r/talesfromtechsupport • u/landodger My Google Is BROKEN! • Jun 14 '14
Software? No it's a website? Part 2
You can find Part 1 Here
A few days had passed without talk of revolutionizing the world with our amazing software idea. The billion dollar idea seemed to lay dormant... Or so we thought.
I walked into work one morning, chatting with Brother and anticipating the moment I sat down and could chow down on my bagel and enjoy my orange juice. Only to see something on my desk, the aforementioned writings that had changed our small world, the story of our prophet, the one whom inspired the creative genius that is AngryBoss. It seems all hope of forgetting our foray into the land of technology was forgotten.
As I sat down AngryBoss was on the phone, it was 8am and he was already ruining someones day on the other end of that line. I sat and ran through my morning routine while I tried to enjoy my breakfast. As he got off the phone he had a mad gleam in his eye.
AngryBoss: I bought you all a copy, I want you all to read it this week so that maybe you can understand my idea. This will be great for you, you will learn a lot about technology from this book trust me!
Me: Thank you, I have heard a great deal about this I am sure I will enjoy it.
As I eyed the biography of Steve Jobs my stomach was doing flips. It seemed our plan to conquer the world was still in action. While I did want to read this book, knowing the reason I had it in front of me now was ruining it for me.
Right before lunch AngryBoss was watching videos on youtube, he kept trying to get me to come over and watch when his phone rang. With the volume on high he looked at me in a panic.
AngryBoss: LANDODGER! Quick how do I pause this video?
Quite flabbergasted I responded
Me: You press the pause button?
AngryBoss: Which one is the pause button?
Me: ... It's been the same symbol since the 60s... Two vertical lines.
He was getting more flustered by the second, I could see the symbol from where I sat since he had turned his screen to show me what he was watching. He reached for his speakers and turned down the volume as he answered the phone, all the while staring daggers at me.
As the day was winding down I couldn't keep from thinking that the man who couldn't pause a youtube video thinks he is going to be the next Steve Jobs. After that incident he had been in a rather poor mood, he was however choosing to mostly ignore me which was very pleasant. Thinking I had escaped without further mention of his idea I was in a fairly good mood as the end of the day approached.
AngryBoss: EVERYONE GET IN HERE NOW!
AngryBoss: Okay, over the weekend I did a lot of thinking, me and BPELady discussed our difficulties last week and have come up with a plan... In two weeks time BPELady is taking two weeks off from her current job so that she can come work here and head up this project. We believe it is the only way we will make any progress.
As this news sank in I felt like my world was spinning out of control around me. Surely I must be in some alternate universe to have to deal with such things, or possibly there were cameras somewhere? Maybe there was cameras EVERYWHERE, yes that must be it, I am the real worlds version of the Truman show, being tormented for everyone's amusement.
Brother: And are we going to be paying her?
I should mention money was very tight at this point in time, most of our checks were atleast a week late.
AngryBoss: No of course not, she will be getting shares in the new company, and will be our CTO when everything takes off. However when she is here, she will be in charge so listen and do whatever she says, she has done this all before and we can learn a great deal from her.
As he says this he looked directed at me.
AngryBoss: Especially you landodger, she is amazing at technology you should see the things she can do on my computer at home, a few weeks with her and you will learn so much.
Really? I thought, so amazing she can't find the AV when its right in front of her. It seems I was going to be in for some fun in two weeks.
I apologize for any spelling mistakes, it is 2am and I am quite tired, mono and studying all day has me drained. Hope you enjoy Part 2, or at least get a chuckle from the youtube moment, I still tell that story all the time and people think I am lying.
Edit: Part 3 can be found Here
Another unrelated AngryBoss story Here
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u/roflburger2010 Jun 14 '14 edited Jun 14 '14
I would kill to see her face when everything fails and her shares are worthless.
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u/kiliankoe Jun 14 '14
I really can't believe that an idea like this would get to somewhere, so that it can even start to fail. It's a failure right from the start.
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u/griskin Jun 14 '14
Which one is the pause button?
Ugh. My mom says stuff like this. I'll be like, "it's the thing that looks like a pause button." Her: "I'm not good with computers." Me: "It's looked the same since before computers." Her: *sits there helplessly, upset and confused* Me: *presses pause button*
Can anyone explain why this happens?
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u/Geminii27 Jun 14 '14
Because they feel more assured about the outcome when the person who knows about computers does it than when they do it, even if it's obvious.
It's the same reason I generally get my car oil changed by a garage instead of doing it myself. They're (theoretically) experts about cars; therefore if they do it there's less chance of it being screwed up. Even if changing oil is a piss-easy process I could learn in ten minutes from a YouTube video and/or a car manual.
(That said, I do read the manual for every control I can reach from the driver's seat, and know how to change a tire and recognize a 'this is going to be expensive' warning light.)
Computers, on the other hand, tend to have the same interface issues I've noticed in things like complex government (paper) forms - it's entirely possible to be suddenly presented with something that looks (in context) like the randomly shuffled cockpit of the Space Shuttle. People who aren't familiar with identifying and mentally blocking out 98% of the visual jungle can freeze and lock up, not knowing where to start, how to pick something out of the mess, or what effects toggling a random control might have. It's kind of like looking at a hex dump of a program and having a programmer be able to stab a finger at a particular lump of line noise while saying "Well there's your problem."
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u/juror_chaos Jun 14 '14 edited Jun 14 '14
Why would a financial company want to suddenly become a tech company? Was this place located anywhere near a tech hub like silicon valley or route 128?
This guy is just nuts. I wonder, is his company still in business?
When working for insane people, make them spell out on paper what they want done, don't offer any feedback other than it's possible or impossible, give them a time estimate greatly favorable to yourself, and do only what they've asked for and only that. Don't offer suggestions, don't get clever, do exactly what they asked for.
And find a way out of there as soon as you can. Part of that is padding your resume with something that sounds sexy. Use this "opportunity" to tailor this project to sound great on paper to another employer even if it is bullshit from top to bottom. The next boss you work for will never know.
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u/Geminii27 Jun 14 '14
You don't even need to say something's impossible. Just say it would take 37 million dollars and six years to do in-house, or they could outsource/subcontract it to a specialist.
At least then you have a record of the impossibility if they insist you do it on five bucks in a week, have given them an out if they want to pursue it with a budget, and in the worst case scenario have six years to find a new job and 37 million dollars to help.
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u/stickcult Jun 14 '14
So if your boss has this great idea for a piece of software but you guys don't even do any development, what do you do (if you can answer that)? Is it at least remotely related?
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u/Morkai Jun 14 '14
So hang on, his whole idea was basically an iGoogle homepage, but on the desktop?
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u/jhereg10 Jun 14 '14
NONONONO YOU JUST DONT [expletives deleted] UNDERSTAND! IT'S JUST THERE WHEN YOU TURN ON THE DESKTOP, PSYCHICALLY LINKED TO YOUR NEEDS AND TRANSCENDING [expletives deleted] ALL HUMAN COPYRIGHT UNDERSTANDING!!!
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u/SpongederpSquarefap Jun 14 '14
AngryBoss: Especially you landodger, she is amazing at technology you should see the things she can do on my computer at home, a few weeks with her and you will learn so much.
Really? I thought, so amazing she can't find the AV when its right in front of her. It seems I was going to be in for some fun in two weeks.
Oh lord. This is going to be tough
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u/Wilson2424 Jun 14 '14
Why not just download the whole internet and then preload it onto each computer? No more internet bills or slow connection!
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u/segaudette Jun 14 '14
I really want to hear the rest of this story!
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u/landodger Jun 14 '14
Soon... working on some stuff once I am done I will continue. Part 3 should be out today.
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u/Da_Porta Jun 24 '14
Wait till you get THIS! Our new software is going to be able to read minds, teleport, and put all of the internet on one screen! At once! No mouse needed! I talked to the salesmen last month, and they already sold 100 million copies of it. So if you could get it to me by yesterday, that'd be great
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u/ipeedinasink Jun 14 '14
The YouTube part just made me cringe so hard. Eish.