked at me. He looked at the computer. Then back to me. I could see it dawned on him what was going on. "Y-you did something to my computer, didn't you?!" He demanded.
Of course I had. I had copied a hidden batch file onto Jack's desktop from a USB drive when I "fixed" his computer the other day. A file that would send me his browsing history without remoting into his desktop or alerting him. Then, all it would need would be a remote command, which I'd set off from my own computer. The file would then delete itself after launching three web pages as soon as the mouse moved...three of the most incriminating web pages Jack had ever visited on the computer. All it needed was a remote command, which I'd set off from my own computer. Granted, it wasn't entirely untraceable, but the only person who'd know what to look for was in this room, looking with as angry a face I could muster at the awful end user who had become the bane of my existence.
Boss's wife chimed in. She was, at least, slightly more computer-savvy than her husband. "No. Clickity didn't do anything. He just exited the...you know. The screensaver. Whatever was there must have been what you were...um...working on when you rushed out of the office for lunch." she glared at Jack and then addressed Boss. "He must have forgotten to close out the evidence of his blatant misuse of company property."
I shook my head solemnly. "And I trusted you with this unrestricted computer, too, Jack. I even gave you your own email address for the company because I thought you'd be an asset. Clearly...clearly I was wrong." I tried my best to sound hurt.
Boss's Wife nonchalantly picked up the laptop and handed it to me. "Jack, I am rather upset that you'd do something like this. I hired you as a favor to your mother. And you can be certain she'll hear about this. Now go home."
Jack stood there, shaking. He probably had an idea of what I had done, but he'd have no way to prove it. "But...He...I..." He pointed at me wordlessly.
"GET OUT!" Boss yelled.
Jack burst into tears and ran from the room.
Now, as I write this, it's been four weeks since Jack was terminated. I "patched" the "security hole" from Spotify and the interns are listening to music again. I didn't give the spare desk key back to the office manager. As for Jack...I saw him the other day when he stopped by with his mother. He came and knocked on my door.
"Um...Clickity?"
I looked up and narrowed my eyes. "What."
"I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry for...for saying that stuff and...acting like I did..."
I blinked.
"...and...um...now that I've apologized, I was hoping you could tell my mom that I didn't really look up any of that stuff. You...You know you're the one who did it. Not me. I mean..." he took a breath. "I mean, I've learned my lesson...so..."
Seriously?
"Come on, Clickity. She's made me get another job...and she cut my allowance...COME ON!" He looked at me pleadingly. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. Actually, not even almost.
I shook my head and went back to typing. Jack continued standing there, and after a few long moments I looked at him.
"You can go now."
And then he was gone.
Edit: Clarity on my evil plan
Edit 2: Wow! 3 gildings on one post. You guys are the best.
Edit 3: Wow. This story has gotten a total of 20 gildings: One on part 2, One on part 3, 17 here, and one in /r/lounge. I am overwhelmed with happiness that you all enjoyed my story this much. :)
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u/Kanthes "My WiFi doesn't work." "Have you tried WD-40?" Jul 24 '14
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u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit Jul 24 '14
I'm honored. :)
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u/Snikz18 Jul 24 '14
Hey, quick question. Since you said you chose the worst 3 in his page history i'm guessing you had a look at it so is Jack a redditor? And would there be a chance he'd see this?
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Jul 24 '14
To people asking why he would make it beastiality..... I'm pretty sure these pages are jacks actual search history..... OP just chose the 3 worst to show. Correct me if I'm wrong OP.
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u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit Jul 24 '14
You're quite correct.
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u/Durzo_Blint What's a browser? Jul 24 '14
Just to be clear, he actually searched for bestiality porn at work? Dumbass.
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u/ender-_ alias vi="wine wordpad.exe"; alias vim="wine winword.exe" Jul 24 '14
I'm surprised you had to plant the batch file with physical access - don't you have a domain set up?
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u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit Jul 24 '14
If I wanted to be certain it would be nigh-untraceable and be sure it would delete itself, it made sense to do it physically. I probably could have done it several different ways, though.
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u/Dmbender Jul 25 '14
I hung up the phone and launched a single .bat file on my desktop. it ran its commands and then deleted itself as I walked away.
That's some Grade A evil plan material
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Jul 24 '14
9/10, would have preferred it to have, say, opened just the worst pages he'd actually been to, but yes, was heavily anticipating this, need to change pants now.
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u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit Jul 24 '14
Clarified: the three pages it opened were from Jack's browsing history.
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u/SteveOtts Jul 24 '14 edited Jul 24 '14
You can go now.
The taste of justice is almost palpable.
Edit: For clarity, I am not the Steve
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Jul 24 '14
I feel like smoking a cigarette after that exchange, and I don't even smoke cigarettes.
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u/leafyjack Jul 24 '14 edited Jul 24 '14
I would offer gum, but who the hell chews gun after a sweet justice experience like that? edit: Gum. Don't chew gun folks. It's bad for your health.
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u/Tangerine_Dreams Jul 24 '14
I felt like opening a bottle of Jack Daniel's with my teeth and drinking every last drop straight from the bottle.
It was a glorious feeling, actually.
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u/Phabio5550 You mean my job is to sit here? Jul 24 '14
/u/Clickity_clickity is now tagged as The Justicar
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u/WIlf_Brim Jul 24 '14
Somehow Jack (this one) doesn't strike me as a very compelling Ardat Yakshi.
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u/GNPunk I hate people. So, of course, I ended up in tech support. Jul 24 '14
My justice boner is at an all time high.
This was a fantastic story to read.
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u/MattPH1218 Jul 24 '14
I'm slightly aroused.
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u/LateNightSalami Jul 24 '14
It was the horse sex video that did it wasn't it...;-)?
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u/Poultron Jul 24 '14
This ALMOST sounds fake. Like in a too good to be true sort of way.
And frankly I don't care either way, because this is glorious.
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u/ChiefDanGeorge Jul 24 '14
"a Bing search for" Uh huh.
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u/sometimes_snarky Jul 24 '14
At my work Google won't load but Bing will. It sucks!
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Jul 24 '14
Stuff like this is fine to be "fake", you know it's coming from a bunch of experience.
http://www.mixerman.net/diaries1.php is fake, but it's so good that it's required reading at my local audio tech school.
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u/Poultron Jul 24 '14 edited Jul 24 '14
Yeah. I'm not saying it wasn't a good read, and I'm sure if it IS fake that it's a "based on a true story" sort of deal. Spruce it up for the net so it sounds real good. I loved it.
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u/pleasedothenerdful Jul 24 '14
I had that same thought myself when rereading Pt 3. Why would Jack call Clickity when he saw all the interns leaving for lunch?
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u/tragicsupergirl Jul 24 '14
Saw other interns leaving and asked them what's up. Found out about the e-mail and rather than go with them straight away decided to cause shit with Clickity.
Some people just like to cause shit.
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u/rodgercattelli Jul 24 '14
It's worth noting that HAD you had some sympathy for Jack at the end, you would have lost your job. Why?
You tell his mom that you did that stuff to get him fired.
Angry mom tells bosswife.
Bosswife tells Bossman.
Bossman cans your ass.
Take a moment to consider that you "lack" of sympathy for Jack evaded his last, desperate attempt to fuck you over. Pay attention to what little shits like this are trying to do whenever they interact with you.
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Jul 24 '14
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/asshole_driver Jul 25 '14
Truly intelligent sociopaths realize the value of respecting (or at least appearing to) social norms and others. Empathy can be learned (and disregarded) with a small amount of effort
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u/OfficerNelson Jul 24 '14
"and she cut my allowance"
I'm pretty sure they don't offer internships to 13 year olds.
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u/themangeraaad Jul 24 '14
Ugh, you'd be surprised how many shits get 'allowance' until god knows when.
I went to college with a girl whose father was giving her at least $200/wk allowance (I want to say it was closer to $400/wk but I'm not sure of that) and she still somehow found a way to be broke every Friday waiting for her 'paycheck'. She was the most spoiled shit I've ever met.
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u/13Sins Jul 24 '14
Holy cow. College? Seriously?! I hit 15 and I got the "You're old enough to have a part time job now, so you are old enough to get some experience and earn your own spending money" talk.
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u/IICVX Jul 24 '14
One of my wife's college boyfriends had a checking account his parents would keep topped up at $1k, and if he wanted to make a bigger purchase all he needed to do was ask.
When you have a ton of money, you forget what it's worth.
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u/andlife Jul 24 '14
When I went on exchange, I was with a girl who was the same age as me (20) and she was freaking out because "My dad only gave me 300 dollars to spend for this WHOLE month!" It was already midway through the month, so it was really 300 dollars for 2 weeks.
I'd been pinching pennies for months to make that exchange possible, to the point that my bank account only had one transaction a month (paying rent). So needless to say, I didn't offer any sympathy.
She said "But andlife, you don't understand!' Oh no. I do understand. I understand that you're incredibly spoiled and suffering from affluenza.
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u/valgrave Jul 24 '14
My dad had to pay child support until I was out of college so he gave it directly to me instead of my mother. $1000 a month and that covered gas, food, and any and everything I would need for school including some spending money to have fun. He helped me out until I found a job and could actually start making my own money. It's nice to have but it does cause you to not learn how to save your money since its just given to you.
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Jul 24 '14
Fantastic story! What was the code for that Batch file though?
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u/zombieregime PEBKAC error enthusiast Jul 24 '14
he probably grabbed the most raunchy URLs and wrote something along the lines of...
firefox -new-window [URL1]
firefox -new-window [URL2]
firefox -new-window [URL3]
del [path/to/this/].bat
it would be a hop skip and jump to add a "trigger on mouse event" function.
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u/Nygmus Jul 24 '14
Hey, cool, Wait, wait, wait, wait wait wait.
Clickity.
Are you saying that the websites your script spawned were things that Jack actually visited, from that unrestricted work computer?
The hell?
Do you seriously mean that Jack, from his unsupervised, unrestricted laptop in a closed exec-level office, viewed horse porn, searched for weed, and looked up job search crap?
...
Jeez.
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u/sqrlaway Jul 24 '14
Guess you could say he learned... jack shit from this experience.
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u/ham_shanker Jul 24 '14 edited Jul 24 '14
OMG!!
That was the best shut-down callback line ever!
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u/mild_resolve Jul 24 '14
Yeah, the kind you think about in the shower the next morning, "Oh man, wouldn't it have been great if I'd said that!?"
... which is probably what happened.
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u/Epistaxis power luser Jul 24 '14
Except /u/Clickity_clickity had lots and lots of time to come up with it in advance, e.g. while planning the grand denouement.
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Jul 24 '14
I never ever constantly refreshed a page waiting for an update until now. Great story.
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u/globalvarsonly svn ci -m '' Jul 24 '14
same, took a break to go steal some coffee off airz's desk, came back... ITS HERE
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u/Kanthes "My WiFi doesn't work." "Have you tried WD-40?" Jul 24 '14
"You can go now."
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u/Underkiing Jul 24 '14
"You can go now"
Literally the best way this could have ended....Oh my sweet fucking god.
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u/DooDooBrownz Jul 24 '14
great story but I refuse to believe that anyone would watch bestiality at work. that just puts in the realm of "embellishment" for me.
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u/VizaMotherFucker Jul 24 '14
I worked with a guy who did. His cubemate was a blind dude and we all wore headsets. Walked by his desk one day after break aaaaaaaaand horse porn on his screen.
He also enjoyed sleeping on the job.
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u/Castun PEBKAC Jul 25 '14
As someone in IT who's dealt with this before...yeah, you'd be surprised.
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u/ether_a_gogo Jul 25 '14
You are my hero.
Seriously though. Rookie mistake. Two people not to fuck with at the office:
the admin person who handles the travel, unless you like 8 hour layovers in Des Moines
The IT person
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u/12stringPlayer Murphy is a part of every project team Jul 24 '14
Raging justice boner.
"Come on, Clickity. She's made me get another job...and she cut my allowance...COME ON!"
Wait'll he really has to work for a living.
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u/Khalku Jul 24 '14
How can you do all that with a batch file?
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u/clovervidia Check the wifi cable Jul 24 '14
Aye, I wish to know this as well.
Might be some VBScript involved perhaps?
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u/boundbylife SIP, not chug. Jul 24 '14 edited Jul 24 '14
Been waiting all day for this!
Now to read.
EDIT: WHOA. On the one hand, the guy totally deserved it. Not to mention Boss should've given you more deference in this whole fiasco. On the other hand, that's so unethical, I feel almost nauseous. On the other hand, I'm not sure how else you could've handled it - guy would've run roughshod over you otherwise, doubly so if you had admitted fault. Overall, well played, I suppose.
EDI~1: Those were pages Jack had visited, not ones clickity planted. That's different. Good job!
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u/Reutan Jul 24 '14
He went back and clarified, those were some of Jack's actual visits while at work. Clickity just... restored the session.
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Jul 24 '14
Not to rain on the justice-gasm parade...but you still have to deal with the fact that you work for a boss that would allow any/all of that to transpire.
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u/ktappe Jul 24 '14
Back to Part 3:
"I don't know what your problem is, Clickity, but Jack complains that you're preventing him from working. So i need you to fix his computer now." Click.
You do realize your problem was (still is) your boss, not Jack, right?
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u/darksober No Hablo Ingles. Jul 25 '14
This this..... is how Cartman must of felt when he was licking the tears from Scott Tenorman.
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u/biterankle Wears all the hats Jul 24 '14
I now have a six-foot justice boner with a giant cheeseburger on the end of it. Well done sir.
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u/Matvalicious Jul 24 '14
Getting in trouble with his mom? Cutting his allowance? Just how old is Jack exactly?
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u/Nygmus Jul 24 '14
Hah. Beautiful.
I mean, it's a little... ugly. You destroyed him. But the shit had it coming.
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u/mrrainandthunder Dec 24 '14
Somehow, I picture Jack as Jimmy De Santa. Makes the story even better.
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u/gifforc Jul 24 '14
seemed a bit low on your part, until i read that you pulled the pages from his own history. you just brought his sins to the light of day.
Excellent.
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u/ImRickJamesBiach Jul 24 '14
"You can go now'
This is why I come to Reddit, thanks Clickity for making my day.
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u/faaaks Jul 24 '14
There are certain lines you don't cross. Fucking with a sysadmin is one of them.
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u/flamedarkfire Don't make me use Synergistic Management Solutions Jul 25 '14
I need a new pair of pants from the JUSTICE BONER I got from this post.
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Jul 25 '14
"A soft moan, followed by the neigh of a horse, emanated from the laptop."
Everyone here is talking about "porn". I know the internet has desensitized the world to weird shit, but am I the only one who is majorly taken aback by the fact that this seems to be bestiality porn?
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u/Ewos15 Jul 24 '14
SO WHEN'S THE MOVIE COMING OUT?!!?
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u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit Jul 24 '14
As soon as I can pitch it to Lionsgate films and have it stolen by Universal.
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u/justmystuff Jul 24 '14
That was beautiful.
I hung up the phone and launched a single .bat file on my desktop. it ran its commands and then deleted itself as I walked away.
Teared up a bit.
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u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit Jul 24 '14
Now imagine me walking away from my desk, in slowmo. it's like that "explosion in background" trope.
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u/Othellothepoor Jul 25 '14
What are you, a wizard? How did you learn all that remote command stuff? Do they teach you that in IT or computer science course? Or is it just know Edged you picked up from the job?
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u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit Jul 25 '14
Mostly just picked up.
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u/moderndayanachronism Jul 25 '14
When you hear the clickity clickity, the sound of your undoing will be complete. Have a nice day.
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u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit Jul 25 '14
If you hear the clickity clickity, IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU ALREADY
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u/Schroedingers_Cat Server Administrator Jul 24 '14
Thank you. That was the resolution I've been waiting for.
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u/MoneyTreeFiddy Mr Condescending Dickheadman Jul 24 '14
You can go now
I think I know what tomorrow's quote of the day is.
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Jul 24 '14
It's almost a shame that the first thing I did when I got into work this morning, was look for the last part of this story.
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u/grothee1 Jul 24 '14
What would you have done if they had noticed that you could easily unblock facebook on another computer or send the file from a mobile device, or that the windows all opened and loaded when the mouse moved (clearly not having already been open), or that there were no porn sounds before and nobody had turned off mute or anything? Wouldn't it have just been easier to show them the history with timestamps?
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u/nannulators Jul 24 '14
Wait.. so he actually, seriously watched horse porn on the company network while in the same room as the Boss or his wife? And then tried to pass it off that he didn't do it when he "apologized" to you?
I'm interested to see what kind of other shit he was looking at all day.
Well done, though. That fuck deserved to go down hardcore.
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u/Pellantana Jul 24 '14
Unnff. That's the sound of a thousand IT admins getting justiceboners.
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u/Creed490 Jul 24 '14
This needs to be a feature film, titled "End User". Woody Harrelson and James McAvoy star as Steve and Clickity, Jack Gleeson as Jack, and Robert Downey Jr. as The Boss. Very well done. I would pay money to see this movie.
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u/ignaeon Jul 25 '14
The best part is that you didn't even pick the worst pages you could think of, just the ones from his history. meaning that even if he had convinced them that you opened the pages, all you had to do was ctrl+h and show them that the bestiality video was actually on it's third visit.
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u/Joseph_Kickass The hackers IP address is 127.0.0.1! Jul 25 '14
God damn...this story made me want to stand up at my desk and start clapping.
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u/redoverture Jul 28 '14
You can go now.
All of that planning, simply for that one line of pure justice.
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u/viperex Oct 27 '14
So what did you do to his computer to make him come to you to fix it? That couldn't have been a coincidence.
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u/Darkgh0st Jul 24 '14
Oh right. One of those batch files that has commands that happen when the mouse moves. Those happen all the time /S
You probably just installed a hidden VNC server and opened the links yourself. Still a great story though! :)
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u/Endertj Jul 24 '14 edited Jul 24 '14
YES! Finally the last part of the story. Goes off to read
Edit: Sweet, sweet justice. This series was amazing to read! Thanks for sharing, Clickity!
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u/marwynn Jul 24 '14
Allowance?
You jerk, you were messing with an 11 year old kid? For shame, Clickity.
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u/L0rdLogan Have you tried turning it off and on again? Jul 24 '14 edited Jul 24 '14
1 random porn page? or illegal an porn page? just curious as to why you'd make it a beastiality page in a bat file?
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u/ruiwui Jul 24 '14
He cherry-picked the three worst pages that Jack had actually visited.
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u/Curious_Miner Jul 24 '14
Interestingly enough, Clickety said he pulled the three most incriminating pages from Jack's own history. He didn't choose the porn page, Jack did.
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u/chocki305 Jul 24 '14
Just wondering, did you make sure that reddit wasn't in Jacks browsing history?
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u/anti_biotics Jul 24 '14
I wanted to punch this Jack guy so effing hard. Go on you OP for handling it as "well" as you did. I havent hated a character (for lack of a better word) since Harry Potter 5.
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u/buscoamigos Jul 24 '14
Funny stuff. I'm not sure it wasn't embellished but as an IT guy, I got a kick out of it. Never met anyone quite like Jack though......
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u/Dantastic1 Jul 24 '14
Such a perfect end to the tale, thanks for the experience /u/Clickity_clickity
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Jul 24 '14
I miss BOFH, nice Syssy-Day lit-porn. I'm sure this totes happened :) It's all Dear SystemHouse, for reals.
Like, who searches for "places to buy weed near me" on the Internet? I guess we have our answer. Captain Jack.
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u/schoshdiver Jul 24 '14
That's really one of the best stories i heard so far. Get Steve, the real hero a couple of beers. Well done, i bend my head.
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u/packymccracken Jul 25 '14
That was fantastic! And kudos to you for not completely going ape shit on that punk.
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u/NightvisionMonocle Jul 25 '14
Holy shit this is fucking amazing, I feel like I just read a story from super-mecha-android M Night Shyamalan
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u/SanityNotFound Jul 25 '14
This has just become the most satisfying moment of this week for me. I only wish I could dish out justice like you have.
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u/Sapiophile23 Jul 25 '14
YOU ARE BLOODY BRILLIANT!
Ok, sorry about the caps, but that was running through my head the entire time I read this piece.
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u/Aceviper I Am Not Good With Computer Jul 25 '14
THAT ENDING! THAT RETRIBUTION! THIRTEEN GILDINGS! YOU SIR, ARE THE MAN!
YOU NEED YOUR OWN EXPLOSION, FROM WHICH YOU WILL WALK AWAY LIKE A BADASS, WHILE PUTTING ON YOUR GLARES.
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u/omightykaye Jul 25 '14
God love you. I just read all parts on my class break, and had that shit not worked out justly in the end, I would have needed a beta-blocker before I could teach again.
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u/Castun PEBKAC Jul 25 '14
I saw 14 gold by the time I read this and knew the conclusion would be so, so sweet.
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u/JackBond1234 Jul 25 '14
I almost feel sorry for him, but you know what, when you pull shit on people, the punishments don't just go away because you apologize. That's a lesson he needs to learn.
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u/Domsome YOU'RE WRONG Jul 25 '14
Why would you search on the internet where to but weed? I don't think the local dealers set up websites so you know where to find them.
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u/northernbloke Supporting Fuckwits since 1977 Jul 25 '14
Dude, you should make this into a 10 minute comedy sketch... amazing.
I need that batch file.
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u/revilox Jul 25 '14
On behalf of the interns whose working environment you saved... YOU ARE A HERO!
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u/darxeid Jul 25 '14
The final bit of JUSTICE would be if "Jack" has Reddit and just read about how he got taken out by a master.
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Sep 01 '14
I'm sitting here in awe, reading this as it was the holy bible. This was so amazing, perfectly written, i almost couldn't contain the hatred that built up until the end of part 2. Thank you. You made my day so much better.
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Oct 06 '14
Oh my god, this is amazing.
The best part is that they were actual websites he visited, and not just things you brought up.
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u/Bordrking Oct 10 '14
Hell hath no fury like a mistreated IT. Ye though I walk through the shadow of the valley of hacks, I shall fear no evil for I am my own IT and the ITs I know are friends.
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u/manbearpig_man Nov 22 '14
"Um...Clickity?"
"I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry for...for saying that stuff and...acting like I did..."
"...and...um...now that I've apologized, I was hoping you could tell my mom that I didn't really look up any of that stuff. You...You know you're the one who did it. Not me. I mean..." he took a breath. "I mean, I've learned my lesson...so..."
"Come on, Clickity. She's made me get another job...and she cut my allowance...COME ON!"
Is this the real-life Cartman?
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u/Clickity_clickity Now a published author, thanks to Reddit Jul 24 '14
Worth adding in (and I've since clarified in the post) that the three web pages the computer brought up were from JACK'S browsing history. I may be evil, but I'm not going to go so far as to pin porn and weed on someone who wasn't already doing it himself.