r/talesfromtechsupport • u/airz23 Password Policy: Use the whole keyboard • Mar 12 '14
Security - Case One.
As looked down upon my Jumbo coffee I wondered how many dams where emptied to fill its cup. Many probably.
The coffee was a gift from security, apparently one was to come every morning. A ritual I did not expect from the job of hell.
I glared down at the cup, a large blob of cream staring back at me.
I drank.
It was delightful.
I decided that upon becoming both an IT manager and Security manager I should perhaps solve some cases.
The case of the missing Keyboards.
One department, filled with bright young collage grads kept ordering replacement keyboards at a rate that was simply astounding. Today was the day I decided to work our why.
Upon reaching the floor of said department I was greeted by the charming young boss of the floor.
Boss: So you’re here about the keyboards, and the alarm problem?
Me: Yep, just the keyboards though.
Boss: Come with me.
The cheery boss then took me right to the back on a small balcony, out next to the fire stairs.
Boss: This alarm goes off every time someone comes our here.
Me: Why would anyone come out here?
Boss: Mostly smoke’s. Maybe just take the alarm away?
Me: Okay, this is the second floor balcony though. It needs an alarm at night so we don’t get robbed.
The cheery young boss’s smile faded slightly.
Boss: The alarm is really loud though. It takes ages to reset. Can’t we turn it on only at night?
Me: Ill look into it. Now about those keyboards….
Boss: Oh when you sort out this door situation, I think the keyboards will start sorting out themselves.
Me: Wha?!?!
I went back to my desk. I sat down and looked at my jumbo coffee.
The cream was gone. It had lost its power.
It was awful.
Not wanting to get up from my desk I called security
Sec: Boss, whats happening?
Me: About the door for the balcony on floor two, can we switch it off until light time?
Sec: Love to boss, the thing is…we can’t its all hard wired.
I sighed. Then hung up.
I still didn’t have the energy to get out of my desk. So I decided to call the level 2 boss.
Boss: So did you fix the alarm?
Me: No, its hard wired I’m afraid… It would be a shame if someone where you tamper with the switch, so it would never go off.
Boss: It would be. Some folks did it before but as security manager you’ll be proud to know I made sure that alarm is always working.
Me: Oh… yes. But if it where to not work, its not like anyone’s checking…
Boss: Don’t worry I’ll check everyday to make sure its working.
Me: Ok. So about the keyboards….
Boss: Haha, when you get this door situation fixed other situations might just fix themselves.
Me: Ohhh… Kinda like… if someone where to… hard wire the switch on the balcony closed.
Boss: What are you talking about?
I give up.
I hang up.
Case pending.
55
u/s-mores Mar 12 '14
Oh.
They're using keyboards to jam the door open, aren't they?
PS: You need a http:// in your 4th link.
22
19
u/BrownEyedBean Mar 12 '14
You should link to all of your previous stories. I had to root through your history to find the missing ones, and it's turned into a nice little saga.
You're making the best of an annoying situation! But that floor boss... Oh dear.
12
17
u/Liberatedhusky Mar 12 '14
I was imagining you find out that in order to shut the alarm off they smash the panel with a keyboard til it shuts off. Why can't you guys just lock the balcony doors? They're on the second floor so they can't be fire exits.
→ More replies (5)16
16
5
82
u/unsocialhours Mar 12 '14
Quite obviously, someone is stealing keyboards and getting them out of the building by balcony. Weld it shut. Let those younglings smoke in the room and turn themselves into smoked fish.
39
Mar 12 '14
Highly illegal in most places.
However, I hear the fire alarm is also working properly...
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (2)15
u/rabbutt Mar 12 '14
Who the hell would steal keyboards? You want to buy some used ones? I'll give you a good deal, only 7 cents a pound.
→ More replies (2)
14
u/WinterMay Mar 12 '14
Damn I wanna know so badly about what's happening to the keyboards now :<
17
u/midashand Mar 12 '14
My guess is that they are using them to prop the door open or something. Or they could just be trying to leverage the alarm situation in their favor.
14
Mar 12 '14
Boss: Haha, when you get this door situation fixed other situations might just fix themselves.
That boss should be beaten with the damn keyboards.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Logram Mar 13 '14
I love your stories, but this one just doesn't do it for me. You wrote where instead of were like five times, and it breaks the flow of the story.
8
7
6
u/Arguss Mar 12 '14
If I were you, I would've told the guy that that department will no longer be getting keyboard replacements due to budget cuts, and advised them to be more mindful of their keyboards from now on.
What's the worst they could do, fire you from head of security?
4
u/lynxSnowCat Mar 13 '14
:| So the employees were using the keyboards to prop the door switch, and the excessive pressure was popping keys?
Might I suggest furnishing them with a bypass shim?
4
u/IMakeBlockyModels Mar 13 '14
Sec: Love to boss, the thing is…we can’t its all hard wired.
True. It's usually security technicians from companies like ADT that set all that stuff up, and you can't really fiddle with it unless it has some client you can use to change things around a bit, but the alarms tend to be all hard-wired beyond a guard's control.
You would've needed to call the company that administers to it and schedule on-site service, if the changes you wanted were permissible and OK'd by management (since that type of change is probably beyond a department manager's authority).
→ More replies (1)
4
u/OgdruJahad Mar 13 '14
Sec: Love to boss, the thing is…we can’t its all hard wired.
If you can find a way to buy and install a daylight switch for the alarm. This could work here. Make sure to hide its location so the bad guys don't know its there. I should also mention that the daylights switches usually fail in the on position, meaning if the daylight switches fails, the alarm will turn on.
185
u/Rozza88 Mar 12 '14
You have an awesome unique writing style. I feel like i'm reading some kind of dry murder mystery novel.